Sir Gigolo and the Tawdry Princess

Sir Gigolo's blade arced through the air, clashing against the dragon's claw with a fierce crash. He moved somewhat like a panther, feet somewhat like a dancer. Sir Gigolo made sure to only pick on dragons of the non fire-breathing kind. After all, he was only a second tier knight, but the prize wasn't quite Sir Lancelot's material either.

"Oh Sir Gigolo, you are so brave! Finish him off and ravish, I mean rescue me," the fairish princess called impatiently from the tower above.

Sir Gigolo drew his second broadsword and spun the two weapons impressively though pointlessly. This move was purely for the ladies. The dragon paused bewildered. This was a fatal move, as Sir Gigolo drove the two points through the dragon's scaly neck, delivering a fierce blow to dragon-kind and the WWF endangered species list. Where was the palace artist when he needed him?

"Sir Gigolo, come quickly. I'm in the top tower."

Forty minutes later Sir Gigolo had trudged up the hundred stairs in his chain mail.

"What took you so long? I've had to look after myself twice already! Kiss me quick, and ravish me against the wall, or maybe bent over the window, or I guess I can be on top if you'd prefer..."

"Not so quick my Lady. All princesses are spoilt brats and need to be spanked before any rumpty pumpty."

The princess bit her lip, but kept quiet. It wouldn't do to let him know yet.

Sir Gigolo shuffled across the room and took the fairish young lady over his lap, lifting her shifts. He whipped his glove off and began to spank the spoilt brat diligently.

Sir Gigolo paused. This was getting uncomfortable.

"Are you finished already?"

Sir Gigolo reached down and unfastened his cod piece. Much better. "Not yet my Lady."

He resumed the spanking. The princess squirmed over his steel and rod, caught between outrage and lust.

The princess begged and cried, promising to be the best girl she could, but Sir Gigolo had heard it all before, and didn't let her up until her bottom was cherry red and her face stained with earnest tears.

He kissed her with a knight's passion. She returned his kiss with a virgin's enthusiasm and uncanny expertise.

Sir Gigolo fought to keep a straight face as he lowered her to the bed. "I shall try and be delicate with your maidenhood my Lady."

"Can't you at least take your armor off?"

"Afraid not my Lady, it takes two men. We'll have to try something different."

And so Sir Gigolo took his new princess with all the lust of the eleventh century. Three minutes later the princess was heard to say as she dragged on a weed next to her exhausted knight, "Oh great, I've been poked up the butt by a steel pervert. My poor bottom when he finds out I'm actually Joan the tap wench from Red Dragon's Tavern and my father's a blacksmith."