| I rolled out of bed late. I was so tired from work and lack of sleep. I was inexorably wound in my own frustration. I took a long hot shower and thought about what I could accomplish today. Go shopping? No. Ethan? Ugh. He was always invading my thoughts. Making me trapped in my desperation to tell him what I really feel instead of carrying on this meaningless whatnot. I went downstairs, my father was repairing the floor, diligently blasting seventies music about black liberation, which was ironic. My father was a pillar in my life, although sometimes he was more of a brother than a father. He picked up his hammer and began banging. I greeted him, interrupting his work. �Art called.� He smiled hammer in hand. �The boy with no arms and no legs that hangs on the wall?� I laughed he loved making jokes. And he loved teasing me more than anything. I scurried up the stairs and looked for the little piece of paper that was floating around my room with his number on it. I picked up the receiver and listened to it ring a few times while toweling my hair dry. �Hi, Ethan?� �I�ll get him for you.� I always made that mistake his dad sounded just like him. They were one of those crazy religious families that I usually scorned. But I didn�t let it crush my manors. �Hello?� Ethan answered. �Hey, so I had an opportunity to come see you, but I want to go to West Hills to see Amanda. And she�s supposed to hook me up with her friend, Matt.� �Right, so you�re coming here.� He retorted rather certainly. �I want to, really. But I haven�t seen Amanda in so long.� �At what point are you agreeing you�re coming here?� �Whatever. You just want to get head.� �No, we can go somewhere, and just sit and talk. I just want to see you. Make a decision.� �I�m going to end up in West Hills, I told Amanda first.� �Okay that�s fine.� �I�m sorry, I really want to see you.� �So why don�t you?� �Sorry. Bye.� I answered, he sighed and hung up the phone. I felt bad, really. But what could I do, I told Amanda I�d come. He made me feel so low sometimes. After the fifty-minutes drive to West Hills, I felt drained. I couldn�t help but think of him over and over again, and what I�d be doing if I were with Ethan and not here. Amanda�s parents weren�t home and her big house echoed trouble. She called some friends and they all came over to watch Fight Club. Her friend Christie showed up first. She was a short girl, who Amanda described to me and beautiful, and I to her as over done. Her long highlighted hair was haphazardly piled a top her head. She dressed just like all other girls her age do, big sweat pants, and a tight little shirt. Than the phone rang, well in her house the phone ringing is really the doorbell. I took a seat on the big leather couch next to Christie. I figured, if I didn�t like the boy Amanda was setting me up with, I could easily pretend I like Christie. The boys filed in line a line of soldiers. Amanda introduced me to them respectively. Greg, her boyfriend, Cosmo, this wannabe ghetto kid, Matt, the boy I was supposed to get with, and Dave, Matt�s cousin. None of them were all too pleasing. Moreover Matt, as I had previously heard was exceedingly pushy. Taking his place right next to me on the couch. His face wasn�t half as nice as his chiseled body. Although he did have an awkward stance and a look of stupid about him. He had blonde hair; drenched in gel, gray pants that were ten sizes too big. Amanda and Greg started getting it on hot and heavy on the couch. The dark was not curtaining them enough. So Christie got up and went upstairs, I took her lead. And then the boys filed in and sat on the couch sans, Greg. �Why are you guys here?� I asked. Christie was staring into the computer screen. �We couldn�t watch that either.� Cosmo represented the whole lot. �I want to go in Amanda�s room.� They procured the key, and got in. Matt and I stayed in the den; I sat down on the gray faux-art futon. He rolled around on the computer chair. He moved closer to me and started rubbing his leg against mine. Oh please. �So what with your pants?� �What�s wrong with them?� �They�re way too big. Are you trying to be black?� �I need room.� He adjusted his pants from falling down. �Room? Room for what?� I laughed. He rolled in a little closer. �Well, you look ridiculous.� �C�mon. I got it going on. See, three tee-shirts, cause its cold out and I don�t like jackets.� �Your underwear is hanging out.� �What? Yeah� So.� �I just thought you might be embarrassed.� �What�s with the way you talk? Do you read the dictionary or something?� �I don�t have a clue what you�re talking about.� But I did. All of Amanda�s friends had telling me all night how I talk funny. Amanda suggested she had to carry around a pocket dictionary to keep up. Maybe they were all just idiots. He moved in increasingly close, within kissing range. And the thought of it disgusted me. Because, I kept thinking how much Ethan was teasing me, and what he�d think. I heard screaming outside the window. Christie and Cosmo were on the room that was right outside the den window having a snowball fight. They knocked on the window and waved at us. Matt strolled over to the window and let the blinds down. Than he shut the door and locked it, I was saved by Amanda�s screams. I heard fighting outside the door, I insisted to Matt I had to see what was going on as an excuse. Amanda and Christie were screaming at each other because they weren�t supposed to go in Amanda�s room. They had tracked snow all over the entire second floor except for the room Matt and I were in. I leaned against the doorway and looked into the mirror across from me. I looked at the boy next to me, awkwardly placed next to me. Trying to seduce me. What was he trying to pull? Amanda delivered her speech: �Listen. My mom just called and is going to be home soon! You tracked water all over my room. My mom is going to flip! You know how she is! Christie, you know better!� Defeated, Christie and the boys scurried about trying to dry up the melting snow. �It�s only water� said Matt �Chill out.� �Still! You guys weren�t supposed to be here! I told her Christie, Greg, you and Mel are here. No one else! And you�ve all made a mess.� �I didn�t do anything, I was in the den. I wasn�t involved in this business.� I told Amanda. She wasn�t paying attention she was too wrapped up in the snow problem. Which was gradually melting away anyway. �It doesn�t matter. Everyone but the people I said before have to get out before she gets in. Go somewhere else, I don�t care. Everyone else in my room, my dad is drunk and my mom has to get him in the house without any outbursts.� I plopped down on Amanda�s bed and the rest of them left, except Greg and Matt. I sat next to Greg on the foot of the bed. Matt and Amanda across from us. Amanda nestled into Greg�s lap, her long hair falling across his legs. Matt put his hands behind his head and looked awkwardly up at Amanda�s beanie babies staring down at us from all angles. �When you change do you think they stare at you?� Asked Matt inquisitively. �Didn�t we go through this last time?� �They�re all looking at you, that is creepy. If this was my room I�d probably go crazy one day and tear them off the wall.� I said. �That�s good for you Megan�� Greg lisped at me. Greg was kind of short, slightly stout and dressed as stupidly as his other friends. Only his pants were big and baby blue. He had strong Italian features. His lisp was so annoying. But in a way I felt bad for the kid. �You guys don�t like each other do you?� Asked Amanda. �No I do.� We answered in stereo. That was freaky. �We have a repelling type of relationship. Don�t we?� Suggested Greg. �Greg�s okay. As long as he�s nothing like your other boyfriends.� �Like the one that fucked a beagle?� Interrupted Matt. Amanda looked over at her clock. It was five to eleven. They had to leave now. Good. I was glad for the awkwardness to be over with. Matt slid on his work boots. I embraced him in graceless goodbye and turned my cheek to steer clear of his kissing me. After Amanda let them out the back door, I knew she�d have a barrage of questions the migraine I had couldn�t handle. I reclined back on her bed, and felt my heart beating in the left side of my head, I had to take my dark rimmed glasses off awhile and be blind. |
| At Amanda's... |