1
Once, in a kingdom called Delain, there was a King with two sons. Delain was a very old kingdom and it had had hundreds of Kings, perhaps even thousands; when time goes on long enough, not even historians can remember everything. Roland the Good was neither the best nor the worst King ever to rule the land. He tried very hard not to do anyone great evil and mostly succeeded. He also tried very hard to do great works, but, unfortunately, he didn�t succeed so well at that. The result was a very mediocre King; he doubted if he would be remembered long after he was dead. And his death might come at any time now, because he had grown old, and his heart was failing. He had perhaps one year left, perhaps three. Everyone who knew him, and everyone who observed his gray face and shaking hands when he held court, agreed that in five years at the very most a new King would be crowned in the great plaza at the foot of the Needle... and it would only be five years with God�s grace. So everyone in the Kingdom, from the richest baron and the most foppishly dressed courtier to the poorest serf and his ragged wife, thought and talked about the King in waiting, Roland�s elder son, Peter.
And one man thought and planned and brooded on something else: how to make sure that Roland�s younger son, Thomas, should be crowned King instead. This man was Flagg, the King�s magician.
2
Although Roland the King was old � he admitted to seventy years but was surely older than that � his sons were young. He had been allowed to marry late because he had met no woman who pleased his fancy, and because his mother, the great Dowager Queen of Delain, had seemed immortal to Roland and to everyone else � and that included her. She had ruled the Kingdom for almost fifty years when, one day at tea, she put a freshly cut lemon in her mouth to ease a troublesome cough that had been plaguing her for a week or better. At that particular teatime, a juggler had been performing for the amusement of the Dowager Queen and her court. He was juggling five cunningly made crystal balls. Just as the Queen put the slice of lemon into her mouth, the juggler dropped one of his glass spheres. It shattered on the tiled floor of the great East Court-room with a loud report. The Dowager Queen gasped at the sound. When she gasped, she pulled the lemon slice down her throat and choked to death very quickly. Four days later, the coronation of Roland was held in the Plaza of the Needle. The juggler did not see it; he had been beheaded on the executioner�s block behind the Needle three days before that.
A King without heirs makes everybody nervous, especially when the King is fifty and balding. It was thus in Roland�s best interest to marry soon, and to make an heir soon. His close advisor, Flagg, made Roland very aware of this. He also pointed out that at fifty, the years left to him in which he could hope to create a child in a woman�s belly were only a few. Flagg advised him to take a wife soon, and never mind waiting for a lady of noble birth who would take his fancy. If such a lady had not come into view by the time a man was fifty, Flagg pointed out, she probably never would.
Roland saw the wisdom of this and agreed, never knowing that Flagg, with his lank hair and his white face that was almost always hidden behind a hood, understood his deepest secret: that he had never met the woman of his fancy because he had never really fancied women at all. Women worried him. And he had never fancied the act that puts babies in the bellies of women. That act worried him, too.
But he saw the wisdom of the magician�s advice, and six months after the Dowager Queen�s funeral, there was a much happier event in the Kingdom � the marriage of King Roland to Sasha, who would become the mother of Peter and Thomas.
Roland was neither loved nor hated in Delain. Sasha, however, was loved by all. When she died giving birth to the second son, the Kingdom was plunged into darkest mourning that lasted a year and a day. She had been one of six women Flagg had suggested to his King as possible brides. Roland had known none of these women, who were all similar in birth and station. They were all of noble blood but none of royal blood; all were meek and pleasant and quiet. Flagg suggested no one who might take his place as the mouth closest to the King�s ear. Roland chose Sasha because she seemed the quietest and meekest of the half dozen, and the least likely to frighten him. So they were wed. Sasha of the Western Barony {a very small barony indeed) was then seventeen years old, thirty-three years younger than her husband. She had never seen a man with his drawers off before her wedding night. When, on that occasion, she observed his flaccid penis, she asked with great interest: �What�s that, Husband?� If she had said anything else, or if she had said what she said in a slightly different tone of voice, the events of that night � and this entire history � might have taken another course; in spite of the special drink Flagg had given him an hour before, at the end of the wedding feast, Roland might simply have slunk away. But he saw her then exactly as she was � a very young girl who knew even less about the baby-making act than he did � and observed her mouth was kind, and began to love her, as everyone in Delain would grow to love her.
�It is King�s Iron,� he said.
�It doesn�t look like iron,� said Sasha, doubtfully.
�It is before the forge,� he said.
�Ah!� said she. �And where is the forge?�
�If you will trust me,� said he, getting into bed with her, �I will show you, for you have brought it from the Western Barony with you but did not know it.�
Stephen King: Lohik��rmeen silm�t
Suomentanut Lumikki
1
Olipa kerran Delainin kuningaskunnassa kuningas, jolla oli kaksi poikaa. Delain oli hyvin vanha kuningaskunta ja siell� oli ollut satoja, ehk� jopa tuhansia kuninkaita: kun aikaa kuluu tarpeeksi kauan, eiv�t edes historioitsijat muista kaikkea. Roland Hyv� ei ollut paras eik� huonoin maata hallinnut kuningas. H�n yritti kovasti olla tekem�tt� kenellek��n kovasti pahaa ja useimmiten onnistui siin�. H�n yritti my�s kovasti tehd� suuria tekoja, mutta ik�v� kyll� siin� h�n ei onnistunut niin hyvin. Lopputuloksena oli hyvin keskinkertainen kuningas: h�n ep�ili, ett� h�nt� ei muistettaisi kauan kuolemansa j�lkeen. Sit� paitsi h�nen kuolemansa saattaisi tulla mill� hetkell� hyv�ns�, koska h�nest� oli tullut vanha ja h�nen syd�mens� oli pett�m�ss�. H�nell� oli j�ljell� ehk� yksi vuosi, ehk� kolme. Jokainen, joka h�net tunsi ja katseli h�nen harmaita kasvojaan ja vapisevia k�si��n h�nen pit�ess� hoviaan, oli sit� mielt�, ett� viimeist��n viiden vuoden kuluttua uusi kuningas kruunattaisiin suurella aukiolla Neulan juurella... ja siihen menisi viisi vuotta vain Luojan armosta. Joten jokainen kuningaskunnassa, rikkaimmasta paronista ja keikarimaisimmin pukeutuvasta hovilaisesta k�yhimp��n maaorjaan ja h�nen r�syiseen vaimoonsa asti ajatteli tulevaa kuningasta ja puhui h�nest�, Rolandin vanhemmasta pojasta Peterist�.
Mutta yksi mies ajatteli ja suunnitteli ja hautoi jotain muuta: miten varmistaa se, ett� Rolandin nuorempi poika Thomas kruunattaisiin kuninkaaksi Peterin sijasta. T�m� mies oli Flagg, kuninkaan velho.
2
Vaikka Roland-kuningas oli vanha � h�n my�nsi olevansa 70-vuotias, mutta oli varmasti vanhempi � h�nen poikansa olivat nuoria. H�n oli saanut menn� my�h��n naimisiin, koska h�n ei ollut tavannut yht��n naista, joka olisi miellytt�nyt h�nt�, ja koska h�nen �itins�, Delainin mahtava leskikuningatar, oli vaikuttanut Rolandista ja kaikista muista kuolemattomalta � my�s kuningattaresta itsest��n. Kuningatar oli hallinnut kuningaskuntaa melkein 50 vuotta, kunnes er��n� p�iv�n� teep�yd�ss� h�n laittoi tuoreen sitruunanpalan suuhunsa lievitt��kseen sitke�� ysk��, joka oli vaivannut h�nt� jo yli viikon. Tuona nimenomaisena teehetken� er�s jongl��ri oli esiintynyt leskikuningattaren ja h�nen hovinsa huvitukseksi. H�n heitteli viitt� taidokkaasti valmistettua kristallipalloa. Juuri kun kuningatar laittoi sitruunanviipaleen suuhunsa, jongl��ri tiputti yhden lasipalloistaan. Se pirstoutui suuren it�isen hovihuoneen laattalattialle p��st�en kovan pamauksen. Leskikuningatar haukkasi henke� ��nen takia. H�nen n�in tehdess��n sitruunanviipale luiskahti h�nen kurkkuunsa, ja h�n tukehtui hyvin nopeasti. Nelj� p�iv�� my�hemmin Neulan aukiolla vietettiin Rolandin kruunajaisia. Jongl��ri ei niit� n�hnyt: h�net oli mestattu mestauspaalulla Neulan takana kolme p�iv�� aiemmin.
Kuningas, jolla ei ole perillisi�, hermostuttaa kaikkia, varsinkin kun kuningas on 50-vuotias ja kaljuuntumassa. Sen t�hden oli Rolandin edun mukaista avioitua pian ja tehd� pian perillinen. Rolandin l�heinen neuvonantaja Flagg muistutti h�nt� siit� usein. Flagg huomautti my�s, ett� 50-vuotiaana ne vuodet olivat v�hiss�, jolloin Roland voi toivoa saavansa aikaan lapsen naisen mahaan. Flagg neuvoi h�nt� ottamaan pian vaimon ja unohtamaan sen, ett� l�yt�isi jonkun jaloa syntyper�� olevan hienon naisen, joka miellytt�isi h�nt�. Kun sellainen nainen ei ollut ilmaantunut miehen 50. ik�vuoteen menness�, h�n ei luultavasti koskaan ilmaantuisikaan, Flagg huomautti.
Roland tajusi Flaggin puhuvan viisaasti ja oli samaa mielt� tajuamatta, ett� Flagg suorina riippuvine hiuksineen ja melkein kokonaan hupun alla piilossa olevine kasvoineen ymm�rsi h�nen syvimm�n salaisuutensa: ett� h�n ei ollut koskaan tavannut naista, joka olisi miellytt�nyt h�nt�, koska h�n ei ollut koskaan oikeastaan pit�nyt naisista. Naiset huolestuttivat h�nt�. Eik� h�n ollut koskaan pit�nyt tapahtumasta, joka laittoi lapsen naisen mahaan. Sekin huolestutti h�nt�.
Mutta h�n ymm�rsi taikurin neuvojen viisauden, ja puoli vuotta leskikuningattaren hautajaisten j�lkeen kuningaskunnassa vietettiin paljon iloisempia juhlia � Roland-kuningas nai Sashan, josta tulisi Peterin ja Thomasin �iti.
Roland ei ollut Delainissa pidetty eik� vihattu. Sit� vastoin Sashasta pitiv�t kaikki. Kun h�n kuoli synnytt�ess��n toista poikaansa, kuningaskunta vajosi syv��n suruaikaan, jota kesti vuoden ja yhden p�iv�n. H�n oli ollut yksi kuudesta naisesta, joita Flagg oli ehdottanut kuninkaalleen morsiamiksi. Roland ei ollut tuntenut ket��n n�ist� naisista, joilla kaikilla oli samanlainen syntyper� ja yhteiskunnallinen asema. Heiss� oli kaikissa aatelista verta, mutta keness�k��n ei ollut kuninkaallista verta; kaikki olivat s�vyisi�, miellytt�vi� ja hiljaisia. Flagg ei ehdottanut ket��n, joka olisi voinut vied� h�nen paikkansa l�hinn� kuninkaan korvaa olevana suuna. Roland valitsi Sashan, koska t�m� vaikutti olevan hiljaisin ja s�vyisin noista kuudesta, ja siten v�hiten todenn�k�inen pelottamaan h�nt�. Siisp� heid�t vihittiin. Sasha, joka tuli L�ntisest� kreivikunnasta (joka oli hyvin pieni kreivikunta) oli silloin 17-vuotias, 33 vuotta miest��n nuorempi. H�n ei ollut koskaan n�hnyt miest� ilman alushousuja ennen h��y�t��n. Kun h�n silloin katseli miehen velttoa penist�, h�n kysyi uteliaana: �Mik� tuo on, mieheni?� Jos h�n olisi sanonut mit� tahansa muuta tai jos h�n olisi puhunut hieman eri ��nens�vyll�, sen y�n tapahtumat � ja koko t�m� tarina � olisivat saattaneet muodostua aivan toisenlaisiksi. Sill� siit� erikoisjuomasta huolimatta, jonka Flagg oli antanut Rolandille tuntia aiemmin h��juhlan loppuessa, Roland olisi saattanut vain hiipi� tiehens�. Mutta silloin h�n n�ki tyt�n juuri sellaisena kuin t�m� oli � hyvin nuori tytt�, joka tiesi viel� v�hemm�n lasten tekemisest� kuin h�n � ja huomasi tyt�n hymyn olevan kiltti ja alkoi rakastaa h�nt�, kuten jokainen Delainissa oppisi rakastamaan h�nt�.
�Se on kuninkaan kahle�, h�n sanoi.
�Ei se n�yt� kahleelta�, sanoi Sasha ep�illen.
�Se ei olekaan viel� ollut ahjossa�, Roland vastasi.
�Ahaa!� tytt� sanoi. �Miss�s ahjo sitten on?�
�Jos luotat minuun�, mies sanoi nousten s�nkyyn tyt�n viereen, �n�yt�n sinulle, sill� olet tuonut sen mukanasi L�ntisest� kreivikunnasta, vaikka et itse sit� tiennytk��n.�
Takaisin