Alright, i know i know, it's been like forever since i've written in this. I'm sorry. First of all,i've been sick for weeks, i haven't even been to school. I'm feeling better though avid readers, no worries.
Second of all, I've been spending alot of time with Jeremie, and all i can say is, I am so blessed to have him in my life.. He makes me so happy. Kinda the way jon did when we were just begining to go out. I hope this thing between Jer and i lasts. He really means alot to me. We do everything together. We went to go see RENT which i've been dying to see since i was 12!! I cried my eyes out. LOL. We're also going to be in the Brockville Production of OLIVER! We're nearly unseperable. Then there's Chase, he's nutty. A real cutie. He's our Tatoo/peircing guy. A real sweetheart.
Hm... whateles...
I have a new councelor. Her name is Maggie. shes a cutie. Um.. my kitten's are all gone now except one, which i named Hedwig. He's my baby. I love him to death.
I had a bad day yesterday. I had to go to school but i wasn't feeling good so i was all grumpy and dad had a coniption and bitched at me all morning. Then for no reason he started yelling at me. So i turned around and looked at him and said "Don't you dare yell at me. I don't deserve it!" Well you can imiagin how that ticked him off. Well, that is life. A BITCH!
The a big thing happend with Casey and i got all mad at her and didn't go to the fucking dance that i made her all up for..GAWD! LIFE SUCKS! I was so upset
November 2nd, 2002
All dad does is complain and talk shit about people. And he allways talks with gross words. Especialy about my cat. He allways says stuff like slut and cunt and gross things like that. I mean, i'm not a saint, but i don't use gross words like that. And when she was in heat, if you said her name she stuck her ass up in the air, it made me really uncomfortable. And i told him that, but he kept saying her name real pervy-like so she'd stick her ass up in the air.
And all he does is talk about himself. Even when i'm talking about one of my problems, he turns it into his issue, and starts talking about him, and how he hates this and that. i mean JESUS!! he's just so fucking annoying.
And another thing. My fucking tenants. I hate living with them. Especialy Garry. When he get's drunk, not alot but he did in the summer, he'd allways hit on me, and call me names like sexy and what not. It really grossed me out. And after the incidents with Jon and Jay, i'm so afraid of all the men i live with.
December 1st, 2002
Alright so it's been like a month, sorry again. It's not like i haven't had time to write in this, it's just slipped my mind. So what's been happening? Well, on the 8th of December it will be 6 months that i've been with Jeremie.
I've been really sick having everything from countless bladder infections to the croup. I finally got back to school that thursday but i'm feeling like shit again. It's almost christmas so i've been doing some shopping. My kitten's been growing like a bean. But he's still as adorable as ever.
What's been making me upset. Well, i started to get cabin fever and went crazy. I've gained so much weight i've decided to stop eating as of today. I know it's probably a really stupid decision, but i hate being fat. I've really wanted to cut but haven't which i guess goes to show i have some self-control. Yay me. My mom has started using me as a therapist again and my dad too, which is pissing the hell out of me. Little things about Jeremie upset me, like i feel he comes over for one thing, or how he jokingly calls me names, or how he doesn't love me. And now let me explain that... I didn't want to fall for him, it wasn't in my plans, but i sorta have, and he says he hopes i'm not in love with him, so i can't tell him how i feel. Now it's been almost 6 months and he's not in love with me which i find really odd because jon loved me and so did josh, and they said it after a really short time. Chase says he's probably afraid to show his feelings but what i don't get is that Jer is a very honest individual so i know he doesn't love me, but what i don't get is why not. Am i not pretty enough, is it my personality, is it my weight , my hair, my eyes, my face. What is it!? He said he " I love you to death but i'm sorry i'm not in love with you. Maybe in time..." <-- those were his exact words. I guess i can't force him. and i guess i'll just have to live with it, but i hate having such an impersonal relationship.
Feb 15, 2003
I know I know... Renee has lost her will to write in her pathetic journal. ;) Actually, i've been really busy with OLIVER! play. I play a whore and a booze wench, very noble proffesions. LOL
I also got a job. I work at the Keystorm, it's a local pub. I work there with Casey as a coatcheck girl. So basically, it's a dead end job and i get pain in tips. But meh! Money is money right?
A few ad notes, My god mother Irene passed away. RIP. The week before christmas too, I was very shocked and i was really sad, but i know now that she's no longer in pain with her Cancer.
Also, Jeremie and i broke up. It was his idea, and i suppose it would have been mine in the not too distant future aswell.It's a little hard to adjust because he still kisses me and hugs me, so it's really hard for me to move on.
Hm... what eles, uh, My mom sent overmy bes from her house. So i can finally get a good night's sleep.
I'm also a part-time student at BCI, so i have no reasons to fail this smester.
So anyways, life goes on as usual for Renee, and she promises to TRY and keep this journal going.
Blessed Be!
April 9th, 2003..
ALRIGHT!! I've CONFORMED!! I have a livejournal now, so no more taking hours to load this fucking geocities page builder fuck nut.
ANYWAYS... to get to my livejournal... click here ----> Living Dead Gurl!!
I'll be putting links around my site to my live journal so you don't need to come here evertime you wanna read it