Do you like me?
[] yes
[]no
[]maybe
I hated those notes. I hated them so much. Whenever I see someone pass one I just wanna snatch it, urinate on it, and then force feed it to them.
"You think that's CUTE?! You think that's COOL?! Well it's NOT!! It's stupid and immature, you idiotic little whelp!"
As infuriating as it is, I love to watch middle schoolers try to date. Because, ya know, THEY CAN'T. They don't have cars in which to go on said 'dates', and they don't have the money to fund them. They're idea of dating is to walk through the hall together, or do homework, or continue to pass stupid notes.
"omg u r so cute i luv u" "omg i luv u 2 lets get maryed" "k"
Ugh.
And then comes the crisis.
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-BILLY DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE."
"... He never did! Stop crying and go have your period!"
All the whining and complaining about how it's not fair, it hurts so much, blabber blabber blabber. Yeah it hurts, that's what happens when you take something that's just starting to develop, IE, EMOTIONS AND HORMONES, and stab it a few good times and then toss it out of an airplane. You're TWELVE AND THIRTEEN, you have NO RIGHT to be dating or even thinking about it. First identify all your body parts before you match them up with someone else�s. Do the same with your emotions. Good God, you're just beginning to understand what Love MEANS, and you're not ready to experience it. So stop trying.
Take it from Jimi, kids: DON�T DATE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. You�re better off not bothering. Yes, it�s tempting, and yes, it�s a lot of fun BEFORE it comes crashing down around you, but you�ll be a lot happier later on when you look back and see all the idiocy you avoided. Even now I get stuck watching some kids I know run circles around the Drama Tree, poking each other with hot irons and barfing all over themselves and calling it a relationship. It�s really quite saddening.
However, if you�re hardheaded and stupid and simply must enter a �relationship�, follow these simple guidelines.
DON�T initiate the relationship through notes. If you�re not bold enough to talk to your potential partner face to face, then you�re probably not mature enough to be in a relationship with them. The �yes no maybe� notes are the absolute worst. This also goes for having your best friend talk to them for you; do it yourself or don�t do it at all.
DON�T HAVE SEX. Yet again, tempting and maybe fun, but STUPID. I�m proud to say this is one of the mistakes I never made. Whats going on in your pants shouldn�t be toyed with right now. You need to leave it alone, figure out what it is before you put it to the test. KEEP YOUR DAMN CLOTHES ON. Physical involvement is one of the worst mistakes you can make in a relationship, and EVERY time I�ve seen someone get physically involved before marriage, it�s come crashing down around them ten times worse than it would have, and a lot of times the breakup is accompanied by a child or an STD. Plus it just displays a complete lack of self control and makes you out to be an assclown. Hehe. Assclown.
Get to know your new friend before you get into a relationship. Yes, I said FRIEND. Friendship is the basis of any relationship, and if you hope to be in any way successful you won�t jump into things on the basis of, �But he/she is cute!�
People do this all the time and get their hearts broken, because they get won over by a pretty face and a pretty smile, and then the person turns out to be a shallow idiot. Take at least two weeks to establish a friendship FIRST. My girlfriend and I did this, and we�ve been together nine months without ever having a fight, because we took the time to understand each other.
And for the love of all that�s holy, keep God in it. Pray about it before and during, pray with your partner. If they�re not the sort of person who likes to pray or don�t even believe in God, that�s a plain-as-day warning that you need to back off. God strictly forbids against dating non-Christians, and if you yourself aren�t a Christian and are laughing at my way of putting God in everything, then I only pray God gets to you before your stay on this earth is at an end.
Praying together and for each other is what I attribute mine and Elyssa�s success to. God does it all, and if you try to do it on your own, you�re just begging for trouble.
If you don�t follow at least these simple guidelines, especially the latter three, you�re probably going to get screwed over, and I won�t have an ounce of sympathy for you. You�ve been warned, sukka�.
And if you�re wondering what gives me the right to say all this, it�s because I've been there and done that and made all the same mistakes that you�re probably making. And ya know what? When you're my age and you look back on it, you're gonna shake your head and laugh at all the stupidity, just like meh. But that's just growing up, I suppose. Not that I'm grown up. I'm still an immature little kid, and I fuggin' love it.