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| May the Wing's of your Dreams brush the Heavens. |
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| "The person who knows HOW will always have a job. The person who knows WHY will always be his boss." Diane Ravitch |
| Three-year-old dog Spitzerich wears a traditional Bavarian hat in Hailing, near the southern German town of Straubing. Hildegard Bergbauer designs traditional Bavarian dirndl and leather trousers known as Lederhosen and combined her profession with her love of animals in a new traditional collection for dogs. REUTERS / Michaela Rehle. |
| Bob stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his backswing. Finally, his exasperated partner, John asked, "What the hell is taking so long?" "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse balcony", Bob explained. "I want to make a perfect shot." "Good Lord," John exclaimed. "You don't have a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here." |
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| PRATTLE is a free publication. Send us your email address so we may add you to our mailing list. We do not sell or give out any information about our subscribers. |
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| SUMMER ISSUE AUGUST 2004 VOL. NO. 2, ISSUE NO. 10 |
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| We're back! Our audience became more and more of the graphics persuasion, so I decided to take PRATTLE in that direction, and in doing that, needed to bring myself up to speed at the same time. Only having two hands, I had to put PRATTLE on hiatus for a little while. Thank you for all your emails during that time. PRATTLE will still take a humourous approach and have tidbits concerning "this 'n that", trivia and oddball items. We will also continue to live up to our tag line, "much ado about nothing". In addition we plan to take a more aggresive approach towards graphics and the work of some of our subscribers. Watch for announcements and postings in future issues. If you have any questions in the meantime, please email me at: [email protected] |
| "much ado about nothing" |
| A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he sits, sobbing, by the rabbit with his head in his hands. A beautiful BLONDE woman driving down the highway sees the sobbing man by the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong? "I feel terrible, "he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the dead rabbit, bends down and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again; he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves and repeats this again and again, until he hops off out of sight. The man is astonished. He turns to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says .... Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave. |
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| SUSAN HAYWARD |
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| NEXT: Showcasing subscriber's work. Please contact me for submission guidelines. This is a free service: [email protected] |
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| But You Don't Want This Kind of Crash ... Jane was a computer savvy student, so the high school librarian called her to her office complaining of a computer crash. While booting up the computer, Jane asked her what she had done immediately prior to the crash. "I just erased some files that were taking up memory space," she replied matter-of-factly. "There was one big one that the Spanish teacher, Se�orita Dobias, must have put on there. I think it was called DOS." |
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| Prattle is a FREE publication |
| It is said that a child laughs 400 times a day on the average, while an adult laughs only 15 times each day; which is puzzling, since laughter feels so good and is so good for us! You may know the benefits of laughter on the mind and spirit, but are you aware of how much a good laugh can help you physically? Norman Cousins used to say that laughter is so beneficial physically that it is like "inner jogging." Mayo Clinic (Mayo Clinic Health Letter, March 1993) reports that laughter aids breathing by disrupting your normal respiration pattern and increasing your breathing rate. It can even help clear mucus from your lungs. Laughter is good for your heart. It increases circulation and improves the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to tissues throughout your body. A good laugh helps your immune system fight off colds, flu and sinus problems by increasing the concentration of immunoglobulin in your saliva. And it may help control pain by raising the levels of certain brain chemicals (endorphins). It is also a natural stress reliever. Have you ever laughed so hard that you doubled over, fell off your chair, spit out your food or wet your pants? You cannot maintain muscle tension when you are laughing! The good news is that you are allowed more than 15 laughs a day! Go ahead and double the dose and make it 30 times today. (You may begin to notice your relationships improving!) Then double it again! You are bound to feel better, you will cope with problems more effectively and people will enjoy being around you. Laughter: it's good medicine, it's completely organic, it can be shared, it is recyclable and it's absolutely free! |
| Hi Honey! A homemaker with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. Her six-year-old picked it up and said, "Hi, Daddy!" and she began telling him about her day. Then she passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work. When it was finally the wife's turn to talk, she took the receiver and said, "Hi, hon." "Thank God, lady," the voice on the other end replied. "I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!" |
| An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. |
| A friend of mine works in a busy office where a computer going down causes quite an inconvenience. Recently, one of the computers not only crashed, it made a noise that sounded like a heart monitor. "This computer has flat-lined!" a co-worker called out with mock horror. "Does anyone here know how to do mouse-to-mouse?" |