All This Longing
and all this longing and all...
these dreams.
quench me! bathe me! please give me hope!
just saturate me in warmth, and i'll fly to it like sunlight through the clouds!
but it isn't fear that withstands my selfishness
and it isn�t rain that blocks my view of the garden of earthly pleasures...
its all this longing and all...
this pain!
hurts where i thought it could no longer, seeps into places unseen -
where it's still cold from winters long forgotten...
and i want to run!
i want to see your face
in the fields!
i want to believe again
in fairytales!
i want to be the one in the mirror, instead of the one who is standing
like a quivering child before the sacrifice...
(all i ever am
is this nakedness!)
and all this longing and all...
this love.
i have mountains to give, this soul of fire that erupted long ago
(from so many sacrifices!)
and i have churches and temples and bibles and prayers... all the drugs of the orient and all the sayings of the east...
right here in my belly, all here in my head.
but can you touch the invisible layer?
can you sense the rhythm inside?
there�s nothing but motion in the eyes of darkness...
nothing but sound in the night.
and if i cry, if i break and bleed and even die,
will it matter?
cause there is matter within the whole of the universe,
but who can actually see...
what isn�t really there?
and is my voice just a breath in autumn?
just another deadened branch in the giant collection of fallen leaves?
and i�m on the ground again
waiting to drift through the chilled afternoon...
past the innocent ones (with their sorely neglected shoelaces)
and the elderly who have understood much without understanding even more -
all to be taken...
home.
and all this longing and all...
this alone?
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