Quote of the day

• Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it. -- Russel Lynes

• I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. -- Voltaire

• The generation of random numbers i s too important to be left to chance. -- Robert R. Coveyou

• If God lived on earth, people would break his windows. -- Jewish Proverb

• Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.             -- Orson Welles

• No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.             -- Charles M. Schulz

• The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.             -- Irving Caesar

• The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.             -- Nathaniel Borenstein

• A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.             -- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

• In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.            -- Pliny the Elder (23 AD - 79 AD) Those

• who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.             -- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933)

• You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.             -- Ronald Reagan

• We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for.             -- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach

• Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.             -- Edgar Allan Poe

• As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.             -- M. Cartmill

• Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.             -- W. L. George

• Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.             -- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

• And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.             -- Unknown, Buckaroo Banzai, from the film

• Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.             -- Anthony Burgess

• It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.             -- James Thurber (1894 - 1961)

• If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.             -- Dick Cavett

• Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.             -- Dan Quayle, 8/18/92

• Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.             -- Robert Heinlein

• I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it.             -- Queen Juliana, of the Netherlands

• In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.             -- Andre Maurois

• If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.             -- Laurence J. Peter

• All general statements are false.             -- Unknown, The Ultimate Law

• The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.             -- Jilly Cooper

• The idea of all-out nuclear war is unsettling.             -- Walter Goodman

• I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.             -- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

• We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.             -- Ray Bradbury

• A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.             -- Roald Dahl, (Willy Wonka) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

• This book fills a much-needed gap.             -- Moses Hadas (1900 - 1966)

• Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.             -- Claud Cockburn (1904 - 1981)

• Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.             -- Jonathan Swift

• Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.             -- Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)

• I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.             -- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

• It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!             -- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

• t's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.             -- Mick Jagger

• If living conditions don't stop improving in this country, we're going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.             -- Russell P. Askue

• Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.             -- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

• When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.             -- W. S. Gilbert

• Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.             -- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)

• The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.             -- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

• He who hesitates is a damned fool.             -- Mae West (1892 - 1980)

• The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless.             -- Paul Johnson

• I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth.             -- Carl Sandburg

• If one sticks too rigidly to one's principles, one would hardly see anybody.             -- Agatha Christie (1890 - 1976)

• The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.             -- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

• I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there.             -- Richard Feynman

• Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.             -- Woody Allen

• She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.             -- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

• Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.             -- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)

• To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.             -- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)

• If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.             -- Vince Lombardi

• My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.             -- Penn Jillette

• The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.             -- David Friedman

• Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.             -- Woody Allen

• Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.             -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

• In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man.             -- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

• One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.             -- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

• Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.             -- Hesketh Pearson

• Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.             -- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

• There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.             -- Henry Adams

• The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.             -- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)

• It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people.             -- Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)

• A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.             -- Edmond de Concourt (1822 - 1896)

• It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.             -- Arthur C. Clarke

• They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse.             -- Emily Dickinson

• The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.             -- Arthur C. Clarke, "Technology and the Future"

• Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.             -- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

• A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.             -- P. J. O'Rourke

• Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.             -- Andy Rooney

• We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.             -- Aesop (~550 BC)

• The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.             -- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

• A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.             -- James Feibleman

• To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.             -- Robert Orben

• A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation.             -- Donald Trump

• In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.             -- Jose Simon

• It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.             -- Alfred Adler

• I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.             -- Garry Shandling

• I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.             -- Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

• I felt like poisoning a monk.             -- Umberto Eco, on why he wrote the novel "The Name of the Rose."

• Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.             -- Ed Gardner

• You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.             -- John Ciardi

• The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.             -- Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart