Disease of the Day!!

9-17-03 - I added this disease because, if you've been a regular reader of my journal, you'd remember that a few days ago or so I had a nasty case of sweaty palms for no reason.  I was just sitting around the apartment all afternoon/evening and my palms wouldn't stop sweating.  At least it's a real condition:

Palmar hyperhidrosis or excessive hand sweating is the most common and troublesome form of hyperhidrosis. People with palmar hyperhidrosis have cold and clammy hands that sweat excessively. Hand sweating can be initiated by emotional distress, nervousness, stressful situations and anxiety. Excessive sweating could also be seen with no stimulus.

Sweaty hands may also be associated with excessive sweating syndrome consisting of palmar hyperhidrosis, sweaty armpits, sweaty face or sweaty feet. However the most common combination is sweaty palms and sweaty feet. Symptoms usually start in early teens and continue through entire life.

Palmar hyperhidrosis affects every aspect of one’s life. People become constantly aware of this problem and try to hide it from others. Affected people cannot control their hand sweating, which can also be aggravated by emotional distress. Many patients feel a tingling sensation and think their skin pores are opening prior to the onset of sweating. 

Just so you know, I'm not effected by any of these other symptoms, just the sweaty palms for no reason.  And even that only happened that one time (and then last night again).   I'm not a freak!

7-14-03 - Today's disease is called Gerstmann's Syndrome.  This is the diagnosis given to some people who are very, very dim-witted.  So dim-witted in fact that they can't even identify their own fingers:

Gerstmann’s syndrome is a neurological disorder characterized by four primary symptoms: a writing disability (agraphia or dysgraphia), a lack of understanding of the rules for calculation or arithmetic (acalculia or dyscalculia), an inability to distinguish right from left, and an inability to identify fingers (finger agnosia). The disorder should not be confused with Gerstmann-Sträussler-Scheinker disease, a type of transmissible spongiform encephalopathy.  source: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/health_and_medical/disorders/gerstmanns.htm

Yeah, don't you dare confuse it with Gerstmann-Straussler-Scheinker disease, a type of transmissible spongiform encephalopathy.  I can't believe you.

5-5-03 - Finally a new disease.  I'm not really clear on what the hell this is, but it has a cool name.  So now I give you the description of Stiff Man Syndrome:

The Stiff Man syndrome is a rare disorder first identified in the 1950's. In its most typical form, the classical Stiff Man syndrome, it gradually develops and slowly progresses over several years, thereafter only fluctuating by modest amounts. Patients complain of painful spasms around the back, stomach and sometimes thighs and neck These spasms may be precipitated by unexpected events, such as a door slamming, a car backfiring or being tapped. Spasms may be also precipitated by attempts to move. As the disease progresses, there is often some degree of fixed postural abnormality, usually an arching of the low back.

4-01-03 - Today's disease is called Paruresis.&nbssp; Paruresis is also known as Shy-bladder, Pee-shy, or Bashful Bladder.  In case you're stupid, this means you can't piss when anyone is around.

BBS is often a life-long condition characterized by excessive hesitancy or a total inability to urinate. The problem also causes distress over everyday activities like travel, social engagements, long business meetings, and interferes in a significant way with the paruretics ability to carry on with these normal activities.  

To learn more, click the link.  I strongly suggest you do.  Particularly funny are the personal stories about Paruresis. 

3-22-03 - Today we look at Pruritus Ani.  This is the scientific name of what is more accurately known as Persistent Itchy Rectum or Stinky Finger Syndrome.  I've provided a link that will teach you all about this troublesome affliction.

http://www.colonrectal.org/patientinfo/conditions/pruritus.htm

I find it funny that one way to treat this is by stuffing a piece of a cotton ball between the cheeks.  

2-24-03 - Sleepsex.  What a disease.  Weell, it's not actually a "disease" but who cares.  If there is any disease that you have to get, this is the one.  Actually, it would probably be better if your spouse got the disease so you could reap the benefits.  Click on the link to learn more.

http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/sleepsex.html

Someday I hope they manage to capture this disease in a pill that can be easily fed to all women.

2-12-03 - This disease has "Scott Dunwoody" written allllll over it, particularly the genital abnormalities part.  I am slightly disappointed that they left off one of the biggest symptoms: large nipples.  So here's the official description of the disease:

"Aarskog Syndrome is an extremely rare genetic disorder marked by distinctive structural abnormalities. Major symptoms may include stunted growth, broad facial features, short broad hands and feet, genital abnormalities, and mild mental retardation."

The genital abnormalities and mild mental retardation may explain why Scott refuses to put out.  This is one of the saddest diseases of them all.

12-11-02 - Ahumada Del Castillo Synddrome.  This isn't a very strange disease like the other ones, but I find it funny because it only effects women.

"Ahumada Del Castillo is a rare endocrine disorder affecting adult females and is characterized by impairment in the function of the pituitary and hypothalamus glands. Symptoms may include the production of breast milk (lactation) not associated with nursing and the absence of menstrual periods (amenorrhea) due to the lack of monthly ovulation (anovulation). The exact cause of Ahumada Del Castillo is not known although some research suggests that small tumors in the pituitary and/or hypothalamus gland may be responsible for some cases of this disorder."  

In Spanish, Ahumada Del Castillo Syndrome means "Women are messed up and therefore subject to vast amounts of strange diseases" Syndrome. 

12-07-02 - Today's disease is called Hairy Tongue.  From what I can tell, people with this disease don't actually have a "hairy" tongue, but I think it's still funny.  

    Hairy tongue is an uncommon, benign condition that is also known as black hairy tongue or lingua nigra. It is characterized by abnormal elongation and blackish or dark brownish discoloration or "staining" of the thread-like elevations (filiform papillae) that cover most of the tongue's surface (dorsum linguae). Such changes often begin at the back (posterior) region of the body of the tongue and extend toward the front (anterior) of the tongue's surface.
    The specific underlying cause of hairy tongue is unknown. However, possible predisposing factors may include poor oral hygiene and overgrowth of pigment-producing bacteria or fungi in the mouth, treatment with certain antibiotic medications, smoking, chewing tobacco, and/or mouthwash use.

    If you ever get a hairy toungue, stop using mouthwash. That appears to be a cure. Somehow poor oral hygiene and good oral hygiene (mouthwash) are both causes of this disease.    

12-03-02 - Finally a new disease. This one is a good one. It's called Jumping Frenchmen of Maine!! HAHAHA!! Watch out everyone, here come the Jumping Frenchmen of Maine:

"Jumping Frenchmen" is a disorder characterized by an unusually extreme startle reaction. The startle reaction is a natural response to an unexpected noise or sight. This disorder was first identified during the late nineteenth century in Maine and the Canadian province of Quebec. Lumberjacks of French Canadian descent were originally associated with this phenomenon but it has since been observed in other societies in many parts of the world as well. "Jumping Frenchmen" is suspected to be a genetic disorder and/or an extreme conditioned response to a particular situation possibly influenced by cultural factors. Symptoms tend to improve with age.

    Freaks I tell you. The lot of them. Like most diseases, I think this one could be cured with a good slap upside the head.

11-28-02 - Today's disease is COWPOX!!! This is sort of like smallpox only different. Here's the description:

    Cowpox is a viral disease that normally affects the udders and teats of cows. On rare occasions, it may be transmitted to humans and produce a characteristic red skin rash and abnormally enlarged lymph nodes (lymphadenopathy). Cowpox is caused by the vaccinia virus and has been known to cause systemic reactions (generalized vaccinia) in some people who have been recently vaccinated against cowpox.

    My advice to stop the spread of cowpox: Quit sucking cow teats.    

11-27-02 - To start off the Disease of the Day page, I have chosen Burning Mouth Syndrome.  This isn't a deadly disease, but it sure wouldn't be any fun to get. Heres a description:

   Burning Mouth Syndrome (BMS) is characterized by a burning sensation in the mouth and/or tongue. It is often accompanied by dry mouth and/or a bitter or metallic taste in the mouth. In some cases, this condition may be associated with vitamin B12 deficiency, oral yeast infection (candida albicans), or irritation from dental prosthetics (dentures). The burning sensation may be aggravated by hot spicy foods. 

    This disease is funny for two reasons: ORAL yeast infection and the fact that it is aggravated by hot spicy foods. No shit? Eating hot, spicy foods might aggrevate an aleady burning mouth? I didn't see that one coming. Nice going, doctors.

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