history

SOME IMPORTANT EVENTS IN HISTORY:

WORLD WAR 2: THIS IS THE ONE WHERE YOUR GANNY AND GRANDAD HAD AN ARGUMENT WITH SUM1 CALLED JERRY.

FAST FOOD: ALRIGHT IF U CAN CATCH IT.........

STAR WARS: A REALLY BIG ARGUMENT BETWEEN ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AND TOM CRUISE.

HIGHER EDUCATION: ANY SCHOOL OVER 3000 METRES ABOVE SEA LEVEL.

WEIRD HAPPENINGS:

SIR ISSAC NEWTON DISCOVERED THE LAWS OF GRAVITY WHEN AN APPLE FELL ON HIS HEAD, WHO THREW THE APPLE??

THE CHINESE INVENTED THE 1ST EVER CLOCK, HOW DID THEY KNOW WOT TIME TO SET IT TO??

COMMANDER ROBERT NEARY DISCOVERED THE NORTH POLE, WHO PUT THE POLE THERE??

JAMES WATT INVENTED THE STEAM HAMMER- WHY DID HE WANT TO HAMMER STEAM??

DAFT DEFINITIONS:

B.C: MEANS BEFORE CRICKET, REFERS TO ANY TIME AROUND 1550, WHEN THE GAME WAS INVENTED.

A.D: MEANS AFTER DWARFS, REFERS TO ANY TIME AFTER 1603, WHEN THE LITTLE CHAPS BECAME EXTINCT.

THE TIME BETWEEN THESE DATES IS KNOWN AS A.B.C.D: AFTER BEFORE CRICKET DWARFS.

SUM IMPORTANT DATES TO REMEMBER:

0 B.C.- ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN HAPPENS

B.C.- WORLD INVADED BY DINOSAURS, FOSSILS, INSECTS, LITTLE GREEN MEN FROM PLANET QUORK AND THE ROMANS.

1492- CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DISCOVERS DISNEY WORLD.

1969- NEIL ARMSTRONG PROVES THAT THE MOON ISNT MADE OF CHEESE.

CIVILIZATION OF THE MONTH-THE NORMANS

      THE NORMANSCAME FROM FRANCE, AND HAD NAMES LIKE NORMAN DE DUFFUS, AND NORMAN DE BEARD, AND MARRIED LADIES CALLED NORMA.
      IN 1066, HAROLD, THE KING OF ENGLAND CHALLENGED ALL THESE NORMANS TO A CONKER FIGHT, WHICH WOZ A BAD IDEA! BECOZ THE LEADER OF THE NORMANS WOS A BLOKE CALLED WILLIAM THE CONKER, AND HE HAD THE BEST HORSE CHESTNUT IN EUROPE.
      IN THE FAMOUS BATTLE OF HASTINGS, WILLIAM THE CONKER CHEATED BY BASHING HAROLD IN THE EYE WITH HIS CHAMPION CONKER. HAROLD RAN AWAY AND WILLIAM BECAME THE NEW KING.
      AFTER THAT, ALL THE PEOPLE IN ENGLAND HAD TO BE CALLED NORMAN AND NORMA AND WERE NOT ALLOWED TO PICK THEIR OWN CHESTNUTS INCASE THEY FOUND A BETTER ONE THAN WILLIAM'S.