Ever since Reno became the head manager of the LaGrange Theatre, he had been unreasonably paranoid that anyone and everyone was out to get him. At one point, the LaGrange had been the most prestigious theater in town, hosting a plethora of famous plays, operas, and the like. But, the moment Reno bought the business, it seems, a steady stream of unfortunate happenings have been...well…happening. “Oh, surely you can’t think that,” his twin reasoned, “it was an accident.”
“Two actresses in one day? Yeah right. Someone is trying to sabotage my production. No, my business. No, my entire life!” “But Miss April was hit by a bus,” Wedge insisted, “It was just a terrible coincidence.” “Oh, Alfred, how can you be so naďve? First my star actress dies, then her only understudy! Who’s next, the maid?” At the very moment those words left Reno’s lips, Detective Biggs burst through the door.“Alfred!” he bellowed, “Come quick! We found the maid at the bottom of the stairs…well, and the top…and in the lobby…and the hallway. Terrible bloody mess, really. Tragic…Anyway, hurry up, boy. I want to get in there and ask her a few questions before they take her head away!”
Reno fainted.
**********
“I can’t believe you got us banned from a hardware store,” Yuki grumbled. She, Stacie, and Karen were walking sullenly along the sidewalks of St. Plumsings, searching to no avail for another hardware store to clean up the sickening mess that was their house. “Me?!” Karen bit back, “You blew up the restroom! I didn’t even know that toilet water was flammable!” “Well, if you hadn’t lied to the police, we wouldn’t be in this situation at the moment,” Yuki retorted. “What did you expect me to tell them? The truth?!” “Well, it would have been a hell of a lot more believable than ‘evil aliens came out of the toilet and trashed everything.‘“ “Well it’s happened before!” Karen screamed, drawing the attention of several random by-standers on the street. Yuki paused for a moment, mulling over Karen’s response. “Point,” she conceded, “But, honestly Karen, what are the chances of it ever happening again?” Karen responded with a long sigh, deciding that it was in fact rather unlikely that the Splooge People of Nylon 4 would ever return to Earth for another visit. Alright, so maybe that wasn’t the best story she could have told the police. Her reverie ended as the trio rounded the corner of 451st Street. Ahead, just a few hundred yards away, was the once-glamorous LaGrange Theatre, which was now encircled with CAUTION tape and a small army of the St. Plumings Police Department. As the group drew closer, it was apparent to Karen that there was in fact a bus logged in the north wall of the building. “Hey look,” Yuki whispered excitedly, “Some idiot drove a bus into that building.” “Wow,” Stacie swooned, “I wonder if anybody was hurt.” “Yeah. Wouldn’t that be awesome?!” Yuki replied. Karen stood on her tip-toes to see over the crowd of reporters, investigators, and spectators, all of whom were chattering excitedly about whatever was happening. From the bits of conversation she managed to gather, Karen learned that apparently someone had driven a bus into the side of the LaGrange and squashed some girl in the process, that a maid had been murdered in the lobby, and that someone else was getting laid tonight, or so Shaniqua had told Lafawnda. Presently, there was a line of pretty young girls and very flamboyant men marching out of the Theatre’s front entrance, followed by a man with long blonde hair who Karen recognized instantly as Reno Wedge, former owner and principle of the Academy of Sparkly Magic, where she went to school last year. “Look!” Karen said, pointing a finger at the man, who was now on his knees, begging the group of women not to leave, “Isn’t tha Principle Reno?” “I think it is! I’d recognize that pathetic mess anywhere!” Yuki agreed. From where they were standing, the girls could hear Reno’s wailing over the noise of the crowd. “PLEASE!!” he cried dramatically, “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!!” The woman whose skirt he was clinging to abruptly turned and began shouting. “We’re not staying here for another second,” the woman said, “God knows what could happen! This place is cursed, and personally, I do not want to be the Phantisma’s next victim!” “Yeah,” another actress said, “Who knows who he’ll pick off next! We quit!” There was a round of nods and cheers from the group of actors behind her. They threw a volley of papers at Reno, which Karen guessed must have been their contracts. With that, they all turned heel and stomped away, leaving Reno a sobbing mess on the front stairs of the Theatre, and drawing nearly all the attention of the reporters unto themselves. Karen took this opportunity to run up to Reno, helping the man off the pavement. Yuki and Stacie followed out of curiosity. “Excuse, Mr. Wedge, are you alright?” she asked, her voice containing what sounded like genuine concern. The reporters trailed the actresses down the street, who stopped at a café’ to tell everyone their tragic story. Reno glared in their general direction and dusted his coat off. “Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Reno replied, not looking at Karen, “It’s these damn actresses. Divas, every one of them! They seem to think this place is cursed. Ha! Why, I ought a take every one of ’em to court and--” He stopped speaking abruptly when he turned to face Karen. Suddenly, his face lit up with excitement. “You! What is your name, oh fair maiden.” Karen blushed profusely. Stacie giggled. Yuki rolled her eyes. “M-m-my name is…Karen,” the red-head stumbled. “Has anyone ever told you that you’d look like a goddess on stage?” By now, Karen’s face was as red as her hair, and Reno was holding her hand, kneeling on one knee, as though he were addressing a queen. “Why, that’s…that’s very, erm, flattering…sir.” “Say, how’d you like to star in my new musical?” Reno asked, jumping back up on two feet, staring intently into Karen’s eyes. “I…well, I’ve never thought about it before..I mean, I can’t--” “Oh, you’ll be fine,” Reno assured her, “It’s not like you need talent or anything! We’ll just lap you in a dress, toss you up on stage, and…You. Will. Be .Marvelous!!” “Uh…” was all Karen could say before Reno started shaking her hand vigorously. “That’s GREAT! It just so happens that we have a lead role that just opened up and I think you would be perfect for the part. Say, why don’t you drop by this evening, say about 6-ish, and we’ll go over the details. And why’ll your at it, invite your friends. Sound good? Great! I’ll see ya then!” And with that, Reno quickly turned and disappeared into the Theatre, closing the great oak doors behind him with a loud slam. Karen stood on the steps of the front entrance, staring dumb-founded into space. “Well,” Yuki mused, “That was interesting.”**********
To be continued…