Updated: October 5, 2003
When I first saw the opportunity to write to someone regarding my story, I thought that the hardest part would be to put the most painful experience of my life into words. As my thoughts started racing, I realized that it would be just as hard to put my story down into a short format without leaving out vital information regarding my case. I shall do my best.
I am a 37 year old non-custodial mother of a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. I also have a 19 year old daughter who lives with me. I have not seen nor spoken to my two youngest children in 2 years, 9 months and 14 days.
My case started in 1993. My son was not quite four years old and my daughter was two. My ex-husband and I separated, and I received custody of the children through the Sacramento County courts in Sacramento, California. My case number is 93FL4208.
I am ashamed to say that after a brief reconciliation with my ex-husband, I allowed him to take our young children back to his home state of Texas. It was only to be a temporaray arrangement until my ex-husband found employment. I was the only one working at the time, but I was not making a sufficient amount of money to pay for living expenses and daycare.
My ex-husband obtained employment in his uncle's law firm. I asked for the children to be returned...my ex-husband refused. I was so naive regarding the court system. I didn't know whom to contact. I had no attorney and no money for one. Time and money were both on my ex-husband's side.
After finally obtaining council and getting a court date, eleven months had passed. The courts gave my ex-husband physical custody of our children. I received very liberal visitation (all summer, every spring and winter break).
A couple of years passed with small disagreements in and out of court. The important thing was that both my ex-husband and I were sharing the children per the court ordered parenting plan. This parenting plan was something that he and I both sat down (with his attorney) and agreed to. Then a horrible thing happened. My ex-husband began to date a woman who was (and still is) controlling, jealous and worst of all...abusive.
My visitation in California with the children was all of a sudden a "problem". My ex-husband became mean and uncooperative. It was time to go back to court.
