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How to Handle Stress
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1) Jam 39 miniature marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them 
   out.
2) Use your mastercard to pay your visa.
3) Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.
4) When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
5) Find out what a frog in the blender really looks like.
6) Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
7) Forget the diet centre and send yourself a candy gram.
8) Dance naked in front of your pets.
9) Put your toddler's clothes on him/her backwards and send him/her to 
   pre-school as if nothing was wrong.
10) Retaliate for tax woes by filling out tax forms in Roman numerals.
11) Tattoo "OUT TO LUNCH" on your forehead.
12) Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high 
    places.
13) Leaf through a National Geographic and draw underwear on the 
    natives.
14) Go shopping; buy everything; sweat in it; return it the next day.
15) Buy a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your bosses 
    wife.
16) Pay your electric bill in pennies.
17) Drive to work in reverse.
18) Relaxing by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the 
    "Flintstones" during an important finance meeting.
19) Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
20) Refresh yourself; put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
21) Tell your boss to blow it out his mule, and let him figure it out.
22) Polish your car with earwax.
23) Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
24) Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
25) Lie on your back; eat celery, using your navel as a salt dipper.
26) Make a tape recording of a lion roaring and play it while 
    frolicking with your kitten in front of the neighbours.
27) Ask your neighbour if anything got broken in last nights earth 
    quake.
28) Ride up the escalator facing backwards.
29) Write a letter to the editor condemning scientists for trying to 
    wipe out whole species like the AIDs virus.
30) Phone the minister of finance and demand a tax increase.
31) Send a letter of resignation from your boss to your bosses boss.
32) Phone your dentist and tell him you've changed your mind, you want 
    that wisdom tooth back.
33) Tell your husband/wife he/she was adopted.
34) Phone the university and report that you are an extraterrestial and 
    would they volunteer to return to your home planet.
35) Phone any government agency and ask them "So just what is it you 
    people do all day anyway?"
36) Fill out your tax for using Roman Numerals.
37) Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in 
    jail.
38) Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back 
    to you.
39) Write a short story using alphabet soup.
40) Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.
41) Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the 
    wrapper.
42) Fill out every credit card application and magazine subscription 
    you get and have them bill you later.
43) Do your assignments in binary code.