it became a short story in itself as i wrote more parts to it...or rather an unplanned tale in the same lingering format +bmc+
[murder in blue]
[stalking my sin and shadow]
~ musae camena ~
I found you in a parked car
buried under snow and glass
and I am never comming back
so I will chew out a rhythm
and riff out on my guitar
with my bony, pale fingers
looking out at the darkness
past my window's edge
so I found your body in the trunk
twisted and defiled
dressed as a flapper
the spark of you gone
the hint of you gone out
your remaining self
a shattered facet of what you are
the snow drifting down to touch you
snow fall
tear fall
and I watch the darkness
shifting and shaping you
the trunk, a box about you
cradling what you were
I make my way out across the lot
with memories of your life
I make my way out across town
on bare foot
with memories of my life
I shake my way up across the sky
without conviction or restriction
my instincts shaken
as I look down upon your face
your torn body in my arms
I realize for the first time
that I am holding you
in the embrace of my thinning limbs
a tree holding aloft a broken
house of stars and charisma
my heart again festers and breaks
knowing I have you here with me
but you are gone without me
so I tumble across the full plane
that is moon lit
with a cold serpentine glass
covering the stiffened grass
I lay you here and go to my work
your body flopped
outstretched
facing the starlet sky
of darkness and unlinked pinpricks
cold
I shape a circle about you
as I watch your fallen vessel
a little frame like mine
pale gashed skin
the shock of your raven locks
tumbled over your closed
passive eyelids
I dig in glyphs and symbols
into the earth around you
with sticks and rocks
I shape the circle
you lie
and stare through closed lids
at the unlinked sky
as I start your body on fire
your dress it burns
your hair it burns
your bare feet burn to cinders
as the glyphed circle glows
the ground grows soft
as your ashes fill the sphere
and your bones dwindle to dust
my back to you
my eyes on the sky
the unlinked pin pricked sky
where the darkness grows deeper
as dawn begins to shout behind me
where you are burning
I pick myself up
off the crystal grass and walk away
leaving you burning to dust
my heart is heavy
as is the cold air
my hands go for my pockets
as I tumble back across the landscape
my shoes on the ground
where I burned my muse to ashen fill
hoping twilight reincarnates
the death I know I have become
I stride back to the lot
and bury myself in that parked car
under snow and glass
locked in the trunk
of eternal night
_____________________
~ II musae camena ~
[murder in blue]
shrouded in my fading blue
that is now turned over into
the colours of rain
I think of what I have done
I ponder what I found
and why I burned it down
my black haired muse
now ashen fill
only dust in my head
filling up the void there
I remember her dead little body
my cold arms my limbs
stretched around her
but I am sitting now
with my back to the wall
watching the sky
dressed in rain
I remember long nites
of sleeplessness
huddled in myself
just talking with my muse
raven locks and gravel talk
but I am heading back down the river
to where my shadow lies laughing
for it killed my heart & passions
and I am never coming back
my broken fingers
lacing up my well tread sneakers
I have lost my shadow in the shroud
in a darkened forest
of charcoal stick trees
I have lost both my shadow
and the muse that could
drive me on to find it
and take back
take revenge
on the thing inside me
that killed me
_____________________
~ III musae camena ~
[stalking my sin & shadow]
I crash through the window in the mire
the forest dark about me
my staff and star
my shelter and propeller
crushing leave and twig underfoot
and searching wildly for my shadow
I reach a clear and in that space
my billowess shadow lies
just down the river from my heart
my shadow quells and conquers the clear
and I move about it
throught the tree line
making my way nearer
to its velvet skin
So I move through the tumble
of brush and brawn
lurking on the fringe
pondering what the raven
on its wing thinks
my shadow is all about me before I realize
and I am swallowed by my darkness whole
in lock and shocks of plasma & ink
and in the tumble of its belly
I find I am resting on my knees
across from crate and stool
staring into the mouth
of my mirror as it speaks
'I did that', it breathes
'I did that thing to our muse'
I breahe
'and you'll never know why
I wanted to be her so badly'
my shadow talks
as it stalks its memories of myself
the cavern nothing but darkness
short of breath and light
'why couldn't you just make me her?
why did I have to take her essence to my swell?
why could I just not be her?'
I reply
' you are two separate things
one that billows and effects
another that focuses and projects'
a howl of anguish
my shadow crys
it moves to slight me
but I best it with my staff and propeller
through its mirrored perfection
into its darkened heart
my shadow falls and
falters to the ground
the body of the cloak expanding
with shrieks of flame
turning itself to timber and dust
and I am unwelcome in you house
I watch the carcass burn and rot
into a stone bread husk
it lays just beneath my stupor
I touch its brittle skin
and it hushes away
falling as children fall underpressure
And down inside that creamy dusty husk
I see a raven shock of hair
parted in the sea of ash
shifting pale-moon skin
and downy black dress
laying nestled
in the ash of my shadow
the devourer
I reach into the cracking shell
cavernous as the forest
we are laying in
I pull out my little muse
and hold her abreast to me
kinders and ashlings
flecked on her face
her quiet upturned face so dormant
yet her heart beats
as mine rushes past
and the drops from the sky fall
as I cover her down
with my wing & off shot feather
the rain it makes a puddle
in the ash of my shadow
and turns inky black
spilling upwards
my shadows rise
and I walk down the trodden path
the way I came
now with my passion at my side
in the crook of my arms
_____________________
