Coming to think of it, Linda came to the conclusion that there was something in that tea the shaman offered her the day before. Ben had once told her of the powerful herbs used by the healers, and she felt she had been introduced to them, for many reasons.

During their talk, Linda had been able to open up in a way she did not experience since she found out she could not walk. She cried a lot, because she did not have to hide her true feelings anymore. At home, she was always careful not to hurt Ben. She never let it show when she was feeling depressed, angry or tired. Linda knew Ben still felt very guilt about what Victoria had done, so she spared him and bottled up her feelings. With the shaman, she was able to let it all out. As Ray would say, those were some huge waterworks. She cried, and cried until she grew tired. Then the shaman called David, who took her back to the cabin. She fell asleep right away.

Linda woke up a little bit sleepy, but not restless as usual. Her night had been one of the best ever she had spent in Canada: not even once she had woken up, lest screaming for Ben. Her dreams were not clear, but she knew they had been soothing and peaceful, as if there were angels taking care of her sleep.

One of those angels was looking at her when she opened up her eyes. Ilaqali smiled at Linda and caressed her, as she usually did. Only this time Linda smiled back and kissed her hand, not knowing how to convey her gratitude to the native woman. Ilaqali raised her eyebrows then grinned even more

Linda sat up and pointed at her. "Ilaqali". Then she pointed the finger at her own chest. "Linda."

Ilaqali seemed to understand, for she took Linda's hand and guided it to her chest. "Ilaqali." Then she put the hand in Linda's chest. "Linda". Both women smiled and hugged each other. Linda wished she could tell Ilaqali how very grateful she was for her nursing, her care and tenderness.

While Linda was having breakfast, David showed up, exchanged a few words with Ilaqali and then announced to Linda. "I will be back later."

"OK."

Ilaqali waited for Linda to finish the meal (made of berries and some smoked meat Linda didn't care to know) and began to dress her in heavy coating. Linda tried to ask, in gestures, if she would not bathe her, as she usually did in the mornings. Ilaqali indicated the bath would be later.

David took her to the shaman, but this time they met on a different location. It was a cave, and the mouth was covered with home made blankets and caribou skin. Inside, there was a bonfire, and the shaman was stirring something in the pot as David took Linda inside. The old man seemed pleased to see them. "Good, you are here."

Linda was put in the ground, still wrapped in a bundle of clothes and blankets. David got out of the cave, and the shaman turned his attention to a small tray with burning coal set onto the bonfire. He held out some leafs and showed Linda. "These are traditional healing herbs. I will put them in the fire, and they will produce smoke. You can inhale the smoke, and it will not make you harm. Quite the contrary, the smoke will help you get into the spiritual world. There your healing will begin."

Linda had her eyes wide. "Spiritual world? How will I get there?"

The shaman's voice was patient and clear. "It will seem like a dream. I will help you through the process. But today is only a first step. Remember: your healing will not begin until your spiritual guide leads you in the spirit world."

"I don't understand." Linda was getting alarmed.

"There is nothing to be afraid. This is the traditional way of healing. It begins like this."

"Can you explain it to me once more?"

"Today is the first time you go in the spiritual world. That is the place where you will begin to heal. Your spirit guide will appear to you and then you will begin to heal. But this will not happen today."

"And what will happen today?"

"Today you will take what you need. For that, you will get in the spiritual word. It often appears as a huge door, or a smoke curtain, or some sort of passage, so you can get in there. Then, you take what you need."

"Pardon me? I don't understand that 'taking what I need' part "

"Your body is ill because your spirit is ill. It is ill because it has needs that are not being met. Now is the time to begin taking what your spirit needs."

"How will I know what it is and how much of it I need?"

The shaman smiled. "You will know, and you will get just what you need, as long as you have no fear. Can you do that?"

Linda took a deep breath and said. "I can try, sir. That is all I can promise."

His smile grew wider. "That is all that is required. Remember I will be here in the real world, should you need anything. You will never be alone."

Linda smiled, feeling reassured. "Thank you."

"That is what we do. You close your eyes and I will put the herbs on the fire. You close your eyes and wait. Don't worry about falling asleep. It will be alright. Now, close your eyes and just try to breathe."

A little expectantly, Linda obeyed. In minutes, her nostrils picked up the smoke and the pungent scent coming from those herbs. Through her closed eyelids, she concentrated on the smell and noises, such as the crack of the leaves in the fire, or the quiet ruffling of the fur clothes she was wearing.

Suddenly, even through her closed eyelids, she saw what seemed to be a curtain of smoke. The shaman was right. Linda thought of crossing it, and no sooner she thought, she was at the other side of the curtain.

Strangely, Linda felt the urge to look at her feet, and to her surprise she discovered herself standing up on her own legs. She was so amazed she wriggled her toes, laughing. "I can walk!" She hopped a little, happily. "I can walk again!"

"This is the spiritual word. Here there is none of the physical boundaries of the real world."

Linda shivered as she recognised the voice behind her and turned to see if she was delirious. No, she wasn't. It was Benton Fraser, standing right behind her, smiling softly at her. She threw herself in his arms.

"Oh, Ben!"

She felt his arms gently wrapping her, his warmth all around her shaking body. Linda did not realise she was crying until she felt his fingers wiping the tears from her face. As she wept, his hands were caressing her back soothingly, his lips were showering the top of her head with small kisses. She thought could barely speak, but when she opened her lips, her words were clear.

"I missed you so much, Ben. How I missed you."

"I am sorry. You know I wanted to be here."

Suddenly Linda snapped her head to face him, swallowing a sob. "Aren't you here now?"

The blue spheres danced in front of her, his hands bringing hers to his lips. "This is the spiritual world. Neither of us is here, but both of us are." Seeing the confusion in her face, he merely smiled. "Don't worry about it, love. I am here now."

"This has to be a dream. You are here and I can walk. Either this is a dream or the shaman is using some of those hallucinogenous things you told me about."

"Hallucinogenic," he corrected. "But don't worry about it. I am here for you, that is the only thing that matters."

She rested her head in his chest, sighing happily. "That was all I was praying for. I love you so much, Ben."

Ben grabbed her shoulders and made her face him. Linda shuddered, seeing his eyes almost turning indigo with desire. He pushed her even closer to his body and whispered, "Take what you need".

Then he leaned in and crushed his lips onto hers in a demanding, passionate kiss. Ben plundered Linda's mouth with a looter's appetite, tasting tongue, teeth, palate, gums, and all he could taste. The girl sensed her desire flaring through her body, and attacked the kiss with matched intensity, her hands tangling on his dark hair as their bodies shared the common heat.

When Ben's lips left hers, she was still trying to catch her breath. She opened her eyes to find him with his hand extended to her, his most charming smile in his lips and startlingly blue eyes shimmering at her. "Come with me."

Linda was dizzy with passion, and needed no further invitation to take his hand and thought she would be led to a bed that had materialised out of nowhere. Instead, Fraser grabbed her hand and swept her off her feet with a swift movement. Everything was so sudden Linda only realised what had happened when she found herself lying on the bed and a beautiful Canadian face hovering above her, eyes gleaming with lust. Linda felt her skin tingling.

On all fours, body above hers, Ben delivered a series of small kisses on the side of her neck, making Linda close her eyes and shiver in delight. "You won't ask for what you need", he purred. "But I will give it to you anyway."

Unable to answer, as his mouth still travelled all over her neck and throat, Linda just moaned, her head spinning with the sensations her body seemed to have forgotten. Ben's husky voice returned to her ear, and this time it was almost hoarse. "You don't need slow lovemaking. Your body needs much more than that. I am gonna fuck you the way you need. I know you don't hear me saying those words, but you need them right now."

Linda was so aroused she could hardly get shocked. Besides, Ben began taking off her clothes and pressing his hands and mouth at every patch of skin exposed to him. Linda was also busy, trying to get his shirt off, then working on his pants as her mouth tried to capture his. Feelings overloaded, senses on hypermode, Linda yelped loud as his lips locked on her nipples, hands cupping her breasts. She ran her fingers in his head, and pulled him against her twin mounds, feeling the wetness increasing between her legs.

Ben drew back from her breasts and practically tore off her pants and panties, pushing them away as he rid himself of his own pants. Now they were both lying naked, panting, their sexes dripping fluids. Ben pressed his hard rock cock against Linda's belly, and she sneaked her hand between their bodies to grab it.

"No!" He stopped her, grabbing both her wrists suddenly and joining them above her head in the bed. In a reflex she squirmed, but could not get free from his touch. Their eyes met, and incredible as it seemed, Linda felt desire flaring throughout her body in such a fashion she feared she might die at the spot.

Greedy blue eyes stared into her green ones. "I want you." Ben's voice was so altered he was almost growling. "Now." Definitely a snarl.

"Yes", she breathed. "Please."

Never freeing her from his grasp, Ben used his knees to part her legs and entered her in one swift and precise movement, making Linda arch from the bed with an uncontrollable howl and causing her an instant, shattering orgasm. At least four of them followed the first one, as Ben began to pound his flaming cock inside her willing body.

Few times in the real world had Linda experienced so many intense sensations as that magical moment. Filled and complete, she took Ben's thrusting fully and used her legs to match them, trying to coax him to orgasm. But it was she who climaxed one more time, this time her muscles closing around his penis, making Ben meet sexual bliss. Linda felt his seed pouring inside her very core and almost climaxed again.

He collapsed beside her with a scream loud enough to wake up the dead. Panting, Linda raised her legs so that she was all curled up against his hot skin, feeling his heart pounding inside his chest, trying to catch her breath. She mouthed her name, but the oxygen was not there, so nothing was heard. Except...

"Don't think this stops here, little lady".

The possessive tone Ben pronounced those words made Linda shiver in arousal, and once more she found herself being rolled over on her stomach and his larger male body over hers. Kisses were bestowed all over her back, making Linda shudder with desire. Her legs were already spread, her lower body was moving, hips craving the contact with Ben's already erect penis. Also, she was totally excited again, feeling her body in flames. It was impossible, but apparently that the laws of physics did not apply in the spiritual world.

Then that hoarse voice sounded again. "Say it, Linda. Tell me what you want."

It was sheer torture. "Ben, please", she whimpered.

"I want to hear it."

"Inside me," Linda blurted. "Please, Ben, take me!"

The urgency in her voice was matched by the force of the hands that grabbed her hips and pushed her body in an attempt to touch his throbbing sex. Something about this whole situation made Linda wild with desire and totally unable to control herself. Her brain was turned into pudding and her whole body seemed to be one huge nerve ending, now capable of sensing things she thought were gone and lost forever. The wetness between her thighs increased as she realised Ben was playing with her, pressing his cock all over her juicy folds and using his hands to rub her clit, teasing, enticing, making her groin alive. Linda squiggled, babbled endlessly and saw stars behind her eyes, her breathing almost forgotten, her head dizzy. Ohmygoohmygodohmygod

"BennyBennyBennyBennyBennyBennyBennyBenny"

When Ben finally entered her, she climaxed so long and so hard someone might think she was having some sort of seizure. Her body was charged up to the point she might have had a series of orgasms packed up in one point, and she shrieked of pure pleasure before nearly passing out. Her muscles turned to liquid, her body went limp, and it took her several minutes to remember how to restart the process of breathing.

Linda became aware of herself again when she felt soft warm lips roaming through her stomach. She did not remember turning over again on her back, or being sprawled over the bed. Looking down, Linda saw Benton intently pressing his lips all over her skin, his hands moving down to her legs, gentle caresses alternated with rough desire. This was not the first time he did that. However, now she could feel it. She shivered just to think about this.

Ben kept on kissing her body, rekindling sensations the paralysis prevented her from registering. Linda also felt free from her need to deny her body's needs. He looked up at her, eyes twinkling, then he smiled and did not stop bestowing kisses, heading down. "I love you."

Linda smiled dreamily. "I love you, too."

More kissing below her navel. "I want you." Sweet kissing at the top of her left thigh. "I want to make you scream." Kissy-kissing on her right thigh. "Let me make you scream."

She laughed softly. "Ben, I don't think we can take any more of this." But Linda was much aware of his caresses quite near her pleasure centre. There was a slow but steady stirring of arousal in her groin, and Ben took a firm position with his head between her legs. Oh, Lord, please help me. "Benny, we can't possibly... Oh..."

"Here we can". Ben spread her legs wider, lowered his head and licked the inside of her thighs, making her hiss. "We can do everything here." Now he nibbled lightly and Linda shuddered, her breathing already altered as she moaned helplessly. She was getting aroused again. And she could hardly believe it.

"Oh, Ben. What are you doing to me?"

Did she say it loud?

"I am fucking you. I intend to keep fucking you."

Did he really answer that? And why was he flashing her that sly grin?

Linda thought it was a very, very weird dream, but it was so full of wonderful sensations she did not want to wake up. On the other hand, there was a chance the shaman might -

"Ben!"

All Linda's thoughts dissolved instantly when a rough and mobile Mountie tongue reached her wet sex and sent her straight to a state of total excitement. Linda expected those tissues to be tender and sensitive due to the recent over-activity, but that was not so. She could not help but buck her hips as Ben started licking her velvety folds one by one, causing her to moan loud and clear. After that, he sucked gently, and she drew her head back, arching her body, unable to contain herself. But when he raised his hand and used the tip of his thumb to rub her clit without stopping his expert tongue inside her moist crevasse, then she could not help but scream. "Oh, God, Ben!"

Without warning or control, Linda came with a howl, and automatically, used both hands to shove Ben's head towards her even though she was bucking her hips. Meanwhile he succeeded in avoiding being suffocated inside her very core, he greedily licked her hidden places, exposing all her treasures and plundering them as the looter he became. Defeated, Linda laid back, panting, exhausted and sated. She did not have the strength to do anything else but try to breathe.

Ben crawled up her body and kissed her deeply, his breath exhaling the mixed scent of Linda's juices and his own sperm. He enveloped her in his arms as their kiss deepened, but this time it had no urgency. It was just a kiss, reassuring and comforting.

Linda felt so safe and so warm that she didn't care if this whole situation was real or not. She needed that. She had been in need of that that since Victoria took Ben away. Finally she felt alive again. Because Benny was with her, she was alive.

When their lips parted, Linda snuggled to rest her head in his chest, the soft sound of his Mountie heartbeat lulling her to sleep. Then she struggled. "No, I don't want to sleep".

Ben took a lock of her hair and toyed with it in his fingers. "If you are tired, you must sleep."

She raised her head and locked green eyes into his blue ones. "I want to be with you, Ben. I love you so much."

He smiled with his eyes, something that always made Linda melt to her very core. "I love you, too, and that is why I think you should rest. There is so much to do, and you will need the strength."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the treatment is about to begin. The shaman explained it to you."

Linda stifled a yawn, and then smiled. "Most of the times he has to explain me everything twice or three times. He talks funny."

"You will get used to it. Now rest, love, please."

Her sleepy eyes tried to maintain their focus on him, and she smiled goofily.

There was nothing Ben asked her that she could deny him. But she clutched to him. "Don't leave me alone. Stay with me."

Ben tightened his grip on her. "I will be here as long as you need me. You are never alone. Remember that all the time."

Her eyes were drooping close and she could hardly say a word. "...'kay". She felt his gentle kiss on the top of her head and tried to mumble. "Lovya, Benny."

And darkness claimed her.

Fraser was surprised to be taken to the visitor's area in jail and find himself inside a booth in front of Dr. Lennyard. The psychiatrist had the phone in his hand and motioned Fraser to get his.

"Dr. Lennyard."

"Constable, I... thought much before coming here. But I need to know."

"Sir?"

"Did you do it? Did you really kill her?"

Fraser was shocked and angry for about three seconds. Then he recognised the look in the psychiatrist's eyes and sighed. "No. I would never do such a thing."

It was the doctor's turn to let out a sigh of relief. "I am sorry. That is what I thought. I always believe it, but lately... I had to be sure. I hope you understand."

"Yes. The way they have been questioning me, I was beginning to doubt it myself."

"They have been questioning me, too. They didn't even want me to come here, but I forced them. They know about your suggestion to take her to Canada, and made all kinds of insinuations, leading me to wrong thoughts. I know you do care about her."

Fraser considered carefully the doctor's words. He knew the call could be monitored. Actually, it most certainly was monitored. So his replies should be very careful. "Thank you, sir."

"Is it true about that traditional healing? Were you willing to do that?"

"Yes, doctor. I still believe it can do her a world of good. At least, it is a less obtrusive therapy, and she will suffer less."

The doctor smiled ruefully. "I don't think I would have ever permitted that. I wonder what is going on in her head right now."

"The shaman called me, and said she was a little bit frightened, but it was only because she was alone, and believed to have been kidnapped. I am confident she is being very well-treated, Dr. Lennyard."

"I sure hope you are right, Constable. When will Detective Vecchio bring her back?"

Fraser faked surprise. "Ray? Has he gone after her?"

The doctor was not even flustered by the insult. "You know very well he escaped the police when you did your little act a few days ago."

The Canadian insisted not to acknowledge the fact. "If he escaped the police, don't you think that would be the last place he'd go? He'd be caught instantly."

"Constable, I won't insist. I just hope Detective Vecchio realises Linda might be traumatised, and it can bear badly on his situation."

"Doctor, you know Ray would never jeopardise Linda in any way. If he went to Canada, as you claim he did, then he will protect Linda with his life to make sure she is safe. She will be fine."

"I hope you are right, Constable". The doctor lowered his voice threateningly. "Otherwise if something happens to her, if a single hair on her head gets harmed... God help you, Constable Fraser, because I will sue you, the RCMP and the government of Canada with everything the law has to offer, including sexual abuse. Is that clear?"

It took Fraser several seconds to recover from the shock of Dr. Lennyard's words. He had never seen the good doctor so protective of Linda before. "Crystal clear, Sir."

Dr. Lennyard hung the phone up, then raised from his chair, his eyes never leaving Fraser's. Suddenly, the Mountie realised the doctor also knew they were being monitored and had given the people trying to frame Fraser something to work on. Fraser almost smiled as he found out another friend trying to help them.

The psychiatrist turned and left the room, conscious of the baby blue eyes staring at his retreating back. When Fraser was taken back to the holding area, his heart was actually lighter.

When Linda woke up, there was no Benny around her. She was back at the cave, and felt the air a bit hot due to a little burning coal near her. Sleepily, she tried to stand up. Her legs would not work, and she was back to the harsh reality. It hit her like a ton of rocks. She literally let herself fall again in the ground covered in blankets, ready to weep for hours.

"Are you ready to go to the cabin now?"

Linda startled a little - she had not seen the shaman behind her, and tried to compose herself. "Yes, sir." With great effort, she sat up, her unwilling legs being dragged over the blankets.

The old man was smiling at her. "I will call David. Ilaqali will have your dinner ready by the time you get there."

The girl watched the tribesman step out of the cave in amusement. Dinner? She had arrived there at the crack of dawn. Where did the rest of the day go? And what was that strange smell?

Her hair had the pungent odour of the herbs used to produce the trance. Looking at herself, Linda saw her clothes in disarray and straightened them the best she could. Her body was aching, her head throbbing. If that was what she would feel before the treatment even began, then it was time to dread the healing procedures.

However, Linda had no way of avoiding the old man's treatment, and she would have to endure it. Hell, she had endured the dreadful spinal fluid taking sessions, what could be so scary about some Inui trance?

Maybe the awful part was not physical. She had clear memory of everything that happened during the trance, but shoved them to the back of her mind. She could not think of that now. The feelings evoked in the spiritual world had been so profound that Linda could not deal with them.

"You try to rest as much as you can. I can see it was an intense session."

Linda did not know where she found politeness no answer. "Yes, I guess so."

David went inside and this time asked, "Ready?"

"Yes, David, thank you."

Linda was absolutely absent. She barely registered being taken to the cabin in the dark of night, and was expressionless as Ilaqali greeted her. The bath, a ritual Linda had always participated, was nothing more than a pale memory in her mind. Ilaqali had also to force-feed Linda. Even though this time the meat was boiled and not raw, the girl was totally away. She just was not hungry, and tried to fall into sleep.

All attempts were in vain. There were memories of Ben's hands on her body, and of Ben's lips everywhere, and though it had been joyous at the time, now it was hurtful. It hurt even more that they had just been illusions. Life was so unfair. Linda made a physical effort not to cry, because she knew it would be the start of a long and heartfelt weeping. If she let it start, there was no way it could be controlled. So she just bottled up all her feelings and tossed away through most of the night.

After what seemed to be hours of those awful thoughts, Linda almost buried herself under the thick covers to try to stifle a sob. She was not successful. After the first sob, the emotional wound bleeding in her chest felt even worse, and she could not longer contain the tears. Too bad, because in a matter of minutes she was all wet, unable to breath and even more confused than before.

Then she felt herself being pulled in a very warm embrace. Startled, she tried to focus on the one who was cuddling her. It was Ilaqali, who also had tears in her pitch black eyes. They spoke nothing, but Linda saw the love and tenderness in the native woman and felt so grateful she clung herself to the round body of the Tsimshian woman, who whispered sweet nothings into her ears. She was lulled into sleep, being cuddled like a small child. Warm and loved, she finally fell into sleep.

Harsh whispered voices woke Linda up the next morning. Sleepy and strangely slow, she craned her neck from the covers and saw the shaman talking sharply to Ilaqali, in their language. The native woman seemed ashamed, and Linda heard her own name spoken between those strange words. Then she connected the dots.

"No, please, don't", Linda pleaded, and attracted their attention. "If you are angry at her, it is all my fault. I am to blame. She was just trying to help."

"You are very kind, Linda. But she knows you must not be disturbed. It is part of the healing process."

The girl was horrified. "She did not disturb me. Ilaqali comforted me. She was so nice. I did not know it was wrong. I am sorry, shaman, I am so sorry." Linda was on the verge of tears. Her selfishness had brought punishment over Ilaqali, who had treated her so well. "I don't want Ilaqali to suffer, please."

The shaman looked at her sharply, his eyes squeezing intensely. Then he inhaled. "I will call David. You come now."

Linda shivered at the tone of his voice and began to dread what was about to come. The first time she experienced the herbs she felt bad and the shaman was in a good mood. Now he was in a horrible mood, and it seemed she was in for another herbal experience. How would she come out of it?

She was hastily prepared and arrived at the cave deeply frightened. David took her inside a sort of tent built inside the cave, where the shaman was waiting. There was already a small fire burning, and leaves that were producing smoke. It smelled different from what she inhaled before. It was really hot, too. There was no other light other than the small bonfire inside, and Linda found that extremely creepy

"This is the sweat lodge", explained the shaman. "This is where the treatment is held. It is also held here", he pointed her head, "and here", he pointed her heart. "Remember, you must not be afraid. You will never be alone."

Linda merely nodded, her eyes big. The shaman smiled, and softened his voice. "I am sorry for what happened in the cabin. I guess you should know that Ilaqali is also in treatment." Linda's eyes got even wider, and the shaman came into the light. "Yes, she is also sick in her heart."

"She is nice, it is hard to think she is sick."

"Last winter, Ilaqali was expecting her first grandson. Her daughter was almost your age, only a couple of years younger. There was an unfortunate complication. Both child and mother died. Ilaqali became very sad."

"What an awful thing." Linda was shocked. "She must have suffered a lot."

"The problem is, she is still suffering. She has not let it go, so the wound still bleeds inside her heart. She has volunteered to take care of you, and I was against it."

"Why?"

"Because she has a hole in her heart, and I was afraid she might want you to fill it. She tried to do that last night."

"Couldn't you be exaggerating just a bit? She was so nice, and it -"The shaman interrupted her. "Ilaqali asked me to adopt you, so she could take care of you the rest of your life."

Linda was shocked. Time reeled. She could not breathe. Adoption?

Adoption had been a word of her childhood, one that she often associated with impossible things. While she was on the orphanage, she heard the word a lot, and many times the other children would taunt her, saying she would never be adopted because she was a freak and nobody wanted her. It had hurt Linda so much that she had withdrawn within herself, and she shut the world away. Until Dr. Lester came along, and then Dr. Lennyard, Linda was oblivious to the outside world. Adoption was a word with so many different meanings to her that Linda always felt an impact every time she heard it.

And now she had almost been adopted?

"But... but... I am not staying here. I don't live here. Doesn't she know that?"

"You have to understand. When she looks at you, she does not see you. She sees a baby, probably her grandchild."

"A baby? But I am a grown-up."

The shaman shrugged. "You can't walk, you can't talk, you have to be fed - you are a baby to her. And she wants to take care of you."

"Oh, dear." Linda was stupefied.

"Now, don't worry about it. And actually, I think that thanks to you are in order. Ilaqali has been lucky to have you. Without knowing it, you have been helping her recovery as much as she has been helping you."

Linda thought for a second, and just nodded, relieved. "I am glad I have been able to help her. She has been very good to me."

"Now, about your own treatment," the shaman went on.

Linda jumped to say. "Yes, about the treatment. I don't feel good. Could I be spared today? I could work double tomorrow, I promise."

The old man smiled at her naïveté. "This is precisely the kind of reaction that makes this moment the best for the treatment to begin. We should do it now." Linda hesitated. "Linda, do you trust me?"

"Yes, sir. I do." But her voice was a little cracked, and she could not suppress a shiver.

"Then there is nothing to be afraid. Remember: this is your treatment. There is nothing here you can't handle. Remember this."

"Alright", she tried to muster courage, and asked, "So what do I do?"

"Close your eyes and go back to the spiritual world. There you will find your spiritual guide for this treatment. Then you will know what to do. I will help you, so we can start when you are ready."

"Yes, Sir." Linda closed her eyes and followed the shaman's gentle voice. Slowly, she began to relax her muscles and unknowingly her body fell to the ground. After that, there was a sort of smoke curtain in front of her and she went right through it.

Linda saw herself standing in an ice field. She could walk again, and this time it was no surprise. She looked around. It was daytime, in a field of pristine white snow, some trees a few miles away, mountains on the background. It was beautiful, and it should be cold, but Linda did not feel it.

One thing was strange, though. Linda was quite alone. She could see no one around.

"Shaman?"

A voice came from behind her. "He is not here".

Startled, Linda turned around and saw a woman standing very close to her. She was lithe, her body covered in very warm clothes, such as fur and mukluks, very similar to the ones Ilaqali wore. Her hair was dark and was worn in braids. She had big warm eyes, and looked a little older than Linda, but not much. There was a softness around her, and there was also an emotion Linda could not quite place.

"Sorry." A warm smile. "Didn't mean to startle you."

Linda was embarrassed. "No, it's... I could not see you coming."

"You thought the shaman would be here. He could be, but not now. I was sent to you."

"Are you my spirit guide?"

"I am as much your guide as you are mine, Linda."

Linda stared at the woman and almost winced. Again that kind of talk the shaman liked so much. Did everyone who walked in the spirit word talk in that strange way?

The woman smiled. "I see you could use a little guidance. Why don't we go over those trees?"

Linda nodded and followed the woman, feeling the snow giving away under her feet, watching the footprints she was leaving behind. The woman was leaving no trail, and Linda shuddered when she realised that.

"Where are we?"

"This is a field. You can say it is my home of some sort."

"I am not used to these situations", said Linda. "I apologise if I give you trouble of any kind."

"Oh, no dear Linda, you don't trouble me at all."

"You know my name?"

"If you expect me to guide you, I must know a bit about you. Wouldn't you expect that?"

Linda shrugged, and kept walking. "Yes, but Ben says sometimes we better not expect too much and just live things as they are."

The woman stopped just to smile warmly. "Very wise."

They were walking among the trees, and the air was clean and crisp. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Am I allowed to know your name?"

The woman resumed her walking, and the smile became enigmatic. "What does your heart say about it?"

Linda decided to be honest. "That you won't answer me, no matter how much I ask."

The woman laughed a little, a soft sound. Then she pointed. "We are almost there."

The girl looked ahead and was surprised to see a log cabin appearing in the middle of the pine trees. "I used to live here with my family. I like it very much."

"Family?"

"Husband. And a son. We were happy."

"Aren't they in there?"

"No, they are not."

Linda felt confused. "But this is not real, right? I mean, this is the spirit world. Nothing prevents them from being in there, right? I mean, they could be in there."

The woman became sad. "It is a little bit complicated, Linda. But you must know that the spirit world is not a fantasy world. It just a different reality. In this reality we get in touch with things that are not available in the waking world."

"This seems serious. But I don't understand how it really works."

"I don't think you're supposed to understand, Linda," said the lady, as she climbed the first steps to the house. "We are here. Come inside."

Linda stepped in and saw a warm, cosy cabin, made entirely of wood, a fireplace providing light and heat. It was not big, but it was much lighter and cheerful than the Tsimishan one she was sleeping in. There were plenty of hand made things, such as towels and embroidery on the tables and a quilt on the bed. Linda was enchanted. "It is beautiful."

"Thank you. Come in, I will make tea for us."

"Thank you, Miss... Or Mrs... Er... If you won't tell me your name, how should I call you?"

The lady was dealing with pots and pans, to make the tea, and kept doing that. "The shaman did not tell you his name either. How do you call him?"

"Shaman."

"How do you think you should call me?"

Linda thought for a few seconds, then sat on a rug near the fireplace. "Lady Guide?"

"Do you like that?"

"No, not really. What about Guiding Lady? I like Guiding Lady."

The lady smiled. "Then Guiding Lady it is. It suits me, I guess. You really could use some guidance."

"I still don't know how this is supposed to help me."

"It will, Linda. I am sure it will help you. You are very sad."

It was Linda's turn to look away. "I just miss Ben, that's the reason I am sad. I love him very much."

"But there is something more to it, isn't it, Linda? Actually, I would say that there are some things that you won't admit even to yourself."

Linda felt that confusion that came whenever they talked like that. "I am not sure I understand what you are saying."

"What I am saying is not important. The important thing is that you realise what you feel and why do you feel these things."

"I still don't understand. I love Ben, but I can't say why I love him."

"Have you loved anyone before him?"

"No. I never had a boyfriend in my life."

"I did not ask about boyfriends. I asked if you ever loved anyone else before Ben."

"Well... I was very fond of some people I met on the clinic. There was also Dr. Lester, of course, and then Dr. Lennyard. But I can't say I love any of them."

"Do you remember your mother?"

Linda felt a familiar pang on her chest. "No. I try, but I can't."

"Don't you remember loving her?"

"No. She died when I was very young. I was only a baby, the doctors said. Then my father..." She stopped, swallowing a sob of pain as she looked down at her hands in her lap, trying to block those horrible memories. "My father... could not take care of me."

Linda raised her head and shivered. She was not in the log cabin with the Guiding Lady anymore. She was in a dark and small room, and there was a small child on the floor, not more that four years old, a little girl in dirty rags, huddled in the dark, horribly bruised, totally terrified. Though she cried, she did not produce a single sound. The place was dirty, with one dirty mattress carelessly thrown on the floor, and the smell...

Linda recognised the smell. It was the smell of her childhood. It was a mix of human sweat, alcohol, stale urine, dirty diapers, food remains, and semen. She felt the urge to throw up when she realised the small child was herself. Somehow she knew that this scene was a memory or a re-enactment of her earliest childhood.

Suddenly, the door was violently opened and almost came down. There was a silhouette by the door, a man swaying. The stink of alcohol and sweat inside the room was increased by a geometric scale. Linda acted on instinct. She dropped to her knees, tried to hide her face and hugged her legs to her body, tears falling from her closed eyes. "No Daddy... Please don't Daddy..."

The door was shut with more violence, and there were shouts. She was told how useless she was and how she was only good for one thing. Linda awaited the first blow to fall upon her. "Nodaddypleasenodaddypleasedon'tdaddypleasedon'tdaddy."

The blow did not come. Curious, panting, Linda raised her head and opened her eyes. Everything was changed, except her position.

Now she was in a hospital bed, in a large infirmary, and there were at least 30 beds in the huge and bright room, all white. There were other children there, and she sat up on one bed, right beside the little girl that was her. The girl was a little older, maybe eight or nine years old, her eyes seemed devoid of emotion, and she lay curled on the bed, silently staring at nothing.

A noise on the door startled Linda, and she turned to see an orderly or nurse coming inside with a tray with soup and a glass of water. The man was not in a good spirit.

"OK, time to chow, kid."

Linda turned around and found all other children gone. Ignoring Linda totally, the orderly came up to the little girl's bed, put the tray beside the bed and turned the child until she was lying on her back. With dawning horror, Linda realised what was about to happen.

The man kneeled on the bed and spread the little girl's legs. Without emotion, the child looked away as the man positioned himself in between her legs, already unzipping his pants before raising her little white skirt. Not a noise was heard, and Linda closed her eyes tight, her body trembling as she suppressed a shout, hugging her own arms. But she could not stay quiet for long. In a matter of seconds, she was screaming, and thrashing.

Before she knew it, she was enveloped in loving arms, comforted by a soothing voice. Surprised, Linda looked up and found herself in the arms of her Guiding Lady, in front of the fireplace in the cabin. She was still screaming, and suddenly she stopped, making the noise seem to echo away in the silent room. The lady's dark eyes were staring at Linda's filled with love and pain.

"Oh, my poor Linda. You suffered so much. No little child should suffer that way."

Even though she tried to control herself, Linda was clutching to the Guiding Lady, shaking all over, weeping. She had always thought those horrible memories were gone and buried. How come they had struck her so violently?

"I am s-sorry," she tried to say, sobbing painfully. "I thought I... Thought I could handle it."

"It is OK, shhhh."

The woman was still gently stroking her back, letting Linda curl around her waist. Linda found that very relaxing, and she sobbed a little more. "I... I could not... watch it.... There was... nothing I could do... Could not see it..."

"You didn't have to go through it. If this situation appeared to you, it means you should do something about it."

"What could I do? It's... my past. It is gone... There is nothing I could do to change it."

"Yes, you can, Linda. You could have stopped it."

That made Linda sit up and see the Lady, puzzled. "No, I cannot. It has already happened. That was my past."

The Guiding Lady explained gently to her. "Remember I told you that the spiritual world was sort of an alternative reality? It means you can deal with that. You can do something about it."

"How can that be?" asked Linda, wiping her tears. "I was that little girl, I was there, that was the past and there was nothing I could do."

"No, Linda. Now you are grown up. That little girl was you, but it is not anymore. You could have stopped the little girl from getting hurt. She cannot do that, because she is very young and fragile. You have grown up, and you are strong now. You can stop whoever wants to keep hurting the little girl."

"But I can't do that by myself." Linda was surprised. "I am alone."

"Oh, Linda, Linda." The Lady smiled gently at her, looking at the tears in her face, the green eyes golden with the firelight. "Have you forgotten? You are never alone here."

Linda was still very amazed. "Do you really mean it? Do you say I can... fight back?"

"Of course you can. I think that maybe that was why you were taken to that situation. It is about time you save that little girl, Linda. You have been hurting ever since. And this hurt, this fear, has been making you a lot of damage. You see, it pops up every time you need to feel safe and strong."

Linda took a deep breath, feeling confused. "OK, I got that part about the little girl and me. I know now that I can fight back here in the spiritual world. But this I don't understand. I need to feel safe and strong?"

The Lady caressed her face with a tender smile. "Maybe we could talk more later on. Because now I guess you should focus on the little girl. She will be needing your help soon."

"Really? How do you know?"

"Another thing you should know about the spiritual world is that it is very flexible and totally subjective. It changes depending on your perception. It means that now that you know you can fight back, you probably will be called to do so."

Linda shuddered and threw herself at the arms of the gentle lady. "I am so scared."

"Remember: you will never be alone."

Once more, Linda was curled in the lady's waist. It felt so good. She felt safe and cared for, and loved, as she usually did in Fraser's arms. She missed him so much. Tears began to fall freely, and Linda closed her eyes, the image of Ben's face appearing in her mind's eye, as a balm against all that pain.

Linda decided it was time to really fight back, so she sat up, trying to wipe her tears as she said, "I guess I should prepare to - "

She could never finish the sentence. Her green eyes were staring straight at her father's grey ones. This time, she shuddered, it was her real father, not that man sent by Victoria to pose as her Dad. In an impulse, she stepped back, heart almost stopping and yelling, "NO!!!!"

But, as if everything was a dream, she felt her muscles going numb, her eyes growing wide. The man lunged past Linda, and grabbed the small girl crouched in the floor, trying to hide in the corner of the darkroom. Even before he could touch her, the child begged loudly, "No Daddy please!"

He whacked the child, hard, and the fragile body hit the filthy ground. The man knelt above the kid, ripping off her little dress. Linda gasped again: she knew what would happen next. And her brain seemed stuck in two words. Fight back.

Without thinking, eyes blind by fear and rage, Linda charged against the man. Hands round in fists, she began to scream and hit the man as hard as she could, as much as she could, anger driving her muscles. She could barely see, and the scene was once more painted like a dream, and she screamed, screamed, screamed...

There was someone calling her name. Linda heard it from afar, very very far away, as if in a dream, and then it became nearer, and nearer. There was another noise, and she could not see anything but blurs. She was tired, but she tried to get herself together, at least focus her eyes again. And she was surprised.

The noise (her screams) had stopped, she was panting out of breath, body covered in sweat and tears. The place was not what she could expect.

"Shaman?" She heard her voice and it sounded all wrong.

He smiled. "Welcome back, child."

Linda looked around. She was in that tent the shaman called the sweat lodge, a sharp noise of burnt herbs reached her nostrils, and now her legs were useless again. Everything suddenly seemed so confusing. The abrupt transition from the spiritual world to the real world drained Linda from the rest of her energy.

"I don't feel so good", she mumbled, trying to support herself.

"That is expected," assured the shaman. "Great impact is taken on the first time at the sweat lodge. Now you rest. Eat, sleep. Then you return."

Linda sniffed the air. "Is it OK if I take a bath, too?"

The old man laughed. "I will call Ilaqali to give you a shower. What do you say?"

That made Linda's eyes grow wide. "A shower? It's been weeks since I last took one. I would love it, thank you."

"Good. Now wrap yourself in a blanket. It is colder than inside the sweat lodge."

The door of the cell opened violently, snapping Fraser from his light doze. The guard poked him, saying. "Hey, Canadian guy. Come on. You've been sprung you out."

Out? After all that time? Fraser did not say a word loud, and left the cell without further ado. He was taken outside the holding area, to some administrative booth where he signed a form and was shoved his red tunic back and a few belongings, too. The guard then pointed the door and he opened it.

He found Inspector Thatcher on the other side, and his chest tightened. She had a man by her side, probably the new lawyer sent by Ottawa. They were both silent, and seemed quite angry. Then her voice (her bitchy voice, he realised) was flying through the air. "Let's go, Constable."

Fraser could not refuse or argue. He just walked by her side, thinking he would love to go home and sleep for a week, but then he realised that going home and not finding Linda there would hurt more than anything he could think. The Mountie ignored the looks he received from the guards as he walked out.

They went to the consular car, and the man took the wheel. So, he was just the driver.

"We will go to the Consulate, where we can discuss this whole unfortunate incident." Thatcher's voice seemed softer. "I don't believe for a moment that Linda is dead or that you killed her. But I wonder why Vecchio is taking so long to bring her back."

Fraser was painfully aware that Ray had been missing for two whole weeks. "Yes, Sir." A pause. "Did you enjoy your training in Ottawa?"

She looked at him, staring his face as if he had grown an extra head. "It was very... instructive, Constable. But it seems all the fun was waiting until I got back."

On to part 5.