Part 3, read the other two to understand this one.
SCENE, JOEY RUNS INTO AN ALLEY AND STARTS BAWLING HIS EYES OUT. PHOEBE
CATCHES UP TO HIM
Phoebe: Joey! Never run away from me like that again! (joey is still crying) aw, joey come on,
lets get you home.
Jo: Ok.
Phoe: want me to take off work and help you with that list?
Jo: NO! I'll do it by myself.
Phoe: Ok. Lets go.
SCENE C&M'S APARTMENT, MONICA HAS MADE A TRUCKLOAD OF PANCAKES WHICH
CHANDLER IS RELUCANTLY EATING
Monica: Now these are buckwheat blueberry.
Chandler: Mmmmmm these are the best ever!
Mon: Really?
Chan: YES! YES YES YES! Now please gimmie back my briefcase, i have to get to work today!
Mon: Fine, but we're gonna talk about this tonight! (chandler sighs and rolls his eyes) Don't you sigh at me!
Chan: Ok, i'll see you tonight! (kisses her and exits the apartment, bumping into Joey and Phoebe) Hey guys can you tell monica
her pancakes are the best! (sees joey's condition) joey? is that flu getting any better?
PHOEBE AND JOEY IGNORE CHANDLER AND WALK INTO RACHEL AND JOEY'S APARTMENT.
Chan: What's up with that?
SCENE R&J'S APARTMENT
Phoe: Joey are you sure you want me to go? I don;t wanna leave you alone.
Jo: (weak smile) I'll be fine Phoebe, all i'm gonna do is get a list togther of all the women i slept with.
Phoe: (skeptical) you might need help with all the names.....
Jo: i kept every phone number i got. I'll be fine. go to work pheebs, i'll be here when you return.
Phoe: Ok. (goes to kiss, but joey just hugs her)
Jo: thanks phoebe. (She leaves)
SCENE JOEY'S BEDROOM. JOEY GOES TO A DRAWER AND PULLS OUT HIS ADDRESS BOOK. HE THEN GOES TO A DRAWER
AND PULLS IT OUT OF THE DESK. HE DUMPS A PILE OF LITTLE BITS OF PAPER ONTO HIS BED. HE PICKS THROUGH THEM
ONE BY ONE.
Jo: (holding up a phone number written on a napkin) One. (picks up another) two. (continuing) 3
TIME LAPSE 2 HOURS 45 MINUTES LATER
Jo: one, two, three, four, five, six seven eight nine ten! (Marks a notch on a book) One two, three, the last one. Ok, (typing numbers
into a calculator) OH MY GOD! 1,043 women? I've had sex with 1,043 women?!?!?!? (smiling to himself) oh man am i good! (realizing
his predicament) Oh dear lord! I've infected over a thousand women! I'm gonna kill 1,043 people!! And they're gonna kill more people!
Oh god! (starts crying uncontrollably, grabs hugsy his stuffed animal) Oh god hugsy! (continues to cry)
TIME LAPSE 43 MINUTES LATER JOEY IS LOOKING AT HIS WORLDLY POSSESIONS, OR LACKTHEREOF
Jo: (to himself) My god, what have i done with my life? Chandler bought the TV, the PSX, the foosball table, the stereo, and the rent! All I have to
show for 31 years is 154 dollars in my account, a few lousy tv and film credits, and 1,043 women's phone numbers! (sits heavily in
his barca lounger. Rachel enters)
Rachel: Hey joey!
Jo: hey.
Rach: whacha doing?
Jo: Wondering what i did with my life!
Rach: Interesting. You ok? You look flushed!
Jo: (standing up) yea i gotta do something now. (walks into his bedroom)
Rach: Isn;t baywatch on? (cut off by slamming of joey's door.) hmp.
SCENE PHOEBE WALKING DOWN 14TH STREET. SHE WALKS INTO A BUILDING.
Phoe: (into buzzer) Hey, I need a reading!
Psychic: Come up. (buzzes her in)
PHEOBE ENTERS THE PSYCHIC'S APARTMENT
Psyc: Hey phoebe, your appointment isn;t till tommorow!
Phoe: I know but i need to talk to you now!
Psyc: Ok, what do you need to know?
Phoe: My best friend is dying, rapidly, i think, i just wanna know, is he gonna die soon?
Psyc: Ok hold my hands. (psychic closes her eyes, and is in deep thought) you have feelings for this friend don't you?
Phoe: I don;t wanna lose him!
Psyc: Really!
TIME LAPSE 30 MINUTES
SCENE PHOEBE WALKS OUT OF THE PSYCHIC'S APARTMENT, ABSOULTELY CRUSHED.
TEARS ARE RUNNIG DOWN HER FACE, HER EYES ARE BLOODSHOT.
SCENE JOEY'S BEDROOM, JOEY IS SITTING ON THE FLOOR WRITING INTO A SPIRAL NOTEBOOK.
Jo: (writing) I Joesph Tribbiani, not crazy, but sadly dying, leave all my possesions to my parents
with the exception of the following. To Rachel Greene, I leave all my clothes including my Knicks jersey
i got from Nick Tramantozzi, my old best friend. I hope you find happiness in it. To Ross Gellar, I leave a tape that i
made and it is called, "How to Flirt". Please use it better than i did. Also, could Ross and Rachel please get overthemselves
and get back togther! To Monica Gellar, the best cook ever, i leave
all my pots and pans and my great-grandmothers tomato sauce recipe. I hope you cook the sauce for
the kids you will have with Chandler. Chandler Bing. My best friend. I leave to you all the stuff you
bought that is still in my apartment including the foosball table. I also leave you one-fourth of my SAG (screen actors guild) life insureance benefits which is
for all the times you covered for me in rent, food, and friendship. You are the best friend i could ever
have, and i thank you for being there for me. All i ask from you is to use the money for your future family with Monica.
That and name your first born child Joey, and teach him/her from my mistakes. To my 7 sisters i leave one-fourth of
my SAG insureance benefits, split evenly. I love all 7 of you very much. I would like to leave another fourth to an aids charity
of any kind. Finally. To Phoebe Buffay i leave the chick and the duck, along with Hugsy my bedtime Penguin Pal. Please give all three
the love that i will soon not be able to give it. I also leave Phoebe the last fourth of my SAG insureance benefits so she will
never ever have to live on the streets again. I'd just like to say, i am very sorry for putting so many people at risk for getting HIV.
I only hope God will someday forgive me.
JOEY HAS TEARS IN HIS EYES. HE FOLDS UP THE PAPER AND PUTS IT IN A DRAWER. HE PUTS HIS ADDRESS BOOK AND
ALL THE PHONE NUMBERS IN THE SAME DRAWER. HE GOES THE KITCHEN AND UNENTHUSED, EATS A SLICE OF PIZZA.
AFTER EATING HE GOES BACK TO HIS ROOM, LIES ON THE BED AND FALLS ASLEEP.
SCENE MONICA & CHANDLERS. MONICA, ROSS, RACHEL AND CHANDLER ARE EATING DINNER.
Mon: Where's Phoebe?
Chan: I think she had a late massage client tonight.
Ross: Is Joey ok?
Chan: I don;t know, when i left this morning he looked like shit!
Mon: (bitter) he doesn;t like my cooking! He should feel like shit!
Rachel: I came home early today, and he looked like he had just cried!
Ro: This morning i saw Joey and Phoebe, and he was crying!
Chan: Wait where did you see him?
Ro: NYU
Chan: Whereat?
Ro: Outside of the med..ical center.....
Mon: OMG! Joey's sick!
Rach: how do you know?
Mon: He was sick all week! If he's been acting like this all day, then something must be wrong!
Chan: He did look awful when i saw him!
Rach: He did, i mean he didn;t watch Baywatch today!
Chan: WHAT!?!?! He didn;t watch BAYWATCH! How could you not tell me! (getting up) something is really wrong with him!
Mon: Honey, calm down, Rachel didn;t know. Wait, that means he's depressed, he still likes my cooking!
Chan: (ignoring that last comment)I'm going over there!
Ro: Dude calm down, whatever is up with Joey, he'll tell us on his own time.
Chan: (sighing) Ok. I just wish he wouldn;t hide things from me. I'm his best friend, i tell him everything!
Mon: Everything?
Chan: cept thing about you!
SCENE JOEY'S ROOM. JOEY IS PEACEFULLY SLEEPING AS PHOEBE WALKS IN. HER EYES ARE A DEEP RED FROM CRYING.
SHE LIES DOWN NEXT TO HIM AND FALLS ASLEEP HUGGING HIM. TIME LAPSE 9PM. JOEY WAKES UP, SURPISED TO SEE
PHOEBE NEXT TO HIM.
Jo: I got the phone numbers. I always kept the girls phone numbers.
Phoe: How many?
Jo: over a thousand woman the past 6 years.
Phoe: OMG!
Jo: I know I know. Boy your eyes are red. Were you crying eariler?
Phoe: No, no, i just had a bad reading from my psychic. It was about my job. (pause) 1000 women joey? Haven't you tried to
find the right woman?
Jo: I've tried! I guess women find me irresitible in the short term, but in the long term, they see nothing! It's either you know, one
night stands or being like chandler before he and monica got togther. And now i'm gonna die
Phoe: (fearful) you're not gonna die!
Jo: Phoebe, if i have this, then 1,043 women are at risk! And they've had sex with
another 1000 people, and so on and so on! It all adds up!
Phoe: Stop it ok! Stop it. In an hour we will see if you are sick or not. You said it yourself, you used a condom everytime you
did it with (emphizes) "all" those women.
Jo: I'm just so scared Phoebe.
Phoe: I was scared too Joey. When i lived on the street, the first night i crawled into the dumpster and covered myself in some newspapers,
i never felt more alone in my life. For the next 5 years i had to live like that! But it got better Joey!
Jo: Really?
Phoe: I'm not living on the street anymore am i?
Jo: Yea.
Phoe: Things are gonna get better for you too!
Jo: Yea.
Phoe: I love you joey!
Jo: back at you!
Phoe: (serious) no joey i lov-
CUT OFF BY THE LOUD RINGING OF THE PHONE. THE SOUND FILLS THE EMPTY APARTMENT. JOEY IS FRIGHTENED, PHOEBE
IS NERVOUS. JOEY PICKS UP THE PHONE
