At first I thought that Wednesday seemed like any other post-school afternoon. But ah, how looks can deceive. I came home that day, one of my last days of senior year, racing through downtown and onto the highway, as usual in the SUV mumsy and dad had bought for me as a bribe to not rat them out to the feds for ____________ (TYPE OF CRIMINAL FELONY). True, I may have been going a little faster than usual... did I forget to mention that my ____________ (SIBLING'S/ HOLLYWOOD STYLE FITNESS I.E. POLE DANCING ETC. INSTRUCTOR) was also in the car, performing ____________ (NOUN/ACT) on ____________ (HIM/HERSELF). But my other half, ____________ (GIRL'S NAME), was cool with that kind of stuff... at least, I think she was. We never officially discussed it, but I could tell because of the way she ____________ (PAST TENSE VERB) when we ____________ (PAST TENSE VERB) in the ____________ (AREA ON A FARM). And, that look in her ____________ (BODY PARTS) also reassured me that she wouldn't have too much of a problem if ____________ (I WHAT OLD MOTHER HUBBARD'S DOG WANTED FROM THE CUPBOARD + D) around. After all, she was my ____________ (TYPE OF NONACADEMIC HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER) and she had a whole ____________ (TYPE OF BUILDING full of PEOPLE WITH BAD REPUTATIONS to SMUTTY PRESENT TENSE VERB). 
So I pulled into the driveway only to see our ____________ (FAMILY PET) taking it in the ____________ (BODY PART) from the Mitchell family's ____________ (ANOTHER PET ANIMAL). Damn, and I thought that stuff only happened in comics and when I took too many ____________ (PILL NAME, MULTIPLE). I would have stayed to watch, but out of the corner of my eye I saw that the front door was open. Which could mean only one thing. Daddy was home! Yay! I hadn't seen him since the night Momma burnt the ____________ (DISH OF FOOD) on ____________ (HOLIDAY) when he threatened to out her ____________ (AMOUNT OF MONEY) a day ____________ (STREET DRUG NAME) habit, though he punished her with a half-hour ____________ (VERB INVOLVING THE USE OF A PADDLE TO HIT ONE'S BACKSIDE) instead. I scrambled up the stairs and dashed down the hallway, towards the living room when suddenly, I stopped. That wasn't Daddy's voice. And it wasn't even ____________ (ANOTHER MALE RELATIVE)'s either (which would have been almost as good!) It was a ____________ (GENDER, PLURAL, OPPOSITE OF MAN'S). I crouched into an ____________ (ORIGAMI SHAPE) in the ____________ (LONG NARROW HOUSEHOLD PASSAGE) WAY and listened.
"So Jake, you've done things with girls you say. But have you ever been with a woman?"
I gasped and leapt up. That ____________ (EXPLETIVE ENTAILING SKANKINESS), Mrs. Mitchell! No wonder her ____________ (AFOREMENTIONED PET ANIMAL) was in the driveway! It had followed her over here on her mission to seduce my little brother! I was so confused, so outraged, ____________ (QUALITY OF A PERFECTLY BAKED CUPCAKE, ANOTHER STATE THAT RHYMES WITH MANDY...) but I had to intervene... or maybe not. Her ____________ (ARTICLE OF CLOTHING) was slipping off faster than ____________ (SOLID DAIRY PRODUCT THAT ISN'T CHEESE AND RHYMES WITH GUTTER) on top of a stack of hot ____________ (INTENSE BREAKFAST CARBOHYDRATE). So we may have been more than just neighbours. And sure I may have ____________ (PAST TENSE VERB) a ____________ (NOUN) with her son. Okay, and his two older sisters.
And their cousin James. But my brother didn't turn 18 for a week! And come on, my family and I prided ourselves on being people of ____________ (ADJECTIVE) morals and ____________ (ADJECTIVE) standards!