Viewpoints in Counterpoint

 

Lebanese

1 There is only one God. My God, that is, not yours.

2 Allahu Akbar. Nasrallahu Akbar. Fadlallahu Akbar. Hezbollahu Akbar.

3 Hezbollah are the heroes of the resistance against Israel and a nasty bunch  of thuggish terrorists who  want to make Lebanon an Islamic republic.

4 Get rid of all Moslems, Jews, Christians, Druzes and in fact anybody who isn't exactly like me and the world will be a better place all round.

5 Jews are Israelis. I don't know the difference, why should you?

6 Israelis are the enemy forever until they become our friends.

7 Why doesn't the rest of the world solve our problems for us?

8 How can I make money out of this?

9 Oh no! Not again!

10 Get me out of here!

 

Israeli

1 G_d is an estate agent. He gave us this land and will let us take as much more as we like.

2 I want peace and security but I must never appear weak by compromising one iota in order to achieve peace and security.

4 Get rid of all Arabs and the world will be a better place all round.

5  I wish America would invade Syria.

6  I wish America would invade Iran.

7  Remember the holocaust of 6,000,000 Jews. What's that about 20,000,000 Russians killed in WWII? Never heard of that before.

8 Stop the bombing. Let's live in peace with all our neighbours. Oh dear, I'm in a  10% minority.

9  What did I do wrong? It wasn't me, it was him.

10 When is a war not a war? When the Knesset says so.

 

Bush

1 Israel can do whatever it likes.

 

Blair

1 Yes, George.

 

The UN

1 A plague on both their houses.

2 More of our troops go into south Lebanon? Not bloody likely!

 

NATO

1 Our troops go into south Lebanon? Not bloody likely!

 

The EU

1 Our troops go into south Lebanon? Not bloody likely!

 

The Rest of the World

1 Who cares?

2 Well, let's have a peace march, then.

3 Oh look! Dead babies! Mass graves! Gruesome wounds!

 

God

1 Pity I made that promise about rainbows to Noah.