english

ENGLISH

EVERY YEAR IN SCHOOL, UR ENGLISH TEACHER WILL EXPECT U TO DO THINGS CALLED "BOOK REVIEWS". TO DO THESE, U WILL NEED A "READING LIST", WITH A WHOLE LOAD OF USELESS CRAP FOR U 2 READ, AND IT WILL PROBABLY LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

RAISING THE WIND                               BY TINA BEANS
GET RICH QUICKLY                              BY ROBIN BANKS
THE ARCTIC                                           BY I.C.WALTERS
GUIDE TO THE MOTORWAY                 BY LAURIE DRIVER
HORSE RIDING                                        BY MAJOR BUMSORE
OLD FURNITURE                                    BY ANN TIQUE
CAR REPAIRS                                          BY MIKE ANNIKE
AVOID MEASLES                                    BY ADAM ONCE
IS IT YOURS                                           BY JOAN ITT
CLOTHING FOR ALL SEASONS             BY ANNA RACK
GOING ON A JOURNEY                          BY WENDY BUSCOMES

IN ENGLISH, YOU HAVE TO LEARN THIS THING CALLED GRAMMAR. TO HELP U, DO THE EXERCISE BELOW BY CHOSING THE SUITABLE WORDS FROM THE BRACKETS.

      I (slithered, hopped, crawed) my way along the (road, canal, race track) on my way to (school, prison, bangladesh). With me were my pet (gorilla, rubber banana, leprechaun) who was called (ermantrude, gorgonzola, bateshiba).
      It was the first day of the term, and we were all eager to (meet, eat, beat) our new teacher, Mrs.Longshorty, who was famous for her (karaoke, bungee jumping, checkers playin) and taught ( english, twig planting, hairy fish studies) at my new school (Hells Kitchen comprehensive, Thughole Grammar, Bradford Penitentiary).
      "Good morning little (thugs, baboons, children))", said Mrs.Longshorty, once we had all sat down in our (Electric chairs, leopard skin bikinis, buckets).
      "I am so (happy, disgusted, hungry) to meet you. This year we are going to learn all about (Abraham Lincoln, Ghengis Khan, Boris Yeltsin) who as you all know was a great (chef, sweeper, DT thug) at our school in days gone by."
      The lesson went quickly and we all enjoyed picking our (subjects, noses, daffodils).
      Then it was breaktime, and i ate my (ham, mule, from skin) sandwiches, and washed it down with a (glass, bucket, lake) of orange juice.
      After break it was time for French with Mr.I.M.English who was going to teach us all about the aspects of (flower arranging, torture, trainspotting) for beginners.
      In all, it was a very good day and i cant wait for the next!

Here are some good excuses for being late for school:

1. The bus got to the bus stop before i did.
2. The bus was hijacked and the thugs made the driver fly to Rome.
3. My paper round flew away and it took me an hour to catch it.
4. I was helping an old lady cross the road, but it took longer than expected because she didnt want to go.
5. The sign on the road sed: School, go slow, so i obeyed it.
6. I was dreaming about a football match, and it went into extra time.