During the beginning of my senior year, I felt God drawing me closer to Him; but at the time I didn't really know it was God leading me. I desired to go to prayer Wednesday mornings at the high school and to a local youth ministry--The Lakewood Youth Center--Wednesday nights. My motivation at the time was to go and be with my friends. I had also seen a difference in my sister and closer friends around me that was a attractive. There just seemed to be a peace and a joy that just seemed to emanate from them. I wanted to see what the difference was.
I went to both things pretty much every week. I think looking back on all of it. I grew closer to Him; but I still didn't know Him as Savior. I was being taught that I had to ask for forgiveness and ask Jesus into my heart just to become a Christian and be saved; but my prideful, stubborn heart refused to budge. I remember one Wednesday night that was a time of testimony, prayer, and worship. A friend of mine, Thom, stood up and gave a little bit of his testimony and also encouraged others to give theirs. He said that everyone who is a Christian has a story to tell, the story about when they were saved. I remember thinking when he said that that I couldn't think of a time when I asked Jesus into my heart. What he said really got me thinking.
It wasn't until April 3, 1998 that I finally surrendered my life to Christ. It was the friday night of Acquire the Fire in Lansing, MI. I became so on fire for Christ after that one night. Even though I went to the convention that weekend with the motivation of hanging out with friends, I left with a heart ablaze for Christ. I praise God that He took that stubborn girl of 18 and changed her into a woman that earnestly seeks after God.
Of course after that, I struggled still at times with strongholds and sin in my life--I still do--but the difference is is that each time I struggle, I have a Savior who is there to help me, restore me, and forgive me. There have been times in my life where I have questioned God and gotten angry at Him for things that happened to me, like the death of my father and other things that are recent and not so recent in my life. I have felt like Job in the bible at times, wondering why this was happening to me. Then the Lord would tell me, "Remember, I AM the one in control. I AM the one that created the heavens and earth. I AM the one that created you. Be still and know that I AM GOD. And, my child, remember, I love you, and always will." Then He would always remind me of Romans 8:28, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." I am a witness to this. He does bring good out of the bad and tragic things in life. I don't understand really all the reasons why bad things happen; but God doesn't call us to understand the reasons why. He just asks us to know Him, believe Him, and understand that He is who He says He is. (Isaiah 43:10)
If anyone who is reading this realizes that my story is similar to yours and you realize that you can not recall a time that you asked Jesus into your heart, please, do not delay any longer. Ask Him into your life right now. Don't waste 18 years or more of your life trying to figure life out on your own. Don't think that by being good or going to church will get you to heaven because it won't. I've been there, and there is no true satisfaction in doing good for others if you do not have Christ in your life. God's Word says that all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. Sin is anything that we do that is wrong in the eyes of God. To know what is wrong, read God's Word. God's Word also says that the only way to heaven or to God is through His Son Jesus Christ. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Jesus came to earth and died and rose again 2000 years ago so that we could have eternal life with Him. His blood on the cross is an atonement for our sins. God's Word says that the only way we can be forgiven of our sins is by the shedding of blood. Christ died on the cross and shed His blood all because He loves us. He didn't deserve to die because He had done no wrong thing His whole time on earth. He was perfect. That is why His blood redeems us. If He had sinned just one time on earth, He would have been just another crazy man dying for His beliefs. His death would have been in vain. The most amazing thing though is that three days later, He rose from the dead conquering death once and for all. He lives!!! Praise God! He has made a way for all of us. What He is asking of you is to confess your sins, ask for forgiveness of your sins and turn away from sin, and then ask Him to come into your heart and to be your Savior. I pray that each and everyone of you that reads this will come to know Him as Savior as I know Him. God Bless you.