Choose one word to describe myself.
Machine — I’m not a very emotional guy.

What do i think the purpose of my life is?
To have a good time.

Chocolate, vanilla or strawberry?
Chocolate, by far.

What pisses me off the most?
Nothing pisses me off. Not now anyways. I find organized religions and the Denver broncos really annoying, but nothing pisses me off. Try me. When WAS the last time I was pissed?

If i could have one superpower, what would it be?
I’d give be able to give the gift of the most powerful orgasms in the world. Then, I’d have to be able to control time.

What is my motto or favorite phrase of words?
‘Take it easy’

Who/What was the last to make me cry?
My brother Matt, back in 4th grade. Pissed me off so much I just cried.

How much can i bench?
140 once.

With respect to physical attraction, which is my favorite? Face | Neck | Breast | Ass | Cooch | Gooch | Legs:
i think everybody knows i love ASS!!!

Describe my dream woman.
Well, I used to think Erika. Oh-oh-oh, Ahahaha, aaahhh…. But now, I’d just have to say a really cute, kind and reserved girl of the ordinary. I do like the Japanese-hapa mix –a lot! And I like a nice round ass…. And dark hair. So I guess, a cute Japanese-hapa girl, shorter than me, with a nice ass, great personality, kind, reserved and very understanding..

Describe my favorite video game.
Driving my car, because I do it as if it were a video game….you guyz know if you’ve ever ridden with me…

Have i ever shit your pants?
yes i have. back when i was four. i was locked out of the house, so i cried and couldn’t hold it, so i let go right there and right then, screaming my head off and saturating my He-Man underwear.

What was the saddest moment in my life?
To be serious, I don’t know, I’ve never really had a huge emotional moment. Not much bothers me, except loyalties...

How many times have I been pulled over by the police?
Apparently not enough. Well, 4 times by military police, and 3 times by HPD. Military police are sooo much worse. One of the hpd ones he was just standing on the side of University with his gun out--didn't see him. Then I was speeding down the hill. He clockt me, and walked out into the street and held out his hand. Only then did I realize what had happened. That was on Easter Sunday, senior year …Actually, I’ve been clean since then… well, they just haven’t caught me since then.

What’s my favorite nickname for my genitals?
Cheech & Chong. Cheech is the little guy on the right, and Chong is bigger, hangin lower..i think he’s got lower self confidence, he’s always been the unlucky one… but you can often hear me refer to them simply as my ballz—yeah, I like to keep things simple.

If you were flexible enough to you know…would you?
What do you mean “if”…

Would i blow my good friend off for $100,000 cash?
No way.
What if he couldn’t tell it was me?
No way.
For $500,000 cash?
That’s considerable, but then it could only be Mike.

If i were in a porno, what would be the plot?
It would be entitled, "The GoatbangR". I would walk around and hit up unsuspecting goats. Of course they'd all have to be goats, because goats tend to fight more than sheep do... I couldn’t be in a porno. that’d be impossible. I’d probably get so excited that I pass out before all the action. Ahaha.

Michael Bolton or Michael Jackson?
Jackson

In my opinion, what is the best music album?
Ooohhh, that’s easy. Mer De Noms.

What is my favorite gun?
50 Cal. Sniper Rifle

Describe myself with one word?
Direct.

If i could choose the manner of my death, what would it be?
Public execution: death by playing my favorite song sooooo loud my head would explode!