She could feel his eyes on her, they burned a path down her spine sending her up in flames. The tingling that had started at the bottom of her back had rapidly turned into butterflies in her belly. She`d always been able to feel him, with out turning around she`d known it was him.
It had always been the same, even before the slayer had arrived and fallen for him. She`d seen him a few times, looking so sad and lonely, she`d wanted to wrap him up in her arms and banish the hurt from his eyes.
When Buffy had come to town and started to fall for him, she had been okay with it, it had hurt a little but she was content to be his friend. She`d almost had a heart attack when he`d come to ask her for help over Ford, she`d hoped that he was there to see her, but no it had been Buffy, it had always been Buffy. Or so she`d thought anyway, all the hopeing and longing had eventually payed off. One night he had come to her room, he`d knocked on the door so lightly she`d almost missed it, but she`d felt him, in the back of her mind, it was a side effect from the curse, after the casting she had retained some kind of small bond with him. Sensing him whenever he was near. So she had known who was knocking at her door.
He`d been so nervouse, fidgetting, ringing his hand, stuttering, she had been reminded of herself, it was almost amuseing, but the frightened look in his eyes had stopped her laughing out loud. He`d finally spat it out, in disjointed and rambling sentences he`d told her he loved her, had for months, ever since he`d come back from hell. She had been exstatic, her heart had done a double beat, but she had known it could never be anything, not really, she told him she loved him too but they would never be able to have a relationship, she just couldnt hurt Buffy and the others like that. Her best friend meant too much to her. He`d pleaded with her, said he was going to chase her, make her his, and as exciteing as that sounded, she kept saying no.
Eventually her barriers had dropped, he`d been so close to her for so long, never giveing up, always telling her how much he loved her that she had given in, she couldnt hold back any longer and they had started an affair. It went on for months, she kept falling deeper and deeper in love with him, it got harder to say goodbye in the morning, and easier to stay the day. She had known that they had to stop, someone would find out and it would have ended all thier friendships. So she told him to leave, to get out of Sunnydale for good and not come back, they had to end it and soon. He`d refused saying that he didnt give a damn about the others and what they thought, but she did give a damn, She still remembered the conversation, and the look on his face when he realised that she was seriouse...
"You know I love you, I always have and always will, but we cant carry this on, it will only hurt in the end, you have to leave"
"Little one please, I love you I cant leave you, come with me?"
"No, I cant, I wont, If you dont leave I`ll never be able to let you go, every day Im falling further, please, just.."
"I dont want you to let me go, please dont make me do this, dont make me leave the one thing that has kept me going all these months, please little one I need you, more than I need life"
"No, just go, okay, just leave"
He turned pleading eyes on her one last time and then slipped into the night, silent tears running down his cheeks. It had felt like her insides were being ripped out, her throat burned and her eyes were puffy from the crying she`d done, but she knew that it was the right decision. They`d agreed he would leave after the ascension.
That had been today, and she had wanted to die, he had stood and watched them for a few minutes and then faded into the smoke, never looking back, she`d wanted to run to him, hold him, tell him she was wrong, but her resolve held her in place. She`d come to the fish tank, a seedy little club on the opposite side of town, just to think, and to relax, no one knew her here, she could be herself, no worries about what the others thought. She had just needed to get out, after the ceremony she`d been to juiced to sleep and couldnt sit still long enough to do anything productive, so she`d come here.
She didnt turn, she knew he was there and she knew he would come to her. She felt him put his hand on her arm and try to turn her around on the stool..
"I thought you were leaveing?"
"I am, I just needed to see you, once more before I left"
"But..."
"No, please, just this one dance, so I can memorise everything about you, please"
"O..Okay, just the one dance"
She turned then, slipping off the bar stool and into his waiting arms, they walked to the dance floor, just holding each other. They began a slow sensual dance,
Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
All the love they felt, all the longing and need, was conveyed in that one dance.
In the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
She clung to him, for what seemed like eternity, just savouring the scent of him, and the feel of his arms around her.
So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
in the arms of an angel
He held her, never wanting to let go, she was his love, and he didnt know if he could live without her, but he was leaveing, and he`d never have her in his arms again.
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here.
The song ended, and they both knew it was time, he had been dreading it, the last time she`d be in his arms, the last time he`d see her brilliant smile or feel her warmth. She leant up and placed a tender kiss on his quivering lips, then slipped out of his arms. He felt cold without her, empty somehow. She sent him a sad smile and then turned to walk away. Steeling herself for the inner battle, to not run back to him and stay with him for eternity.
Without looking at him she said..
"Goodbye, my Angel, I love you, now and always"
"Noooo, Willow please, I cant do this without you, I love you"
But she was already gone, pushing through the door and walking away out into the night, she knew she would never be happy again, never love another as she did him. With unshed tears glistening in her emerald orbs she disappeared from veiw. Leaveing a very cold, very sad vampire alone on the dance floor, crying bloody tears for what could have been, and would never be...
"willow...."
The End