| It was the type of heat that is almost tangible, and there�s little escape from it. The dirt vaporized into dust under my feet. I rarely went out of my trailer during the day. I lived by night, that�s how I met her. My friends are I were bored as usual. We were all out of drugs, running low on cigarettes. Basically living off whatever we could bum off anyone. We headed towards the game room, a dirty old wood sided building. A few tables were scattered sparingly around the room. A table for pool and fooze ball along with a few assorted, bright colored video games buzzed and beeped accordingly to those gazing into their screens, like zombies. My cousin Cassie went inside to try to get more cigarettes from anyone unsuspecting enough to give us them. I don�t know what happened in there, but she came out with four others behind her. That�s the first time I saw her. She wore a blue bandana as a kercheif aross her short red hair. Her face was speckled with freckles and she had bright blue eyes covered in glitter. She was tall and thin, and she looked so, innoccent. Not the type of girl I�d hang out with at home. I stared at her, took the cigarette out of my mouth, and let the smoke slowly filter through my mouth and nose. �Hey, I�m Paul� I said. She looked at me, with those curious eyes. I played it cool. I kept talking to my friends, I could feel her watching me. She was so different from other girls, I could tell from the start. She had an air about her, I had never seen before. She was light on her feet and very intelligent. We were all walking over to the beach, she and I fell behind. That�s when I got a chance to really know her. I told her about my friends, about how I was tired of doing the same things every day; how my friends were all so stupid, and it bothered me. I�d never told anyone that before. And I�d rarely heard myself trying to sound smart, trying to impress a girl like that. I was used to them just giving me what I wanted. She was a challenge, and it scared me. When we got to the beach. She and I sat down together on the other side of the beach, and tried to start a fire. We were talking about parts of myself I�d rarely addressed; it felt good, that side of me. The fire, built of grass and sticks began to burn bright red. Than everyone came over to see what we were doing, which spoiled the moment. I went to sleep that night confused. I knew I couldn�t pursue her despite my desires. The next night was our last night together. I wanted to kiss her but I couldn�t bring myself to do it. She was flirting with me, and I was apprehensive with her. She linked her soft hand in mine and we headed towards the beach again. It was around three in the morning. I could feel the rain in the air. It smelt of rain, and the air got cold and moist. I felt a solitary rain drop on my head. Than the skies unleashed their fury. The rain came down in sheets, she pulled her blue hood over her head and ran to the little house on the playground, and I followed behind her. Everyone huddled inside the tiny hut. She and I took a place against the back wall and she cuddled into my side. Her body was warm, and soft, I help her into me. We sat there for twenty minutes, until the the rain let up to a steady drizzle. Everyone headed outside, I had to go home. That�s when I did it. I put my lips to hers and kissed her. She was gentle, and delicate, like a carefully made china doll. I hugged her, and that�s where I left her. That�s the last time I saw her, the last time I spoke to her. She had tried to call me a few times once we got home, but I refused to speak to her, even though I wanted to. She showed me a side of myself I wasn�t ready to see. |
| Eyes, Closed. |