Homer's Quotes

"Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

Homer : "Blame the guy who doesn't speak English."

Homer (looking up at the living room ceiling): "God, why do you mock me?" 

Marge : "That's not God, that's a waffle that Bart threw on the ceiling." 

Homer (eats waffle): "Mmmm...Sacrelicious!"

Homer : "Quiet, I can't hear myself think."

 Brain : "I want some peanuts."  

Homer : "That's better."

Homer: "Twenty dollars? Aww, I wanted a peanut!"  

Brain: "$20 can buy many peanuts."  

Homer: "Explain how!"  

Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."  

Homer: "Whoo-hoo!"

Homer: "Be quiet, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip"

When The Simpsons are being changed to the Thompsons... [Homer can't understand he is now Mr. Thompson:]

Agent: "Now when I say `Hello Mr. Thompson' and press down on your foot, you smile and nod"

Homer: "No problem."

Agent: "Hello Mr. Thompson (and presses Homer's foot)" [Homer has a blank stare, and then looks at other agent and whispers loudly]

Homer : "I think he's talking to you"

Homer :(on way out of office) That dirty dean!! I'll get him [Homer leaves and Dean's phone rings]

Dean : Hello

Homer : [In ridiculous but hilarious voice] Hello Dean, you are a stupid head

Dean : Is that you Homer? [Dean then sees Homer at the pay phone, Homer shrieks and runs away]

Homer : [In a silly voice] "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I'm here to pick up a letter."

Postal Worker : "Your first name?"

Homer : [In silly voice] "I don't know."

Homer : "What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a park. I think all cars should have them!"

Lenny : "Where are you going ?"

Homer : [Triumphantly carrying Marge] "I'm going to the back seat of my car! And I wont be back for TEN MINUTES!"

Marge : "Homer we never have parties"

Homer : "What about that huge one, you know with champagne, a band, a lot of holy men or something."

Marge : "Homer that was our wedding"

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