Warnings: Bad, bad things that no good citizen should follow. And Hisoka’s the one who’s doing it. Yes, Hisoka. That deserves a warning in bright red capitals.

 

Chapter Three

 

            Hisoka tried his best to ignore the brunet walking next to him. In fact, he did his best to ignore everything in the vicinity.

 

            Closing his eyes, he struggled with the memories of only two nights ago. When the drunkard had tried to grab him…

 

            The clothes he was wearing now didn’t do anything to ease his fears either. In fact, if anything happened right now, he could only say that he was asking for it. He felt so vulnerable, so helpless. And he told Tsuzuki that he could handle this, he couldn’t back down now…

 

            Hisoka started as he was swathed within something soft and warm.

 

            Emerald eyes blinked in surprise as Tsuzuki rearranged the folds of the black trench coat on his shoulders.

 

            Tsuzuki merely continued with his movements, making them appear almost casual. “I brought this along in case you might get cold in only…that.”

 

            Hisoka couldn’t bring himself to form an answer.

 

            Even as Tsuzuki took his hand and started leading him down the street, he didn’t say anything.

 

            Not even to call the man an idiot.

 

***

 

            Tsuzuki studied the sleazy characters on the street, unconsciously tightening his hold on the hand in his whenever those disgusting ruffians paused to leer at the pair.

 

            Hisoka was strangely quiet. Tsuzuki was half-expecting him to call him a baka for making the decision to hold his hand this way. He knew that Hisoka hated the idea of being dependent on anybody, but the boy looked so…lost.

 

            Don’t leave me alone; I don’t want to be alone anymore…

 

            If you can’t live for anything else, at least live for me.

 

            Please…

 

            // To live for somebody…

 

               To exist for Hisoka… //

 

            Tsuzuki smiled to himself.

 

            // Maybe I can do that.

 

            Because I like the feeling of being needed…

 

            And the knowledge that someone will always be there for me. //

 

***

 

            When they finally reached the entrance of the club, Hisoka handed the coat back to Tsuzuki.

 

            Tsuzuki frowned, but didn’t press the issue. They had to look the part of regular patrons, after all.

 

            Hisoka mumbled something incomprehensible.

 

            “What?” Tsuzuki asked.

 

            “Thank you,” Hisoka muttered while resolutely refusing to meet Tsuzuki’s eyes.

 

            “Oh.” It was too dark to be certain, but he could just picture Hisoka’s blush.

 

            Tsuzuki smiled.

 

***

 

            Hisoka rubbed his temples in a futile attempt to prevent an impending headache.

 

            He hadn’t realized that being in one small place with so many people would be so…so…

 

            So oppressive.

 

            Just being in the club for a simple matter of minutes was enough to expose him to the assault of the never-ending thoughts and emotions from other humans.

 

            And naturally, the thoughts of people who actually came to place like this were far from decent.

 

            He had spent the first fifteen minutes doing nothing but sitting in the corner with Tsuzuki and strengthening his mental shields.

 

            “Better?” Tsuzuki asked anxiously.

 

            Hisoka nodded. He had managed to tune the initial mayhem of emotions down to a low buzz, something that resembled an irritating bee humming endlessly in his ears. Given a little more time, he was sure he could get rid of the headache as well.

 

            The worry in Tsuzuki’s eyes receded, but he still radiated mild waves of gentle concern.

 

            Even in their secluded corner, both of them had attracted the eyes of other customers. That annoyed Tsuzuki to no end.

 

            Hisoka was starting to get acquainted to those people’s intentions, though. They still disgusted him, but they don’t send him into a full-blown panic the way they had the other day.

 

            It gave him a sense of accomplishment.

 

            After all, come to think of it, these people were a far cry from Muraki. And he didn’t really freak out whenever he met that particular psychotic doctor. Well, not exactly, anyway.

 

            There’s another one right now. This one seems to be showing an unhealthy interest in Tsuzuki. Carefully, Hisoka started methodically searching his mind.

 

            Nothing of interest, this one seemed to be concentrating on how great Tsuzuki looked in a sleeveless shirt, particularly noticing how Tsuzuki’s muscles moved when he shifted, the way his fitting jeans outlined the contour of his legs, the manner in which his shirt clung to his chest…

 

            Crash.

 

            Hisoka almost jumped out of his seat. A serving girl started apologizing profusely while hastily cleaning up the shattered remains of the glasses from her tray.

 

            Hisoka suddenly realized just exactly what line of thought he was following just now.

 

            And it definitely wasn’t his own.

 

            The man in question was still ogling Tsuzuki.

 

            Not that Hisoka blamed him, he certainly wasn’t the first, and he had ample reason. After all, Tsuzuki did look gorgeous in that hugging shirt, somewhat reminiscent of the outfit that he wore occasionally on the Queen Camellia.

 

            Hisoka gagged, suddenly realizing what he was thinking.

 

            He had allowed himself to get caught up so deeply in the other man’s thoughts that he was starting to have them himself.

 

Good. The man was leaving. In fact, he couldn’t seem to leave quickly enough. Tsuzuki obviously had very effective ways of making his displeasure clear.

 

Hisoka heaved a sigh of relief. Just for a moment back then…

 

He was not going to think about it.

 

Of course, Tsuzuki had to ask why he was blushing all over for no reason at all.

 

Hisoka gave the elder man one of his perfected glares.

 

Luckily, Tsuzuki was wise enough to shut up.

 

***

 

            “I think I’m fine enough to go over to the counter.” Hisoka got up and started making his way through the crowd. 

 

            Finally finding a seat, Hisoka sat down and ordered a glass of beer. This was the first place he had ever been to that served alcohol to sixteen-year-olds as a matter of course. Not that he had any real thoughts about drinking all of it, of course. The last time had been embarrassing enough.

 

            Tsuzuki joined him on the seat next to his and put in his order. And struck up a lively conversation with the waiter while he was at it.

 

            Hisoka lifted his glass to his lips…and met Tsuzuki’s warning eyes. He gave the older Shinigami a flat stare and started taking very, very cautious sips from the glass. He had experimented with this before, and he supposed that he would be able to hold down a little of the beer. Besides, it would look suspicious if he didn’t really drink anything. Of course, he was also getting the kicks out of it. But that was beside the point.

 

            With the way Tsuzuki was watching him, he doubted that he had the opportunity to get drunk anyway.

 

            “Hi, I’m Ashihei,” a voice came from beside him.

 

            Hisoka looked up from his glass to see a boy around his age, with shoulder-length hair, dark eyes and the funkiest earrings imaginable. His clothes weren’t anywhere near as revealing as Hisoka’s own, though. Hisoka made the hundredth mental note since the last hour to fully throttle Saya and Yuma when he got back.

 

            “Hisoka,” he answered. Again, he started tentatively probing the boy’s mind.

 

            There didn’t seem to be any need for that, though.

 

            The boy was already eyeing him over very openly.

 

            “Wanna dance?” he asked.

 

            Hisoka was at a lost as to what he was supposed to do. The thought of dancing didn’t sit very well with him. First off, he had no idea of dancing at all. Second, he might be able to sit here and study the people around him without disastrous effects to his empathy, but to actually go out among them…

 

            But teenagers come to places like this for that purpose, right? Would it seem out of place if he rejected the offer? His social experience in life was little to nothing, and it certainly didn’t prepare him for something like this. Maybe he should accept it. The boy might have some friends that know something about the case…

 

            Tsuzuki took away the decision from him.

 

            “No, he’s with me.”

 

            Hisoka realized his mouth was hanging open and hurriedly shut it. He hoped he wasn’t blushing over Tsuzuki’s words, which actually meant nothing at all.

 

            // Right, // he reminded himself, // nothing at all. // And now was not the time to berate Tsuzuki over it.

 

            Meanwhile, the boy sneered at Tsuzuki. “No harm done in letting your partner dance with someone else for a while, is there? Right, Hisoka?”

 

            “Just. Leave. Him. Alone,” Tsuzuki repeated, emphasizing every single word.

 

            The boy opened his mouth to retort, but took a few steps backward instead at the look on Tsuzuki’s face. Suddenly remembering some urgent matters elsewhere, he left in a hurry.     

 

            Hisoka fixed Tsuzuki with one of his patented death glares.

 

            “How are we supposed to find out anything if you keep chasing away every person that approaches us? We’ve been sitting here for gods know how long without learning a thing!” Hisoka suddenly remembered that if he didn’t learn anything today, he was going to have to come back tomorrow, and maybe the day after, and most possibly the day after that as well. In fact, the ‘days after’ were starting to create a very long mental list. The idea didn’t appeal to him at all. And the first reason, albeit the pettiest one, is that ‘I’d have to dress up in these damn clothes again’.

 

            Tsuzuki looked offended. “Why don’t you just sit around while I do the investigating?”

 

            If they weren’t in public, Hisoka would have stomped him flat.

 

            “If you need a reminder, we’re dealing with teenagers,” he hissed softly, “I think you’re long past that stage.”

 

            To his surprise, Tsuzuki turned away. “I know…it’s just that…I don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

            Before Kyoto, Hisoka would have yelled at the man for being an idiot and treating him like a child. But now…he found himself oddly touched.

 

            Maybe it was because he now knew how truly vulnerable Tsuzuki was, the fact that his partner remained so protective of him moved him.

 

            He found his anger rapidly subsiding.

 

            “We do have to finish this assignment, you know,” he said with a sigh. Why did he always end up giving in to the other?

 

            Tsuzuki was silent for moment. “No dancing,” he said finally.

 

            Hisoka blinked. Really, the way Tsuzuki jumped from one thought to another…

 

            “Fine,” he agreed, “As long as you don’t get in the way when I try to talk to others.”

 

            Tsuzuki had his wounded puppy-look on now. “But I'm only worried!”

 

            “If I have to come back tomorrow…” Hisoka left the sentence hanging, but the threat was visible enough.

 

            “Hai…as long as you don’t anything but talk.”

 

            Hisoka rolled his eyes. What else could he do?

 

***

 

            Hisoka sat down at the table with another three teenaged boys. Tsuzuki didn’t object to this, since it seemed reasonably safe. Right now, the brunette was talking to another customer, and somehow keeping an eye on him as well.

 

            “Do you come here often?” he asked one of the boys, who had introduced himself as Eiji.

 

            “Quite,” Eiji answered, “Your first time here? Haven’t seen you around before.”

 

            Hisoka nodded. 

 

            “This club isn’t bad, plenty of people, drinks, not too expensive. Right, Hiroji? Koyo?”

 

            The other two boys agreed.

 

            Hisoka decided to take this as an opening.

 

            “But some of the people who came here went missing, didn’t they? Killed, I heard.”

 

            Hiroji looked at him quizzically. “Yeah, seen those before. So? Happens all the time around here, anyway.”

 

            While he said this, Hisoka diverted his efforts into sensing his thoughts. There didn’t seem to be anything suspicious. The boy was really indifferent to the recent events.

 

            “One of those was Koichi, wasn’t he?” Eiji asked Hiroji.

 

            “Yeah…”

 

            “You knew one of them personally?” Hisoka pressed. Maybe he’ll learn something after all.

 

            “Nah, just had a few words with him,” Eiji shrugged, “Besides, why do you care anyway?”

 

            “No, merely curious.” Eiji didn’t sound suspicious, but it wouldn’t do to put them on their guard.

 

            Eiji took a swig of his liquor. He grinned. “What’s so interesting about corpses? Why don’t you tell us more about yourself?”

 

            Hisoka barely stifled a yelp when he felt a hand on his thigh.

 

            Trying to find a way out of the situation, he knocked his glass off the table, spilling all the contents onto Eiji, who jumped up with a curse.

 

            “Oh! Sorry, I’m really sorry…”

 

            Eiji smoothed out his pants, an irritable frown on his face.

 

            “Never mind, it’s ok.” Regardless of his words, the frown intensified into obvious displeasure.

 

            Hisoka could barely prevent himself from scowling. What? Is it his fault that he didn’t like people groping him at every turn?

 

            Eiji retuned to his seat with annoyance and frustration rolling off him in waves. Hisoka had already grabbed the chance to shift his chair out of his reach. No point in taking another chance. This brought him a lot closer to Koyo, though. He started wondering if Koyo would do the same.

 

            Hiroji pulled something out of his pocket and offered it to him. Hisoka took it and glanced down at his hand to see a small white pill.

 

            Great. Now it turns out that these guys are on drugs as well.

 

            “Sorry, I don’t want this…”

 

            Eiji narrowed his eyes. If he wasn’t suspicious before, he definitely was now.

 

            “Why? That’s what people come here for. Drinks you can find anywhere, but this is rare. Are you…”

 

            “No. I didn’t mean that. I don’t have much money now, and I can’t afford to pay for this.” Hisoka immediately tried to cover up his slip. This wasn’t going well, not at all.

 

            Eiji seemed to accept that explanation. “You can have this for free.” His eyes started to roam. Hisoka resisted the urge to punch. “Because you’re hot.”

 

            They were all looking at him now, obviously expecting him to swallow it. Hisoka had absolutely no intention of doing that. It’s drugs, for crying out loud. But if he didn’t, he was going to blow his cover.

 

            Why did the government ban drugs anyway? Because it’s harmful to a person’s health. But since he’s technically dead, health shouldn’t matter that much.

 

            And Shinigami had curative abilities. So any damage done to his body should be healed without any lasting problems. Yes, that made perfect sense.

 

            So why was he hesitating?

 

            Finally reaching a conclusion, he decisively took a gulp of his drink and swallowed the pill.

 

            He was completely unprepared for the sensations that assaulted him.

 

            The first word that came to mind was ‘ecstasy’. He felt so free, no worries, no pain…just freedom.

 

            Closing his eyes, he attempted to grasp what little wits he had left. All his weariness and fatigue from the day’s activities might as well have not existed.

 

            Even his empathy was off the hook. He vaguely noticed that he had let down his mental shields completely, but he didn’t care. He was so delirious right now that the onslaught of emotions and feelings didn’t bother him at all.

 

            In fact, he didn’t care about anything anymore.

 

***

 

            Tsuzuki looked over to where Hisoka was worriedly. He knew that Hisoka was capable of taking care of himself, but he couldn’t help feeling protective of the boy. If anything ever happened to Hisoka…

 

            His violet eyes widened in shock as they fell onto his younger partner.

 

            Hisoka was laughing along with the other boys. True, Hisoka wasn’t as closed-up as he used to be…but this?

 

            Tsuzuki then noticed that Hisoka wasn’t laughing in the way one would if he were truly happy. His laugh seemed like something without feeling, the way a person would sound if he was totally oblivious to his surroundings.

 

            And Hisoka’s eyes seemed dazed. It was hard to be certain in the dim light of the club, but those emerald green eyes, once so clear and vivid, were now reduced to a hazy, murky green.

 

            That sent off ringing bells in Tsuzuki’s head. Was Hisoka drunk? But he didn’t look and act like the last time he was drunk. Hisoka was the kind that passed out immediately if he had too much to drink.

 

            Suddenly Tsuzuki noticed that one of the boys was creeping closer, closer, and closer…

 

            The boy ran a hand down Hisoka’s cheek, and…

 

            Hisoka didn’t do anything to stop him.

 

            The boy’s hands didn’t stay on Hisoka’s face, either.

 

            Lower, and lower…

 

            Almost mindless with fury, Tsuzuki leapt up from his seat, almost knocking over the person next to him in the process.

 

            Tsuzuki stalked over to where Hisoka was. Whatever it was that possessed Hisoka’s mind, it wouldn’t do at all.

 

            In fact, it was downright unacceptable. 

 

***

 

            Hisoka looked up numbly. He still felt detached, somewhat disconnected. He tried again to puzzle out his feelings, and finally gave up. Whatever it was, it felt good. And the elation was the only thing he could focus on right now.

 

            Someone was touching him. He couldn’t really make out who it was. As the touch moved lower, Hisoka’s mind dully registered that he didn’t want this. He didn’t want to be touched in this way, and he should do something to stop it.

 

            But he couldn’t.

 

            And the touch continued…

 

            Hisoka felt himself being jerked roughly to his feet.

 

            There were voices. They seem to be coming from somewhere far off. Somebody’s yelling. That voice sounded decidedly familiar. Where had he heard it before?

 

            “Hisoka? Hisoka!?”

 

            Somebody’s shaking him.

 

            “Hisoka!!!?”

 

            His name…being repeated in that voice again. Hisoka decided that he liked the sound of it. The way that person said it…

 

            The world’s spinning round and round…everything’s fading…

 

            “Hisoka!!!”

 

            As darkness overcame his vision, Hisoka finally remembered whose voice it was.

 

            He liked the way his name sounded in that voice.

 

            // Tsuzuki… //

 

***

 

            Tsuzuki lay the unconscious boy down on the bed carefully. Drugs. If he hadn’t been so angry, he would have laughed at the absurdity of it. Hisoka actually took drugs. Nobody would have believed it.

 

            But then, Hisoka would have done it if he saw the necessity of it. Hisoka frequently did the most taxing things, always looking for a way to prove himself, so that people wouldn’t think of him as a child.

 

            He was always pushing himself over the limit, reluctant to display any weakness…

 

            // Hisoka, you don’t have to do this, not in front of me. //

 

            Tsuzuki absently brushed away a few strands of that wheat-coloured hair from Hisoka’s face. As always, Hisoka looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, with none of that frustration or aloofness that he showed in the day.

 

            Tsuzuki pulled back in surprise when Hisoka’s eyelids fluttered open, revealing hazy jade-green eyes that gazed at him unsteadily.

 

            A slender hand lifted itself to the air, searching for something to grasp. Tsuzuki took it in his own.

 

            “Tsuzuki…” Was Hisoka conscious? Or was he merely sleep-talking? Even though his eyes were opened, his words were heavily slurred, sounding as if he were muttering them in a dream.

 

            Those emerald eyes blinked, trying to focus even as they threatened to snap shut.

 

            “Purple…purple eyes…”

 

            Another hand lifted itself to touch Tsuzuki’s cheek, somewhere just below his right eye. Tsuzuki closed his eyes as that hand moved itself over his eyelids.

 

            “Purple…so pretty…”

 

            “Like an…”

 

            Tsuzuki never knew what Hisoka had meant to compare him to, because at that very moment, Hisoka’s eyes fluttered shut as their owner fell into a deep dreamless slumber.

 

            Tsuzuki brought a hand to his own cheek, running his fingers over the places where Hisoka touched, then bringing them down to softly caress Hisoka’s face.

 

            //Sleep well, Hisoka. // 

 

***

 

-- Just to make clear, I am firmly against drugs (waves an anti-drug campaign banner) and am not promoting drugs in any way. I do not know what it feels like to consume drugs, so I’m basing this off my imagination and a bunch of total crap. The whole thing is probably inaccurate, so please do not yell at me over it.

-- I don’t know if Hisoka is a little OOC (is he?), but if anyone feels that he’s a little out of character, it’s because…um…the only reason is that I’m messed up. I wanted to portray his vulnerability, but then it seemed to me that he went off into the weak uke side, so I try to bring him back, and ended up with him being a stubborn headstrong teen. Uh…curse my terrible writing skills. And I supposed all of you are telling me to shut up, since nobody’s interested in reading this anyway. Fine…

-- Special note to Val-chan ^^ (if you bother to scroll down that far, that is), I wrote this during 4 in the morning. Repeat: 4 a.m., so I’m aware that the whole chapter is filled to the brim with grammatical errors. Sorry! It was written during Valentine’s Day, because I felt like it, plus I wanted to write something on the occasion, so this chapter is completely fucked-up, due to the fact that my eyes are puffy and closing right now, and unlike Hisoka, I don’t have Tsuzuki to put me to bed. How unfair. (pouts)

 

Chapter Four

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