The Water Tower
Eric: Gentlemen, we have finally done it. A pot leaf on the water tower!
Fez: This is the proudest moment of my life!
Hyde: It doesn't look like a pot leaf. It looks like its giving me the finger.
Kelso: Well it doesn't have to look perfect Hyde, it's art!
Eric: Ok, my mom's a nurse, I'll go wake her up, maybe she can fix him.
Hyde: Just don't wake up Red though, he'll kill us all.
Eric: Gee you think?
Red: Oh, Kitty that's crazy. Eric's not on drugs, he's just...weird.
Kitty: (after Eric walks in, dropping all his books) Morning. Hungry?
Eric: Oh, I over slept and I'm gonna be late for school. So...bye.
Red: That kid's on dope.
Kitty: I'll say. It's sunday.
Jackie: You know Fez, this show contains an important message. That very thing happened to a friend of mine.
Fez: Really?
Jackie: Mmm hmm.
Fez: Um, may I ask who?
Hyde: Man, that is one drunk slutty cheerleader!
Donna: There goes her pom poms.
Eric: Alright, Alright! That is quite enough! Everywhere I look is sex, sex, sex and it's disgusting and I won't have it in my basement!
Donna: What's wrong with you Eric?
Eric: Oh excuse me, Donna, for having some moral fiber.
Laurie: Eric?
Eric: (shocked) get off my mom, what?
Laurie: What is it with you? You've been extra losery lately.
Eric: I saw mom and dad having sex.
Eric: Donna, I'm not in the mood.
Donna: Oh c'mon Eric, I'm just trying to get some action. What's going on? You mad at me or something?
Eric: Why, wou...Donna, I saw my parents having sex.
Donna: Oh god! Eeeeeeew!!
Eric: Yeah.
Donna: And you liked it, right?
Eric: No! God no, thats sick!!
Donna: I'm kidding Eric, I 'm kidding!
Eric: Ha, good one.
Eric: Donna, I don't see this receeding. I mean, I walked in on Red and Kitty, and they were right in the middle.
Donna: That's nothing. I caught my parents outside, in broad daylight, in the hammock, where I used to read like my Nancy Drew mysteries!
Eric: Oh man, that is so much worse than mine!
Hyde: Ok, do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into the yard and your dog Yogi came out and bit me twice on the ass?
Kelso (laughing): Yeah, you bled and you cried.
Hyde: I bled. I didn't cry.
Kelso: Yeah you did. You bled and you cried.
Hyde: And you laughed, man, a lot, while I was bleeding. You see my point?
Kelso: Yeah. It's funny when friends get hurt.
Hyde: Close enough.
Kitty: You've been acting really strange lately.
Red: Are you on dope, are you?
Kitty: Because if you are we can help you get clean, there's counceling, hospitalization...
Red: My foot kicking your ass.
Eric: Mom, Dad I'm not on drugs.
Kitty: Oh that is such a relief.
Red: Kitty, he's lying.
Eric: Dad, I swear, I'm not on drugs.
Red: Then what the hell is wrong with you?
Eric: Well I accidentally--I was upstairs and--,I I--Ok, you know what, I'm on drugs.
Laurie: Oh for god's sake, he saw you guys doing it! There, I helped!
Kitty: Oh, honey, were your father and I having intercourse
Eric: Mom!!!
Kitty: Well no wonder you've been acting so weird. Red, say something, make him feel better.
Red: Um.....(clears throat) It's more fun than it looks. (Kitty gives him a look) What? What do you want me to say?
Eric: Um, I know you do it and I accept that. So thanks.
Red: Sure thing. I just hope you learned your lesson.
Eric: Oh, yes sir I did....what lesson?
Red: Always knock.
Kitty: Oh, oh and also in the afternoon.
Eric: Oh my God! (runs out)
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