WEIRD AL
YANKOVIC
I LOVE ROCKY
ROAD
I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool
Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school
Yah, but chocolate's gettin'
old
Vanilla just leaves me cold
There's just one flavor good enough for me, yah me
Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon
I know what I need
Baby, I love rocky road
So weren't you gonna buy
half a gallon, baby
I love rocky road
So have another triple scoop with me, ow
They tell me ice cream junkies are all the same
All the soda jerkers know my
name
When their supple is gone Then
I'll be movin' on
But I'll be back on Monday afternoon, you'll see
Another truck load's comin'
in for me, all for me
I'm singin'
I love rocky road
So weren't you gonna buy
half a gallon, baby
I love rocky road
So have another triple scoop with me, ow
(oh, make it talk)
When I'm all alone, I just grab myself a cone
And if I get fat and loose my teeth that's fine with
me
Just lock me in the freezer and throw away the key
Sing it
I love rocky road
So weren't you gonna buy half
a gallon, baby
I love rocky road
So have another triple scoop with me
GIRLS JUST
WANT TO HAVE LUNCH
Some girls like to buy new shoes
And others like drivin'
trucks and wearing tattoos
There's only one thing that they all like a bunch
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch
I know how to keep a woman satisfied
When I whip out my Diner's Card their eyes get so wide
They're always in the mood for something to munch
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have
That's all they really want Some
lunch
Don't ask 'em to dinner or
breakfast or brunch
'Cause girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch
Girls, they want Want to
have lunch
Girls wanna have
She eats like she got a hole in her neck
And I'm the one that always gets stuck with the check
Can't figure out how come they don't weigh a ton
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have
That's all they really want Is
some lunch
Don't know for certain but I've got a hunch
Those girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch
Girls, they want Want to
have lunch
Girls wanna have They just want to
They just want to Girls
They just want to They just want to
Girls just want to have lunch
Girls Girls just want to
have lunch
They just want to They just want to
They just want to They just want to
SHE DRIVES
LIKE CRAZY
Where'd you learn how to steer
You do eighty in second gear
When you drive, I can't relax
Got your license from Cracker Jacks
You just hit another tree
These fender benders are killin'
me
She drives like crazy Like noone else
She drives like crazy And I'm
afraid for myself
They'll put you behind bars
We're not playin' bumper
cars
Did a great figure eight
In the middle of the interstate
Tires squeel wherever we go
Even hitchhikers just say no
She drives like crazy Her
car's a mess
She drives like crazy She's
got a death wish I guess
She's a demon Behind the
wheel
Thinks she's drivin' The Batmobile
Burnin'
rubber in school zones
Runnin'
over the traffic cones
Passin'
"semi-"s on the right
Now my knuckles are turnin'
white
She drives like crazy She'll
break your necks (?)
She drives like crazy She
always gets into wrecks
She drives like crazy Like noone else
She drives like crazy Now I'm
afraid for myself
She drives like crazy Like noone else
She drives like crazy And I'm
afraid for myself
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens
every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there's something
you can eat A
million npeople every day are starving in the street
Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the
poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There's garbage in the water There's
poison in the sky
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
Well, what's the matter little friend, you think this
party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can, we'll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the pentagon are gonna
cook our goose
Their finger's on the button, all they need it an excuse
It doesn't take a military genius to see
We'll all be crispy critters after World War III
There's nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried
(Come on boys and girls, sing along, ok?)
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
wow! (background screaming, sound effect)
Well there's a punk in the alley and he's looking for
a fight
There's an Arab on the corner buying everything in
sight
There's a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to
feed
Seems that everywhere you look today there's misery
and greed
I guess you know the Earth is gonna
crash into the sun
But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little
fun
So if you think it's scary, if it's more than you can
take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
Happy birthday Happy birthday to you wow!
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
Happy birthday Happy birthday
to you
(Happy Birthday!)
And a pinch to grow an inch!
SMELLS LIKE
NIRVANA
What is this song all about?
Can't figure any lyrics out
How do the words to it go?
I wish you'd tell me, I don't know
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin'
And I don't know what I'm singin'
Crank the volume, ears are bleedin'
I still don't know what I'm singin'
We're so loud and incoherent
Boy, this oughta bug your
parents Yeah
It's unintel-ligible I just can't get it through my skull
It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss(?)
With all these marbles in my mouth
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Well, we don't sound like Madonna
Here we are now, we're Nirvana
Sing distinctly? We don't wanna
Buy our album, we're Nirvana
A garage band from
Well, it sure beats raising cattle Yeah
And I forgot the next verse
Oh well, I guess it pays to rehearse
The lyric sheet's so hard to find
What are the words? Oh, nevermind
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Well, I'm yellin' and we're playin'
But I don't know what I'm sayin'
What's the message I'm conveyin'?
Can you tell me what I'm sayin'?
So have you got some idea?
Didn't think so -- Well, I'll see ya
Sayonara, sayonara Ayonawa, odinawa
Odinaya, yodinaya Yaddayadda, yaaahyaaah
LIKE A
SURGEON
I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through I'm just an intern
I still make a mistake or two
I was last in my class Barely passsed
at the institute
Now I'm trying to avoid, yah I'm trying to avoid
A malpractise suit
Hey, like a surgeon Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon Organ transplants are my line
Better give me all your gause nurse
This patient's fading fast
Complications have set in
Don't know how long he'll last
Let me see, that I.V. Here we go - time to operate
I'll pull his indsides out,
pull his insides out
And see what he ate
Like a surgeon, hey Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon Here's a
waiver for you to sign
Woe, woe, woe
It's a fact - I'm a quack The
disgrace of the A.M.A.
'Cause my patients die, yah my patients die
Before they can pay
Like a surgeon, hey Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon Got your
kidneys on my mind
Like a surgeon, ooh like a
surgeon When I reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Ooh baby, yah I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time
STUCK IN A
CLOSET WITH VANNA WHITE
Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear
Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air
My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare
Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere
Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't
heard nothin' yet
Next comes the part that I won't ever forget
Now I'm bein' followed by
these Russian spies
They give me some velcro, and an order of fries
Suddenly I'm bowling on the Starship Enterprise
I fall down a hole and that's when I realize
I am stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
Night after night after night after nightAll right!
Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insane
Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain
See, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaur
Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor
Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door
And I'm back in the very same place I was before
Now I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
Night after night after night after night
And I can't bust out and I can't break free
And it's gettin' just a
little too stuffy here for me
And I can't go home and I can't get loose
And I try to escape but it's just no use
And I can't ever leave and I can't ever win
And we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin'
in
And I can't go back and I can't get through
But Vanna since you're here,
why don't you let me buy
a vowel from
you Come on Vanna, come on!
Ow, buhhh
Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again
That's right, I even wake up
screaming now and then
See, I'm coming home from work but I forgot my address
I'm half an hour late for my algebra test
Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest
And I'm falling and falling and I guess you know the
rest
I am stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
Night after night after night after night
I am stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
Stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
N-n-n-night after night after night night night
Then I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna
White (ya, ya-ya, ya, ya)
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
Night after night after night after night
I am stuck in a closet with Vanna
White (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya)
I am stuck in a closet with Vanna
White
WHICH
BACKSTREET BOY IS GAY?
We are, on fire, we have, desires, but one, is that
way,
one backstreet
boy is Gay.
And we don’t want to be mean, since now he’s a queen,
don’t ask please,
"which Backstreet boy is gay? "
Tell me who? ain’t
sayin that it’s aj
Tell me who? ain’t
sayin that it’s howie
Tell me who? I never wanna
hear you say:
"which backstreet boy is
gay? "
Now I can see him, he’s in womens
clothes, but he don’t
need an iud, yeah, He likes village people, he’s playin
croquet,
his dog is a pekinese.
He is on fire, his back, prespires,
Wont say, wont say, wont say,
whos gay!
He’s always sayin: ain’t nuthin but a butt-ache, ain’t nuthin
but a friutcake, He’s pickin up a souffl which
backstreetboy
is gay? Ok, we’re all gay.
CONSTIPATED
Uh huh ... extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me
Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame No one came
Just us eatin' all alone
You said, Take the pizza home
No sense lettin'
all this go to waste
So then I faced
Pizza all day And every day
This cheese 'round the clock
Is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care
For irregularity
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels
evacuated
In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon
irrigated?
No no no
I was feelin' pretty down
'Till my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me
Who would have guessed
Her family crest I'd suddely
spy
Tattooed on her thigh And
son-of-a-gun
It's just like the one on me
Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would
have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to
No no no no
no no no
I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide
Said not to stand But that's a demand
That I couldn't meet I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me
Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really
hate it
Such a drag, now ... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I
can't snore
I can't belch or yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports
Illustrated
Oh no
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda
makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a
pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were
separated
No no no