Under The Circumstances

an r.k. fanfic

 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

 

"The Hardest Choice"

 

 

 

 

"Grew up way to fast, now there's nothing to believe,

and re-runs all become our history."

 

 

Goo Goo Dolls

 

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Soujiro walked along the river's edge to the place where Misao and himself had had their epiphany just a few days before. It felt as if a lifetime had passed since he had stood on the mountains of Kyoto watching Shishio's fortress burn to the ground. Now that he had the love of such a beautiful person in his life he finally felt complete. If anyone had told him he would be as lovesick as he was now five years ago he would have laughed in their face. But now…

 

He reached into the sleeve of his gi, as he had done at least ten times for the day already. In his hand was a small, gold band in the shape of a dragon with an almond-shaped gem where it's eye should have been swallowing it's own tail. It was Yumi's last gift to him, something to remember her by.

 

"I won't wish you luck Soujiro, I'll wish you love. I hope that someday you'll find someone you can give this to…"

 

 

 His hand closed around the ring. Smiling, he looked straight into the light of the setting sun. Life certainly was complicated, but at the same time, rewarding.

 

 

"Thank you Yumi." he whispered.

 

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Instead of finding Misao herself, Soujiro found a short note from her lying on his folded futon when he got home. It was only a few lines long so she must have been in a hurry when she had written it. Full of curiosity, he began to read.

 

Anata,

 

Kaede asked me to have dinner with him this

evening. I've accepted only because I'd like to

use the opportunity to tell him about "us".

I'll be home soon.

 

Love, Misao.

 

 

 

 

Soujiro smiled and tucked the letter away in his sleeve for safekeeping. Just as he left his room, Kaoru caught up with him. "Tadaima Soujiro-san," she said cheerily, "Could you do me a favor? Misao's out with Kaede, Yahiko's working tonight, Kenshin and Aoshi are having a meeting in the dojo, dinner's barely started and I have to go see Megumi. Could you handle things around here till I get back?"

 

It was a good thing he could process information as fast as he could move, "Sure thing Kamiya-san," he answered, "Don't worry about it."

 

Kaoru's smile was one of both gratefulness and relief, "Thanks Soujiro, you saved my life," she said putting on her coat. She waved as she went through the door and then she was gone. Soujiro waved back and then turned back toward the house. "Where to begin?" he pondered. "I'll bring some tea to Himura-san and Shinomori-san, then I'll get started on dinner before Yahiko comes back." he decided.

 

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Inside the dojo, Kenshin and Aoshi were standing facing each other just as they had been since Aoshi first arrived. It was not unlike the time they had spent in Houji's library debating who was right and who was wrong. And although this time no-one was bleeding with external wounds,  the air was thick with the same level of tension as it had been that day five years ago.  They both wore grave expressions on their faces, one listening with rapt attention as the other spoke in a flat voice that belied the turmoil he was reliving inside.

 

" Tsuran Kazume was my friend," he began simply. "Before I was made okashira, even before I was truly Oniwabanshu, I was a motherless child. Kazume was the only one who recognized that. When I was nothing but a frightened little boy, she was the only one who knew when I needed reassuring. She was the one who held my hand when Misao's parents died and it was the pride in her eyes when I became leader that encouraged me. I think I was a little in love with her, but then again, everyone was. She was beautiful and kind as well as strong. There was no one more deserving of love…" his voice trailed away for a moment and his eyes seemed very far away, but just as quickly his attention was brought back to the present. He looked at Kenshin with empty eyes .

"Katsuya didn’t deserve her at all." he said flatly, "Where she was kind and sensible, he was brash and unreasonable. Many times I would hear him shouting at their son for the most ridiculous things, like flubbing a kempo move on the first try. He was a sweet child, quiet and intelligent like his mother. I rather liked him and I tried my best to be to him what his mother was to me. However, his heart wore with time and he became sullen and withdrawn, like a plant that withers without sunshine. He became what I used to be…an empty shell."

 

Aoshi walked over to the window where Kenshin stood. Resting his hands on the sill he looked in the direction of the sunset, but Kenshin knew he couldn't see it. Not that sunset anyway.

 

"He was a fool," he continued, "He thought he was immortal, that nothing could touch him. He sold the information we had gathered to more criminals than we could track down, and when he was caught he behaved as if it were his right to betray us. Everyone wanted him to die, but…" his grip on the sill tightened, "I couldn't give the order. He was a criminal in the eyes of the Oniwabanshu, but Kazume loved him and I cared for her, so I..I stalled. When I went to talk to her that night, all I found was a note wet with her tears. I ran outside calling her name but the only answer I got were her son's screams. It should never have happened, I should have been able to stop her. I should have saved her…"

 

Aoshi became very still then, Kenshin could hardly see his face through the thick bangs which had fallen over his eyes. However, the sadness which he felt seeped into his senses as Kazume's blood must have soaked into Aoshi's all those years ago. And then, like a prayer taking form, a single tear fell from behind the dark curtain of Aoshi's hair. Just one, but even so Kenshin was thankful. For it meant that Aoshi was truly free.

 

He had opened his heart again.

 

************************************

 

Outside, Soujiro stood with a full tray in his hands and a faint blush on his cheek. He felt as if he were intruding on something that was almost sacred. Since he had left the Juppongatana, ever since he had cried for the first time as an adult, he found that he could sense more than just battle aura. Thoughts and feelings, he could do more than just register his own emotions, but those of others as well. And what Shinomori felt was astounding. Guilt. Sadness, hatred, love, regret, gratitude. A plethora of emotion so deep one could drown in them. Hypnotized, he couldn't stop himself from wanting to stay, wanting to hear just a bit more.

 

Inside he could hear Kenshin's gentle voice. "So, that's why you teamed up with Saitou, isn't it?" After a short pause, he could hear Aoshi's barely audible "Yes." Afterward there was a longer pause, but before Soujiro could take the opportunity to make his way inside,  he spoke once again.

 

"There is one more thing." He said, " Katsuya…when he left he promised me something. He said that he would take from me what I took from him…" his voice trailed away again but in his eyes Kenshin could see a deep dread, one that he himself had known. His eyes widened with this new revelation, "Gods," he breathed, "That's why you let Misao come here…"

 

Aoshi nodded gravely, "If he gets the chance," he said quietly, "He will kill her."

 

 

***********************************

 

Outside, Soujiro stood rooted to the spot. It felt as if all the blood had been drained from his body, leaving him completely numb inside. And then a queasy feeling rose up from his stomach seeping into his limbs, causing his already white-knuckled hands to clutch the tea tray even tighter than before. Fear. Not for himself, but for another. He couldn't lose her, not now…

 

************************************

 

 

Kenshin pressed his lips together as if her were deep in thought. "I understand why you didn't want to say anything up until now Aoshi," he said, "I truly do. But now that I am involved please know that I will protect Misao to the best of my abilities. I promise."

 

Aoshi looked out the window for a moment before turning to Kenshin. Bowing stiffly, he thanked him in his most somber voice. "I will not forget this Kenshin." He said.

 

Kenshin nodded. "Oh," he said suddenly as if he had just remembered something important, "You did not tell me the name of your friend's son I would like to know it."

 

Aoshi straightened, "Kaede," he answered softly, "However, I've recently heard he had his name changed and is using his mother's maiden name instead. Probably to break ties with his father."

 

"And what was the maiden name?" Kenshin asked.

 

 

"Shinatama."

 

******************************************

 

 

" I need more time, yes I need more time

Just to make things right"

 

 

 

Oasis

 

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Misao removed the hood of her emerald mantle and looked around. "Gods," she breathed in disbelief, "Kaede…your house is so, beautiful." And she was right, everywhere was polished wood furniture and western style paintings, there was even a great sweeping staircase to her left. It was like paradise on earth, complete with scarlet silk drapes.

 

"I'm glad you think so Misao." Kaede answered helping her to get out of her coat. Once it was off he had to catch his breath. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Everything about her screamed elegance and poise tonight. It was all he could do not to grab her on the spot and kiss away every trace of rouge from her lips. Misao noticed his blatant scrutiny and a shy smile crept across her lips. "I…hope I didn't overdo it." she said sheepishly.  Kaede quickly snapped out of his reverie. "Of course you didn't," he stuttered, "It's just that…you're so…beautiful Misao." Misao's blush deepened, "Arigatou." she said softly. Kaede stared at her for a moment longer before he put his hand on the small of her back and guided her down the hall towards what she supposed was the dining room.

 

 

If only the gods had seen it fit to give her the power to hear the thoughts of others. Then she might have heard Kaede's anguished prayer even as he smiled and gently lead her through the mansion.

 

"Oh gods. Misao, please forgive me…please."

 

**************************************

 

 

Kenshin turned as white as a sheet. "Oh gods." He whispered, "We have to find her, now."

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"Misao has been seeing someone for the past few weeks. He introduced himself to Kaoru and Megumi as Shinatama Kaede."

 

Aoshi's eyebrows flew upward, "WHAT?!!!"

 

"I'll explain on the way, we…"

 

CRASH!

 

Both Kenshin and Aoshi were outside immediately, weapons in hand to vanquish the poor devil who had chosen to attack…them? "What?" Kenshin said stooping down to look at the crockery lying scattered in the dirt, as if someone must have dropped…his eyes traveled toward the path to find a small footprint, bigger than Yahiko's or Kaoru's but at the same time smaller than his own…

 

His eyes widened as he suddenly recalled all the times  he went completely ballistic when he thought Kaoru was in danger, if anyone he loved were in danger.

 

 "Soujiro!" he whispered.

 

*************************************

 

Soujiro ran faster and harder than he ever had in his entire life. Images of Misao bruised and battered. Misao struggling to breathe, Misao… He had never felt this much pain in his entire life. Not even when Kenshin had incapacitated him with the devastating force of his Amakekeru No Hirameki. His heart ached and burned with worry and he found himself resisting wave after wave of nausea that threatened to overcome him even as he ran. He had to run faster, the Gods had to keep her safe until he got there. "Please give me more time Kami sama," he prayed, "I can't lose her now, not like this."

 

"Are you afraid to die?"

 

Misao stopped swinging her legs back and forth and looked up into the face of her chosen company. Soujiro himself had not turned away from the setting sun, but the absence of his smile was enough to let her know that she had not imagined his question. Her own expression did not change much though, in his presence there was no need to be overly-cheerful, to hide the truer side of herself. Allowing herself the luxury of a small sigh, she turned once again to the place where the sun was ever so slowly slipping down between the mountains.

 

"Terrified," she answered simply, "Or at least, I used to be."

 

"What made you change your mind?"

 

A small smile crept across her features and she cocked her head to the side thoughtfully. "I don't think that anything would be changed by my death." she said flatly.

 

Soujiro could not help but give an involuntary start at the coldness of her answer. For one that seemed to radiate an inner warmth, the ninja girl had an odd habit of revealing the darkest side of her soul without any sort of apology at all.

 

In response to his silence, she leaned back on her arms once more and stretched both feet over the branch's edge. "Surely, there will be the others who will miss my presence, but as time passes, even they will begin to forget my own face. I may have taken this title onto myself, but the truth is anyone could have pulled the group together. I'm unimportant. Like a favorite trinket that you'll one day lose and eventually forget about; even my memory will one day fade from existence, so why should I fear the inevitable?"

 

"…That's a foolish thing to believe."

 

Misao turned to face him again, "Is it?" she asked.

 

Soujiro sighed and stood up, his usually dark eyes instead reflecting the light of the dying sun.  "The fight will begin very soon for both of us now," he said, "It will do you no good to go into it with that attitude."

 

A light breeze picked up then, blowing his bangs away from his face as he finally turned to face her. His smile was the same as it always was, but the expression in his eyes spoke differently as they locked with her own.

 

"When the sky begins to burn, I would prefer that you concentrated on staying alive. I cannot enjoy the company of a memory."  

 

 

Tears stung  his eyes as the memory waned but he fought them back. He had to concentrate, he was the Juppongatana's best tracker once, he hoped, for her sake, he still was.

 

 

*************************************

 

Misao squinted painfully in the darkness. Where was she? Kaede was guiding her through the house and then…She tried hard to remember what had happened next but she couldn't. She shook her head from side to try and fight the fuzziness in her senses. She realized her mistake when her head virtually exploded with pain. It was so sudden and intense that she gave a sharp shriek that echoed in the darkness.

 

As  the throbbing subsided she could make out the sound of footsteps coming closer. She remained as she was, lying on her side. A door opened directly in front of her revealing the silhouette of a man holding something in his hand. Misao blinked painfully in the strong light watching with angry eyes as the silhouette approached her.

 

To her surprise the figure touched her face gently with a smooth, warm, hand. "Misao." he said gently.

 

Misao's eyes widened in surprise, "Kaede?"

 

He helped her to sit up and offered her a drink from the cup he had brought with him. "Here," he said, "Drink this, it will help the pain."

 

"How does he know I'm in pain?" Misao thought. "Kaede, I demand you tell me what's going on!" she snapped hotly. "I feel as if…as if I was knocked unconscious." She recoiled as he looked away. "Gods! I was knocked out of my senses! Why?!"

 

Kaede's voice was grim, "I cannot answer that." He said coldly.

 

It was then she realized that he was wearing a ninja's gear, not unlike that of an Oniwabanshu ninja, only his was as black as a raven's wing. Misao shrunk back with horror, "What's happened to you?" she whispered.

 

Kaede did not answer her. Instead he rose from the floor and walked out, locking the door behind him. Misao watched helplessly as she was plunged into complete darkness once again. Only this time she was more hurt and confused than before. A single tear rolled down her cheek, then another and before long, she was on the floor again, sobbing like the child everyone thought her to be.

 

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Tsuran Katsuya watched interestedly as his son reappeared from the cellar. He smirked at the blank look on his son's face as he approached him. The boy was obviously trying to hide his feelings.

 

"That boy was always too soft for my liking." He thought grimly.

 

Kaede sidled up to his father and surveyed the room. A regular person would not have been able to see it, but to Kaede's eyes the darkened corners glowed with indigo light. Sword ki. His father's men had hid themselves in every corner of the house, "And the gardens as well," he guessed.

 

Tsuran watched his son as his senses scoured the room for their allies, "You're just in time." he said quietly, "Our spies tell me that Shinomori is finally onto us, and he's bringing his little friends along for the ride." He looked through the window and into the moonlit garden, "It promises to be a quite entertaining evening."

 

Kaede's voice was flat, "Hai." He agreed.

 

His father looked scornful, "Huh, one would think you'd be glad to get back at him for what he did to us."

 

Kaede's cold, emerald eyes pierced his father's, "I do this for my mother, no-one else." He said sternly, "Do not forget that."

 

Tsuran's eyes flickered with pleasure at the blood-lust he perceived in his son's own voice. Beneath his smooth façade, his inner self was smiling from ear to ear.

 

"I understand." He murmured.

 

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