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Churches and Family Breakup (Some Are for It)

 

 

 

As I was surfing the web, I came across this post from a desperate man whose family was coming apart:  

Ame and my wife are getting a divorce, she doesn=t want to but her infidelty i can=t get passed. we have 3 kids, one who has autistic i was left by my dad because of my angry mother and i don=t want to just walk away from my kids i am giving her all my money and sleeping on a friends couch until i can figure out what to do i have no money for a lawyer. Where does a father go it=s been 3wks and i have not seen my kids. she tells my they don=t want to see me but i know that=s untrue i am the mom/dad cooking, cleaning pta outings everything while she=s having an affair with the pastor who married us. I have remain quite for my kids sake but last month while out of town with the kids visiting my mom we came home early and there in my driveway was his car i just pulled back out went to a pay phone told her i was 20 min away and went back  didn=t see his car i guess he must have got his stuff and ran  i went in put my kids to bed and packed and she started fighting crying let her explain she was breaking it off they were only talking and i just left. the next day went to work call to check on kids the numbers changed so after i got off i went by there the locks were changed i knocked she came out fighting, someone called the police, i went to jail for 4 days i can=t see or contact until court i want my full rights to my kids i don=t know where to turn i married for what i thought was forever who would have known i live in georgia i need all and every bit of advice, thanks to all who read  forever shall you be blessed,         

signed, please let me see my babies@        

Christianity, like America, has drifted a lot, especially over the last 30 years, and Christian churches, operating subtly to minimize men, can be one of the most effective instruments in family breakdown.

If you have trouble believing this, check out a very revealing book by Dr. Leon Podles, entitled The Church Impotent to see how organized Christianity is alienating men.

One of my LNCP members told me how his wife had started an affair with another man from her fundamentalist church at a time when the couple had three children.

When this husband, a Christian, approached the pastor there in an attempt to enlist his aid in restoring his marriage, the pastor, who hardly knew the man, reprimanded him for being Aabusive@ (she had told the pastor a story of abuse, although she herself had also been arrested for abuse in another state) and explained that his wife was now pregnant to the other man and would Ahave to marry her@.

The adulterous couple were married in the church after the divorce.

This church is the largest and richest in Lancaster County PA and is thought to be fundamentalist. However, they have a lonely hearts group that meets weekly, to which are invited divorced and separated people looking for partners. Instead of trying to reconcile the separated couples, they thus subtly suggest that they go ahead and get rid of their spouse and bring in the new paramour, regardless of the best interests of the children. Churches used to be genuinely concerned with the future of kids, counseling marriage partners to stay together for their sake. Now many have joined the feminist cultural change advocates and are subtly endorsing divorce.

Many men have told me stories of churches where their wives were able to convince the church elders that they were abusive and alienate these men from the flock. Instead of listening to both sides, the pastors or other leaders automatically side with the wife, treating the male as if he were a horrible beast, not making any meaningful attempt to understand the dynamics of their relationship. I have heard of child-abusive women who were given custody over the father with the full support of the church, which more-or-less ostracized the father and helped alienate him from his children.