Justin blinks and opens his mouth, about to say, �Are you sure?� But he snaps his mouth shut again, slightly chagrined about the idiocy of his question. Of course JC is sure, otherwise, he wouldn�t be sitting in front of Justin right now, blue eyes bright and knees bouncing in agitation. JC looks at Justin, waiting and dreading Justin�s reaction.

He must have heard incorrectly. Justin sticks a finger in his ear, seeing if he had temporarily hallucinated the moment.

JC laughs, a little sadly, at Justin�s bewildered state. He repeats himself. �Justin, I�m gay.�

JC is gay.

It isn�t that Justin doesn�t accept homosexuality or that he�s homophobic or anything. He is supportive of all types of sexual orientation. Love is love, after all. It is just weird to have your best friend, someone you�ve known for most of your life, to come out to you. It is surprising. It raises questions.

�Just� are you okay with this?�

�Yeah� yeah.� Justin says again, firmly. �Totally cool. I� just need time to think.�

JC nods. He understands. �Yeah. If you need to talk, I�m here.�

Justin laughs, lying back onto his mattress. JC watches him, a little amused and still a little worried, from the foot of the bed. �I�m supposed to tell you that,� Justin points out.

His friend shrugs, not saying anything.

�Who else knows?� Justin asks, staring at the ceiling.

�Well� me.� Justin hears the grin in JC�s voice, even without looking. �And you.�

�You told me first?� Justin sits up again.

JC looks uncomfortable. �Yeah. I think� it�s easier to tell you than like� my mom. You know? Anyway,� he adds, �I wanted you to know first.�

Justin nods. His mouth is burning with questions he wants answers to. How does JC know? Who did he� experiment with? Did it feel good? Justin is suddenly filled with awe and respect, even more than normally, for JC for being so brave. For having the courage to explore himself and his life, without limiting himself with fears of his public image. Climbing a mountain, skydiving� all that is nothing compared to what JC risks in declaring his sexuality. That takes true strength and bravery. With lives as public as theirs are, anything out of the ordinary was potentially a career-threatening move.

�I hope there aren�t any hidden cameras in your closet or anything,� JC comments suddenly, as if reading Justin�s thoughts. Justin can�t tell if JC is kidding or not.

Justin laughs. �Me neither.� He resists the urge to open the door and check.

�Are you seriously okay with this?� JC looks so uncertain. His hands fidget nervously with the hem of his shirt.

Justin smiles. �Absolutely.�

�You just look like� you�re thinking hard.�

�Don�t worry about me, Jayce. We�re always gonna be best friends. Brothers. It shouldn�t matter if you�re gay or straight or whatever.� Justin says those words as much for his own benefit as for JC�s.

JC looks relieved. His hands still. �Thanks, Just. You�re the best. I�m glad I told you first.� He gets up off the bed, about to head out the door.

�Where are you going?� Justin asks, even though he has a pretty good idea already.

�To tell the other guys.�

Which means Lance, Chris, and Joey. �Good luck,� Justin offers, in case JC needs to hear it. �But you won�t need it.�

�I know.� JC puts his hand on the doorknob. Hesitates.

�But if you do,� Justin continues, seeing JC�s pause and contradicting himself, �Call me and I�ll beat them up.�

JC laughs a little, knowing Justin is kidding -- but on a certain level, Justin is dead serious.

When JC leaves, Justin flops onto his bed again. Stares at the ceiling.

JC is gay.

Justin closes his eyes and tries to breathe evenly.

* * *

JC is eating cereal in the kitchen when Justin rings his doorbell. JC opens the door, clad in sweatpants that are too big for him and a T-shirt. He smiles when he sees Justin there. He runs a hand through his wild hair, which is sticking up in every direction.

�Hey man, what�s up?� he asks, stepping back to let Justin inside.

Justin shrugs off his jacket and hangs it on the back of the front door. �I was just wondering how things went yesterday.�

�Oh, about that,� JC grins as they head into the kitchen. �It was the weirdest thing. You want some cereal?�

Instead of answering, Justin opens up a cabinet and takes a bowl out, pouring the proffered cereal for himself while gesturing for JC to continue. �Yeah, so what happened?�

JC sits down at the kitchen island, picking up the bowl he had abandoned earlier. �Joey laughed and then he was serious. He was glad for me. Chris did basically the same thing. He said if I ever needed to talk, I could talk to him,� JC pauses. �And Lance nodded when I told him, like he knew all along.�

Justin grins around a mouthful of cereal and milk. �He�s perceptive like that.�

�Yeah.�

There is a silence, interrupted only by the hum of the refrigerator and the chirping of the birds outside JC�s window.

JC coughs. He goes to the sink, rinsing out his bowl. �So is there any other reason you wanted to come over?�

�Not really.� Justin shrugs, but the gesture is lost since JC has his back turned.

JC is wiping the scum off of the faucet with a sponge. He asks, �So how�s Britney?�

Justin doesn�t want to talk about her for some reason. �Fine.�

Hearing Justin�s tone of voice, JC nods and finishes scrubbing without saying anything more.

�You busy today? We can work on that song we started.� Justin doesn�t want to spend the day lounging around his home alone. Spending it with JC is better than that any day.

�Sure.� JC faces Justin and smiles.

Justin doesn�t know where to look. He turns his eyes away from JC�s and puts his bowl in the sink before leaving the kitchen. He hears JC following behind him and he tries not to think about the way JC�s sweatpants slipped a little too low on those trim hips.

* * *

�Shut up,� JC says for the fifth time that afternoon.

Justin can barely hold his grin back. �It sounds bad.�

�Shut up.� That makes the sixth time. Even despite his annoyance, JC is holding back a laugh too.

�Look, I�m not trying to be mean,� Justin says. He really isn�t. JC is good at music -- he makes great rhythms, great hooks, great melodies. The poor boy just can�t write good lyrics to save his life.

�I try!� says JC. He puffs out his lower lip in petulance. �I can�t help it if the words I use sound�� he winces, not wanting to say it.

�Bubblegum.�

�Shut up.� JC crosses his arms and turns away from Justin, facing the mixer instead.

Justin laughs, spinning JC�s chair around so he was looking at Justin again. ��Selfish� was really good,� Justin concedes, in a sign of peace. �It had beautiful lyrics.�

JC inclines his head regally. �I know.�

Justin laughs, pushing JC away. �Arrogant bastard.�

�Look who�s talking.�

�Ouch.� Justin falls into the other chair and feebly kicks at JC�s legs. He places his fist on his chest in a wounded gesture. �That hurt, right here.�

JC laughs finally and then sighs, staring at the ceiling of the studio, made out of what used to be JC�s den. �Do we ever get any work done?� he asks no one in particular.

�Sure,� Justin answers. �C�mon, we got the whole chorus and the hook done today. You can�t rush creativity. Plus, it�s not like we�re on a deadline or anything.�

�Right.� JC thumbs through the first few sheets of music, scrawled and scribbled on in a way that very few could understand. It has notes written in the margins in a made-up kind of shorthand that probably only JC and Justin can ever fully comprehend. After a moment, JC asks, �It�s not really that bad, is it?� He actually sounds uncertain.

�No.� The curly-haired singer avoids JC�s eyes. He shakes his head suddenly, getting out of the chair and heading back to the kitchen. Justin stretches, working the kinks out of his back from sitting down for so long. �Want some ice cream or something?�

JC blinks, surprised. �Wait, you say my lyrics suck and now you say they don�t?�

�They�re� sweet, JC. You�re sweet.� Justin doesn�t meet JC�s gaze. �You really believe those things you write.�

Before JC can even open his mouth to say anything in return, Justin leaves the studio.

* * *

Justin spoons out the last of the ice cream from his bowl. He lies on the sofa in front of JC�s television. JC sits on the floor, near Justin�s head.

�Well, that sucks.� JC�s sigh is exaggerated, but his disappointment is evident.

Justin shrugs. �So we�re not number one. Not the first time it ever happened.�

�Yeah, but I really like that video.�

�Doesn�t mean they�ll like it,� says Justin. �They� meaning the fans.

�You sound so nonchalant.�

�Number three is nothing to sneeze at.�

JC nods. �True.� Even so, he picks up the remote and clicks the television off, cutting the TRL host off in mid-sentence.

Justin lets the empty bowl sit on his stomach while he stretches his arms above his head. He rolls his shoulder. Scratches his neck. Scratches JC�s head.

�Yes, master?�

�I thought you fell asleep on me.� Justin traces his other hand�s forefinger around the edge of the bowl.

�No.� JC picks up his own bowl and eats the last of his ice cream.

Justin crosses his fingers and takes the plunge. �How�d you know you�re gay?�

As if on cue, JC coughs with the ice cream still in his mouth and almost spits it out. That would have been funny if Justin wasn�t being so serious. �Wha? What kind of question is that?�

�Like, how�d you know?�

�I�m not sure what you mean.�

Justin sighs loudly, frustrated and trying to explain without humiliating himself. �Who� how� did you?� He hopes JC will take the hint.

�Oh.� JC starts and pauses. �Oh.�

�You don�t have to tell me if you don�t want to.� Justin knows he sounds stupid. He wants to shoot himself in the head because there�s obviously nothing in there.

JC shakes his head. �No� no it�s okay.� JC sighs suddenly. �It�s kind of hard to explain.�

�I don�t want a labeled diagram, Jayce.� Justin swallows. He doesn�t, right? God, what was he asking for here?

His friend laughs weakly. �No� uh� that�s good, but I mean�� JC takes a breath. Begins again. �I just had feelings for someone. It bothered me for a long time. I think I kind of knew all along, but I didn�t put a label on it until now.�

�Who?�

�No one.� JC responds quickly. He stops again, looks frustrated. �I don�t mean, no one. It�s� it�s just not important who it is.�

Justin doesn�t know how to take that kind of answer. �No one? No one makes you realize you�re homosexual?�

�It�s hard to explain, Just.� JC rests his head back on the edge of the sofa. He looks tired. �It�s like the first time you saw that girl smiling at you from across the jungle gym. And you felt your heart beat faster because that smile made you happier than anything else ever did. You want to do anything to get her to notice you and smile at you again.�

�So� a guy smiled at you?�

JC turns to face Justin and narrows his eyes. But there�s a small smile tugging at his lips. �I didn�t mean it literally. I was trying to convey the feeling.�

�Oh.�

�Do you understand?� JC doesn�t sound condescending. He really wants Justin to understand.

�Yeah, I do.�

�Good.� JC gets up, taking his bowl from the floor and picking up Justin�s as well. As he is bending over Justin, JC kisses him quickly on the forehead. He leaves, going back toward the kitchen.

Justin touches his forehead and wonders why his heart is beating so fast. So fast.

* * *

�I�m not gay.�

Justin looks at his mirror in front of him. He makes a face at himself. He scrubs a hand through his wet curls, slick and clinging to his skin because of the shower he just took.

�I am not gay,� he repeats.

Justin goes to his window, staring up at the stars and the crescent moon the sky. The night is silent, no noise except the sound of the crickets in the grass. He wonders what JC is doing at his own house right now. Probably sleeping. JC looks so sweet when he sleeps.

�I AM NOT GAY!�

He�s really glad he has his window shut or otherwise those tabloids would have had a lot to write about in the morning. Sighing, Justin turns back and lies down on his bed. He feels the warmth, like JC�s lips when he kissed him. Warm like when JC laughed and when he smiled in that serene, knowing way of his. Justin feels the sheets beneath him, smooth and cool, like JC�s hands against his skin. Justin looks down, breaths coming quicker.

�Oh. Shit.�

He�s hard.

* * *

Justin comes in his hand, panting and remembering JC�s laugh, JC�s mouth, JC�s slim hips, JC�s skin, JC.

* * *

This time JC runs downstairs from the bathroom, toothbrush in hand and foam still flecking his mouth. He pulls the front door open just to stop the frantic pounding. �Wha� Just-in?� The last syllable is considerably higher in pitch as Justin grabs JC�s collar and kisses him.

Justin moans a little because JC tastes like mint toothpaste and Justin can imagine he tastes the strawberry ice cream JC ate yesterday. JC tastes like� JC. JC tastes like home.

JC exhales slowly when Justin lets him go, just a little. �Justin?� He sounds a little breathless.

�Am.. I? When you�?� Justin�s mind is too scrambled to form complete sentences. The questions bubble up from his brain but there�s too little time to string them together into the proper order.

JC understands him though. JC has always understood him. �Yes, you are.�

For a moment, there�s silence. Then Justin laughs and JC laughs too because they both knew all along.

JC kisses him this time and Justin�s knees can�t support him all the way through. JC�s hand is steady and strong against his back, catching him and keeping him upright.

�I love you.� Justin�s voice is soft.

�I love you too.�

�I�m gay, did I mention that?�

JC laughs.