+Legacy

 

An RK Fanfic: i.e. the author doesn't claim rights to the anime used.

 

Chapter 23- Falling Apart

 

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"The darkness grows inside me

And fading shades of gray

All the colors in the world

Are slowly sucked away…"

 

                                                       - Stabbing Westward

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It is difficult to describe the sensation of drowning to someone who has never experienced it. If you relax, water caresses every inch of your body, lifting you up to the surface with all the gentleness of a mother's touch. The minute you begin to fight, it drags you down holding you by the throat like a rag doll until instinct wins over common sense and your mouth opens and all that liquid is willingly drawn straight into your lungs. One would think that such a thing is incredibly painful, but the moment you give in, water's gentleness returns and there is a dangerously seductive feeling of warmth and peace, as if you were floating on the winds of heaven itself.

 

How Hideki longed for a glimpse of that heaven now.

 

She and Aoshi both groped around in that icy darkness for what seemed like eternity before he caught hold of little Ayame-chan's arm and dragged her coughing and choking to the riverbank. Hideki remained, diving deeper and deeper in search of the still-missing Suzume. As if her desperation was not enough to drive her to distraction, the voice that she had grown to hate so well began to invade the sanctity of her mind. She could have endured any torture, anything at all over this wanton trampling of her psyche. Of all the rapes she was forced to endure, this one was the cruelest of all.

 

"Poor little whore, did you lose something?" it mocked over and over again.

 

Gritting her teeth she forced herself to concentrate on the child that needed her now more than anyone else. Concentrating all her power she reached out with her aura in an effort to locate the child's.

 

"You're wasting your time slut," the voice continued, "She is dead, and so will be the rest of your makeshift family if I don't get what I want."

 

Fighting against the torment in her soul, Hideki concentrated all the harder on achieving her goal. Her body became still for a moment before being encased in an envelope of bright light that reached out into the murky waters to illuminate a tiny figure that was curled in upon itself like a fetus. Swimming harder than ever before, she wrapped the child in her arms and they both rose to the surface.

 

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Logic told Aoshi that the loose soil on the banks of the rampaging water should have crumbled under Hideki's feet. However it did not, as she rose and jogged toward him with the child in her arms. As she drew near, her legs seemed to give way underneath her and there were tears brimming in her eyes as she gently laid the child's body on the grass.

 

Ayame had not spent that much time underwater, so it was an easy task for Aoshi to simply turn her head to the side so she could cough up the water that she had swallowed. Now she clung to him like a wet kitten as she stared at her sister's silent form. Hideki placed her hand over the little girl's chest and pressed firmly. Nothing. Almost panicking, she pressed again and again still with no result. Her tears now streaming freely down her face, she reached out a trembling hand to touch the pulse point above the child's collarbone.

 

Ayame could sense something was terribly wrong, and it showed in the way her body trembled as she twisted her hands tightly into the folds of Aoshi's shirt. "Sister?" she mewled pathetically, "Sister please wake up…please…" But little Suzume did not stir and to their horror her lips began turning a distinct shade of blue.

 

"C'mon Suzie you've got to wake up!!!" She was screaming now, desperate tears flowing from her gentle brown eyes in streams, as she pleaded for her sister not to leave her.

 

"Obachan please, please get up!"

 

Suzume's barely detectable pulse flickered weakly under Hideki's sensitive fingertips as Ayame's desperate screams echoed the ones of her past. They rang within her skull with an intensity that would have driven a lesser woman mad with grief. The child's desperation flooded her soul, intermingling with her own sorrow and that of the man next to her. This child, this child was under her protection. If she failed now, then what hope could she hold for the fight to come? On her very soul, this child would not die.

 

"Don't worry Ayame," she said quietly as she stretched her arms over the broken body, "Your sister is going to be fine, I…I promise."

 

Aoshi watched Hideki's movements with a mixture of sympathy and confusion. The babe was already gone. "What in the name of heaven could she be talking about?" he thought as he involuntarily tightened his embrace on the elder child.

 

As if reading his mind, Hideki raised her eyes to his and gave him one, sweet reassuring smile. Somehow, in that one moment the light of her hope burned away the last traces of doubt that lay in his consciousness. Unable to return the smile from under the weight of his own grief, he simply nodded and hoped that his eyes were broadcasting the message that his heart was sending out.

 

Hideki immediately returned the nod and then closed her eyes as if concentrating as she stretched both her hands palm downwards over the unconscious child.

 

Beyond the skin

Behind the eyes

Into the soul

Where power lies

 

The words were spoken softly but firmly, directed at everyone present and yet to no one at all. Both Ayame and Aoshi's eyes widened as Hideki's features and that of Suzume's unmoving form became outlined in a soft white light and their clothes and hair which moments ago were sopping wet, gently stirred as if lifted in a summer breeze.

 

I give my portion

To your store

Two to connect

Forevermore

 

What she was doing was dangerous, she knew that. However, the consequences of not attempting it at all were infinitely more dire. If it took all her strength, she would pull this off, for if she didn't, then the enemy would have already won and she would not let that happen.

 

She could not let that happen.

 

The bargain struck

For all of time

My soul is yours

Your breath is mine

 

On her last word Hideki bent to touch her lips to Suzume's, the light engulfing them both as soon as contact was made. Aoshi pressed Ayame into his chest as he turned away from the blinding light. He kept his eyes closed even as he felt her stir to see what had happened. He was afraid, not of whatever power Hideki had just displayed, but of the possibility that it had not worked at all.

 

That was when he heard it.

 

A string of childish sobs rang out from the spot where Hideki had laid Suzume on the riverbank. Slowly, he opened his eyes to focus on what he was dreading to see…

 

Hideki sat on her ankles, her facial expression hidden under the shadow of her thick bangs as she buried her nose in the hair of the child she was holding. Gently, she rocked them both back and forth as if seeking comfort from the simple embrace. Aoshi could do nothing but watch them with unconcealed awe, for Hideki wasn't the one who was crying.

 

Suzume was.

 

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Hours later, when the initial shock had died down, the sickening realization of what could have been hit everyone in the Kamiya Dojo with all the gentleness of a speeding train. Suzume, having cried herself out, was sleeping in a spare bedroom of the house as a determined Ayame sat guard beside her. This was the way Kaoru found them when she ventured in to check on them both. Ayame failed to acknowledge her presence with her usual cheerfulness, just barely lifting her darkened eyes to see who had dared to try and disturb her sister's slumber.

 

All things considered, that was quite understandable, but that did not stop the shivers from running down Kaoru's spine when she thought of how frightened they both must have been throughout the entire ordeal. She could find nothing to say, no words of comfort that would give her back the cheerful blossoms that brightened her dojo and her day. Cursing her own uselessness, she began to slide the shoji shut again.

 

"Don't blame Hideki-nee."

 

The child's request was not much more than a whisper in the dark, but it was enough to get Kaoru's attention and stop her dead in her tracks. She opened her mouth to say something but then the girl's eyes locked onto hers with an expression that was more honest and penetrating than any adult's gaze that rendered her silent.

 

"The lady at the bridge," she continued quietly, "She got into our heads and told our feet where to go. Aoshi pulled me out quick, but Hideki-nee took a real long time to find onee-chan and the river almost took her too…"

 

Blood dripped from Kaoru's clenched fists as the child's meaning became clear. This madwoman Hideki warned her of meant to kill everyone to get what she wanted, starting with what was most precious to them. Hideki had been right, Tian really was the Devil.

 

Forcing a smile onto her face for the child's reassurance she nodded as she spoke again, "Alright I won't, try to get some rest sweetheart," she said before finally clicking the shoji shut

 

 

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The dojo was full of people, and yet was as silent as a tomb. Yahiko and Tsubame sat off to one corner as the young girl cried silently into his shoulder. Sano, who had been with Megumi at the time they had called for her, unconsciously offered his own shoulder to the weary fox who forgot about their petty feud took him up on the offer of comfort. Kenshin sat near the steps with a drawn, anxious expression on his youthful face, while Dr. Genzai himself sat nearby in what seemed to be a daze of grief. His face looked even older as the weight of worry forged new paths across his already wizened features and silent tears flowed in between the cracks.

 

Hideki and Aoshi sat side by side, on the floor, well away from any of the others. She was still wearing the blue kimono she had left in, and now he could see that the thing had been made with special panels that had allowed her to save the child and herself. Even with the slits on both sides of the dress, the fact that the weight of the wet cloth had not dragged her down was testament to Hideki's hidden strength and stamina.

 

Neither had said a single word to each other since they'd brought the children home. Only when Hideki was convinced that both girls were fine did she retreat to her corner, fisting her hands in her lap as she dropped her head forward to hide her face behind a curtain of silvery blue. Without hesitation Aoshi took his place beside her, as if standing guard against anyone who might blame her for what had happened.

 

Not that anyone would. Everyone knew that she loved those kids enough not to want anything to happen to them. His mind wandered back to the incident on the river bank, the incantation or whatever it was that Hideki had recited to revive the child. What exactly did it mean? He stole a glance of her out of the corner of his eye as if that might give him a clue. In his heart he knew this woman was special from the first day they met, but he hadn't any idea at the time of just how special she really was…

 

"Who are you Kusokube Hideki?" he wondered.

 

Kaoru came in from checking on the girls and with a reassuring smile in Aoshi's direction, coaxed her cousin to get up so that she might at least change what she had been wearing. Hideki allowed herself to be coddled, but it seemed she just did not have the energy to argue. As she followed Kaoru to her room, she glanced back at the former okashira with a questioning look in her eyes.

 

It was then Aoshi's turn to offer the smile of comfort to her. "Yes, I will be here when you get back," his jewel like eyes seemed to say.

 

Hideki's own eyes softened involuntarily, "Arrigatou," she mouthed silently before turning away from him again.

 

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"Here, put this on." Kaoru said handing her a pair of hakama along with one of her training gi.

 

Not bothering with modesty, Hideki obediently stripped down and began to don the proffered clothing. Immediately, angry tears began to well in Kaoru's eyes as fresh bruises were revealed to them. There were scratches on Hideki's arms, a bluish mark on her left shoulder and another on her hip. Bruises that were earned in saving someone else, bruises that could have easily been much, much more.

 

"It's all my fault…"

 

Hideki's words were as quiet as Ayame's, but hollow and dull with no passion behind them at all. Slowly, mechanically, she secured the ties on her hakama while empty, sorrowful eyes stared out at absolutely nothing at all, as if her grief had erected a physical wall around her soul. Kaoru's eyes widened as the previously unshed tears finally slipped down her face in frustration.

 

"It's not your fault! How can you say that?" she asked in disbelief.

 

"All my fault, she would never have come....if I had died back there like I was supposed to…" Hideki continued as if Kaoru had not spoken at all.

 

Kaoru rose and grabbed onto her relative's shoulders, "Don't say that!" she cried, "This is my fight too! Don't go thinking that you can do this by yourself, let me do my share!"

 

Hideki's eyes finally flashed with recognition and she pushed Kaoru away roughly causing her to stumble back a few paces.

 

"IIE!!!" she screamed in a voice that was like thunder, "You must never face her, never!!!"

 

The fire in Kaoru's eyes never flickered, standing her ground she rose her voice to match that of her cousin.

 

"You're more of a coward than I thought."

 

Pain flashed across Hideki's features, but only for a moment, "Say what you like…" she growled.

 

Kaoru's eyes narrowed, "Going to fight an unbeatable opponent..."

 

"Be quiet..."

 

"You think that throwing your life away is courage?" she asked while looking into her cousin's eyes, "I don't agree with that!"

 

"I said be quiet!"

 

"No!!!" Kaoru insisted with a violent shake of her head, "I'll fight with you!"

 

The last scraps of Hideki's patience were finally blown away by Kaoru's impudence and her shoulders shook with rage as her fingernails dug into the flesh of her palms. What came out of her mouth next was like a roar that shook the entire dojo.

 

"Yuchunde haizi! Ni zuo wu liaojie!!!"

 

Kaoru looked as if she had been slapped in the face, then slowly her own stubbornness and anger took over.

 

"Wo shi zhengquede!" she spat, "Gangshangde shi ni!!!"

 

SLAP!!!

 

Straightening up from the blow, Kaoru covered her injured cheek with one hand as she reached for her cousin with the other.

 

"Niziji kao ta dui yingde shishishang nenggou ni xiang ni?"

 

Hideki looked at her hand as if she would have liked to chop it off right then and there. How could she have done such a hateful thing to the one she loved the most?

 

"Wo...wo...weiyide yuanwang…" she said, her accent faltering.

 

"Onna no kotoshite," she said dejectedly, "All that matters is you Kaoru."

 

Unable to bear the agonizing distance between them any longer, Kaoru flung her arms around Hideki's neck, "That's just not true," she said softly, "You don't have to sacrifice yourself for me. So stop burdening yourself with taking care of me. You have to take care of yourself too."

 

Hideki's arms snaked around her imuto's waist and held on tightly as she buried her face and her tears in the fall of her midnight tresses.

 

"Kaoru-chan…" she whispered sadly.

 

"It's all right," Kaoru continued gently, "We'll both do this together."

 

Hiccupping sobs, began to rock Hideki's body at her cousin's words, "Oh Gods protect her from her own foolishness" she prayed. Slowly, she forced herself to pull away from those comforting arms.

 

"I…" she choked, "I have…to go. Please Kaoru, for your own good, stay away."

 

"Hideki…"

 

Hideki's pain would not have been more obvious if it had taken on physical form.

"Forgive me," she whispered as pushed past her cousin, beyond her family of friends, out the door and into the night.

 

Too emotionally exhausted to do much else, Kaoru crumpled into a ball on the floor, allowing her grief to grip her as it had only done once before, when Kenshin had left her side for Kyoto. Her whole body shook with the incoherent language of despair and loneliness as one other watched from his place in the corner on the folded futon. His golden eyes reflected the sadness of his human companions, both present and past, as he wrapped his wings tightly around him.

 

Besides magic, sorrow was the truest mark of the Clow.

 

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Japan-Speak

 

Futon; bed that lies on the floor like a mattress

 

Gi; short kimono worn as a shirt

 

Hakama; wide legged thing Kenshin wears in place of pants

 

Kimono; dress, looks like a bathrobe without the sash

 

Shoji; sliding doors

 

Onna no kotoshite; I'm (an) unimportant (woman)

 

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China-Speak (please note this is all in Mandarin)

 

Yuchunde haizi! Ni zuo wu liaojie!!'-----'You foolish child. You do not understand'.

 

Wo shi zhengquede. Gangshangde shi ni.------I was right. You are pathetic.

 

Niziji kao ta dui yingde shishishang nenggou ni xiang ni?-----'You think you can actually win against her by yourself?'

 

Wo...wo...weiyide yuanwang...-----'I...I only want...

 

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