Preamble:
THE RULES LISTED BELOW APPLY TO THE CALLING OF SHOTGUN (THE PASSENGER SEAT) IN AN AUTOMOBILE. THESE RULES ARE DEFINITIVE AND BINDING.
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Section I The Basic Rules
Article 1: In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word "Shotgun" as long as the driver verifies the call.
Article 2: Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are outside and directly on the way to the said vehicle.
Article 3: Early calls
are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may only be called while walking toward
the vehicle and only applies to the drive immediately forthcoming.
Shotgun can never be called while inside
a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For example,
one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.
Article 4: The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.
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Section II Special Cases
These special exceptions to the above rules should be considered in the order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the cases beneath it, when applicable.
Article 1: In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.
Article 2: In the instance
the person who actually owns the vehicle is not driving, then he/she is
automatically given Shotgun, unless they
decline.
Article 3: In the instance the the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
Article 4: In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate use of the window.
Article 5: In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they decline.
Article 6: In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three-hour trip with him crammed in the back.
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Section III The Bastard Rules
Article 1: If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Bastard Rules on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all rules, excepting that of Section 1, Article 4, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied by whoever can take it by force.
Article 2: The driver
must announce the institution of the Bastard Rules with reasonable warning
to all passengers. This clause reduces the amount of blood lost by passengers
and the damage done to the vehicle.
Please follow the above rules to the best
of your ability. If there are any arguments or exceptions not covered in
these rules, the driver calls the shots, as stated in Section 1, Article
4.
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Amendments (We now have more than the U.S.
Constitution)
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Amendments are usually regional rules that do not have to be followed, but are really cool to know about, and practice in our spare time.
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Amendment I The Laser Rule
Ratified: December 7, 1997
This is a regional rule from the mid-west,
in which a person may call laser, after shotgun has been called to override
the shotgun call. This is only valid if the driver verifies the call as
we see in Section I, Article 4 that states that the driver has final say
in all disputes.
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Amendment II The Rotating Shotgun Rule
Written: 1996
Ratified: December 7, 1997
This rule is native to a suburb of Philadelphia, PA to ensure that everybody gets shotgun at least once per long road trip.
Article 1: Before the
first ride a passenger will call shotgun under the normal procedures, as
stated in Section I of the Official Rules.
Article 2: Once a passenger
has had shotgun, he or she may not have shotgun
again until everyone else has had shotgun.
Article 3: Before the
second ride, everyone (besides the person who has already had shotgun)
competes for shotgun under the normal conditions.
Article 4: This continues
until the trip has either ended or if everyone has already had shotgun
once.
Article 5: Once everyone
has had shotgun, the "shotgun order" has been established. You must now
rotate in that order.
Article 6: The shotgun
order recycles over and over until the trip is finished.
Article 7: Person(s)
joining the trip after the first ride are entered into the order by the
following process:
Clause A: On their first ride, the calling of gun is between that person
and the person whose turn it is in the shotgun order.
Clause B: if the order has not yet been established, the new rider is entered
into the pool of riders calling for shotgun.
Article 8: Driver still
has final say in all ties and disputes. All rules from the Official rules,
including special cases, and the Bastard Rules, are still in effect.
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Amendment III The Shotgun Clause
Proposed: December 23, 1997
Ratified: December 24, 1997
This rule native to the south, but practical
in many northern cities, states that the potential occupant with the largest
caliber weapon on their person defaults to shotgun, unless one occupant
is actually armed with a shotgun, in which case he gets shotgun. If two
or more occupants actually have shotguns, then the over/under barrel configuration
rules.
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Amendment IV The Specific Amendment
Proposed: December 27, 1997
Ratified: January 3, 1998
Any person who wishes to claim shotgun must
actually pronounce either the word "Shotgun" or "Gun." One may not say
the name of a type of shotgun, such as "12 Gauge." If a passenger does,
then he or she have lay no claim on shotgun, and it may be called for by
another person.
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Amendment V Rider to the Laser Amendment
Proposed: December 7, 1997 & January
8, 1998
Ratified: January 12, 1998
When a passenger calls Shotgun, another passenger may call "Shotgun Double Barrel" to override the shotgun call.
Additionally, any passenger who says "No
Blitz" after claiming shotgun, may not have it taken away by either the
"Laser" or "Double Barrel" rules.
These rules hold no precedence over Standard
shotgun procedure, and the driver has final say in all calls, as stated
in Section I, Clause 4.
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Amendment VI The "House" Rule
Proposed: January 11, 1998
Ratified: January 12, 1998
The Owner of the vehicle decides which Shotgun
Amendments to institute on his own car. All passengers must abide by the
rules of these Amendments, which are stated in this constitution.
However, the original three Sections of
the constitution must always be used, and may never be amended.
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Amendment VII The Eviction Amendment
Proposed: January 21, 1998
Ratified: January 22, 1998
If the vehicle is forced to stop for a serious
infraction of the Shotgunner, the Shotgunner must relinquish his/her seat,
if the driver so wishes.
Serious infractions have been known to include
spilling alcoholic beverages, spilling any beverage, being annoying, breaking
parts of the car and in extreme cases, just being ugly.
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Amendment VIII The Reserve Shotgun Amendment
Proposed: January 21, 1998
Ratified: January 22, 1998
After Shotgun has been called, a second person
may call Shotgun, which entitles him/her to the window seat in the back
with the more leg room, unless the vehicle is equipped with bench front
seats, whereupon he/she gets the seat of his/her choice.
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Amendment IX Rider to the Navigator Clause
Proposed: January 26, 1998
Ratified: January 27, 1998
The passenger who has shotgun MUST serve
as Navigator. By this, he must watch out for signs and intersections that
the driver may miss during the course of a road trip. The Navigator must
also ask for directions out the window.
It is also the responsibility of the passenger
who has shotgun to take control of the radio and air conditioning, however
the driver has final say over the settings. The other occupants of the
car can also have an opinion. If the passenger with shotgun is caught forgetting
their duties and makes the car listen to commercials and/or bad music than
his privilege can be lost. Of course this is in all good judgement of the
driver. As Navigator, the driver may also ask him to operate other devices
such as the windshield wipers, and rear window defroster.
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Amendment X The First Blood Amendment
Proposed: February 21, 1998
Ratified: February 26, 1998
This rule from the mid-west states that whoever
draws blood (supposedly when the bastard rules are in effect) gets shoved
in the back of the hatchback (or trunk) with the spare tire.
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Amendment XI The Australian Shotgun Rule
Proposed: February 24, 1998
Ratified: February 26, 1998
In australia if two people tie for shotgun,
then the first person to put their thumb on their own head is awarded shotgun.
If they both do this at the same time also then an immediate pissbolt (race)
to the car is required. (Thought you might find this interesting, dear
reader).
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Amendment XII The Five Minute Rule
Proposed: March 1, 1998
Ratified: March 1, 1998
This rule, which originated in Massachusetts, states that in the event that the passenger riding shotgun leaves the car (i.e.: to get something from his house of a convenient store) is allowed 5 minutes in which to return and still retain his shotgun privilege. If he does not return within the time frame allotted, another passenger may take his place.
There are other variations to this rule such
as the "Two Hour Rule," but these usually result in the shotgunner geting
beaten up by the other passengers.
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Amendment XIII The Awning Rule
Proposed: March 4, 1998 by Supreme Court
Ratified: March 5, 1998
One all passengers have exited through the
final doorway on the way to the car, (provided the car is in view) they
are considered outside and may call shotgun no matter what covering is
overhead. This rule applies to all awnings, covered decks and all outdoor
shelters.
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Amendment XIV The Bribery Amendment
Proposed: April 7, 1998
Ratified: April 19, 1998
In the event that the shotgun call ends up
in a tie between two passengers, the passengers in the tie may attempt
to bribe the driver so that the driver makes the call in their favor. This
rule is null and
void, however if the driver institutes the
Bastard Rules. Examples of bribes are money, food and soda.
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Amendment XV The Recall Rule
Proposed: April 16, 1998
Ratified: April 19, 1998
This rule from Southern Mississippi states
that once a passenger has called shotgun, another passenger may call "Recall
Shotgun," thereby overriding the shotgun call and claiming shotgun for
themselves. In order for this not to happen the first passenger must call
"Shotgun, No Recall." This rule is similar to the "No Blitz" call.
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Amendment XVI The Broken Seat Amendment
Proposed: April 16, 1998 by Supreme Court
Ratified: April 19, 1998
In the event that the front passenger seat
in the car is extremely uncomfortable, i.e.: has a big hole in it, the
passenger who called shotgun must sit in that seat. The other passengers
may ridicule him as they wish.
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Amendment XVII The Smoking Amendment
Proposed: June 11 and 17, 1998
Ratified: July 8, 1998
Article I: In the event that smoking is allowed in said vehicle, smoking passengers are given consideration over non-smokers in order that they may utilize either the window or ashtray.
Article II: In the event that there is more than one smoking passenger, the passenger that has already lit-up has Shotgun privilege over those who are not already engaged in the act of smoking.
Article III: In the event that more than
one smoker is already smoking while on the way to the vehicle, the driver
may enforce The Bastard Rules or First Blood Rule. This however, is not
recommended do to the high risk factor to the vehicle in question. As stated
in Section I Article 4 of the Constitution, the driver has all final say
in disputes between passengers.
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Amendment XVIII The Main Passenger Rule
Proposed: June 26, 1998 by Supreme Court
Ratified: July 8, 1998
If there is a passenger who is "just along
for the ride," then he or she must sit in the back seat because the ride
is not for them.
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Amendment XIX The Full View Amendment
Proposed: July 6, 1998
Ratified: July 10, 1998
The automobile must be in full view of all
passengers before "Shotgun" may be called.
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Amendment XX The Second Call Amendment
Proposed: July 13, 1998
Ratified: July 14, 1998
This rule from Delaware states that if a given passenger calls a valid "shotgun", then he or she may not say "shotgun" again. By calling "shotgun" a second time, he or she would automatically forfeit their seat and shotgun is reopened to the other passengers.
Other passengers are allowed to try to trick
the person who originally says "shotgun" into saying it again, in order
to claim shotgun for themselves.
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Amendment XXI The Contraband Amendment
Proposed: August 27, 1998
Ratified: August 30, 1998
In the event that the car is about to pass an abandoned case of beer, pornography, or any other form of contraband that the passengers might find useful in some way or another, it is the responsibility of the passenger riding shotgun to open his door and scoop up the said beer, pornography or contraband, while the car is still in motion.
Additionally, if the car is moving at a speed
above 15 M.P.H. (24 km/h) the passenger riding shotgun may decline to do
so.
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Amendment XXII The Boy/Girlfriend Rule
Proposed: August 30, 1998 by Supreme Court
Ratified: August 30, 1998
Revision Proposed: November 24, 1998
Revised : January 21, 1999
Section II, Article 2 of the Constitution states that , "In the instance the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline."
Serious Boy/Girl friends should also receive
preferential treatment in regards to shotgun.
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Amendment XXIII The No Bitch Rule
Ratified: January 21, 1999
This rule states that once Shotgun has been
called by one of the passengers, the remaining passengers may call, "No
Bitch." Bitch is the middle seat in the back, or the trunk. If a passenger
forgets to call "No Bitch," or calls it too late, he/she is forced to ride
bitch.
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Amendment XXIV The Non Chauffeur / Compulsory
Shotgun Rule
Proposed: December 29, 1998
Ratified: January 21, 1999
In the event that there are fewer passengers
than capacity would allow, there must always be a passenger riding shotgun.
This would include a couple. This is to prevent the driver from feeling
ditched, or like a chauffeur.
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Amendment XXV The Couples Rule
Proposed: December 29, 1998
Ratified: January 21, 1999
In the event that a couple is traveling together, they must both sit together in either the front or back seat. This is so that people without boy/girlfriends, spouses, lovers, or prostitutes, can talk amongst themselves in the hope of acquiring boy/girlfriends, spouses, lovers, or prostitutes.
This rule however is null and void if Amendment
XXIV is in effect.
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Amendment XXVI The Rock Amendment
Proposed: December 29, 1998
Ratified: January 21, 1999
This rule states that once a passenger calls
"Shotgun," he must also say, "No Rock." If the gunner does not say this,
another passenger may call, "Rock." In this case Shotgun is awarded to
the winner of a best of three, Rock, Paper, Scissors contest.
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Amendment XXVII Second Rider to the Navigator
Clause
Proposed: December 29, 1998 & January
9, 1999
Ratified: January 21, 1999
Amendment IX states that the passenger who has shotgun MUST serve as Navigator.
It is also the job of the Navigator throw all trash and empty beer bottles out of the window. The beer bottles must be crushed under the tires to destroy all evidence, in case of an emergency situation.
In addition, the Navigator must possess the
ability and the will to insult other drivers and be heard, only if they
deserve it (ie: being cut off). This is
to allow the driver to continue to operate the vehicle properly.
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Amendment XXVIII The Seniority Amendment
Proposed: January 9, 1999
Ratified: January 21, 1999
In the event that one of the passengers is
much older than the rest of the passengers, he/she is automatically awarded
shotgun, unless they decline.
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Amendment XXIX The 10 Foot Rule
Proposed: January 19, 1999
Ratified: January 21, 1999
This rule native to Myrtle Beach and Charleston,
SC states that once a passenger has called shotgun, another passenger may
call "10 Foot Rule." In this case there would be an immediate race for
the car. The first passenger to come within 10 feet of the car is awarded
shotgun.
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Amendment XXX The Backfire Rule
Proposed: November 23, 1998
Ratified: January 21, 1999
This rule from Central NC states that if
a passenger has shotgun on a trip, and then calls shotgun for the return
trip, any passenger may call, "Double Shotgun Backfire," to prevent a single
passenger from dominating the front seat.
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Amendment XXXI The International Rule
Proposed: January 22, 1999
Ratified: January 22, 1999
When crossing the border into another country.
All shotgun claims are void, and passengers may once again call shotgun.
If another passenger gets it, the driver must pull over at his earliest
and safest convenience.
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Amendment XXXII The Garage Rule
Proposed: January 19, 1999 by Supreme Court
Ratified: January 27, 1999
A garage is considered outside only if the
garage door is open, and all passengers are making their way towards the
car. They all must be able to see the car as well. Carports are covered
by the Awning rule as stated in Amendment XIII.
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Amendment XXXIII The Context Rule
Proposed: February 14, 1999
Ratified: February 15, 1999
A passenger may only receive shotgun if he
says shotgun within the context of calling shotgun. For instance, a passenger
may not be awarded shotgun if he says, "Did anybody call shotgun?," or
if he/she was talking about a shotgun.
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