(d: Tim Burton, 1992)

Watching a Tim Burton movie is like listening to somebody tell you about the dream they had last night. It looks interesting, it sounds interesting, it's clearly supposed to interesting and the person telling it clearly thinks that it is interesting, but for some reason it isn't, and you're left sitting there half-paying attention, nodding your head and faking amazement with the odd obligatory "wow, really?" while silently willing for it all to end.

While I personally tire of it relatively quickly, his visual style is something that's worthwhile and something one can understand the appeal of. Style over substance? Maybe. BeetleJuice I thought was decent enough, though I'd describe it as "an hours worth of fun crammed into just 90 minutes". And everything else he did was kind of more BeetleJuice (especially that animated Christmas thingy that I only made it though about 20 minutes of).

Batman I always liked, because of the grand and operatic tone of it (though I think Michael Keaton was playing the wrong part. Surely he should have been the Joker). It's the least Burton-esque of Burton's films. I hadn't seen Batman Returns for years and years so I bought it on DVD a while back and watched it. While Batman was a Batman film directed by Tim Burton, Batman Returns is a Tim Burton film that happens to have Batman in it (they admit as much in the extras. Hurrah for self-awareness) and I didn't like it near as much.

I don't agree that this one is darker, contrary to what is apparently the general consensus. I mean, it "boasts" a giant rubber duckie for a getaway vehicle, and a battalion of penguins armed with rockets. Yeah, "dark". Join the dark side. It actually feels a bit silly at times, especially when any combination of Batman, Penguin and Catwoman are standing around together in costume. Admittedly, the characters are well acted and written. I do like the Penguin and Batman as polar opposites (Batman is a rich guy who dresses up like a monster, and the Penguin is a monster who dresses up like a rich guy. Nice) and with Catwoman thrown in as the more morally ambiguous one (her first two scenes as Catwoman have her preventing a mugging, then breaking into a department store) it's a potentially interesting triangle of personalities.    

 Great characters, but nothing's done with then. Catwoman sort of just wanders about aimlessly, pouting for attention. The Penguin runs for mayor, with him and Christopher Walken getting up to some generic "no good" (read "thin excuse for some kooky Tim Burton visuals"), but their hearts aren't really in it, while Batman is just sort of, well, "there", in his bat-suit, doing precious little. And that sums up Batman Returns to a tee. All dressed up with no place to go. Stood up on the night of school dance because Jimmy McGee found someone else to go with, someone who he was guaranteed to get to second base with.

 Batman Returns, left at home, in her prom dress, crying, while her nerdy best friend (the cute lead girl always has this nerdy (i.e., wears glasses and talks about books and stuff) best friend who she, if this was real life and not a pre-teen television show analogy, wouldn't be caught dead with in a billion kajillion years) gives her a hug and comforts her and tells her that "If he can't see how special you are then he doesn't deserve you" and then they decide to go the dance anyway, even though they don't have dates, because you see, they don't care about what other people think.

 Good for them.

** out of ****

Reviewed: 17-Jul-2006