In case you forgot for some dumbshit reason...This is the "Ballstastic Two" section...Scotty n Roniya Baltimore. This is the section where we fuck with people in IM, its like...crank yankers, only me and scotty make it look good ;) This page is on popular demand wit the regulars, and if youre readin this youre prolly one of those bored ass mother fuckers, yo. Well we gots it for you an new IM abuses will be poppin out.

FRESH OUT THE MOTHER FUCKING BALTIMORE KITCHEN, A NEW IM ABUSE!!! Enjoy the fucker, yo. Oh, a lil commentary, Scotty was in chat an axed if there was any ladies lookin for "assplay" like he supposedly was. Here it is!

el_gato_1976: yeah my wife is
Scotty: oh yeah?
el_gato_1976: yup
Scotty: got any pics?
el_gato_1976: yup
Scotty: i got to see what ol' jimmu's gonna be gettin hisself into.
el_gato_1976: sending
Scotty: how old are youse?
el_gato_1976: 27
Scotty: and her?
el_gato_1976: same
Scotty: cool.
Scotty: you guys on the base?
el_gato_1976: yup, how u know?
Scotty: just wild guess.
el_gato_1976: k
Scotty: hot pics, my man.
el_gato_1976: ty
Scotty: any more?
el_gato_1976: one
Scotty: if you wanna send, i wanna see.
el_gato_1976: u have pic?
Scotty: nah, but im workin on it.
Scotty: so what the deal then, brah?
Scotty: you gonan watch, jump in, what we talkin here?
el_gato_1976: stats?
el_gato_1976: both
el_gato_1976: i like watch at first then have suck me as she gets fucked and vice versa
Scotty: oh, aight
Scotty: well.
Scotty: im white, 6'2, about 205, athletic, blond, green eyes.
Scotty: anything else you wanna scope?
el_gato_1976: she asked how big u are?
Scotty: oh, you talkin cock-wise? ah, i aint small, but i aint gonna make any money with the fucker.
el_gato_1976: k
el_gato_1976: can u get on base?
Scotty: well, i can, but not tonight.
el_gato_1976: k
Scotty: my girls got my ride, and shes at work.
el_gato_1976: ic
el_gato_1976: too bad
Scotty: oh, youre tellin me, man.
Scotty: your wife's pretty good lookin.
el_gato_1976: ty
Scotty: she do girls?
el_gato_1976: she wants to
el_gato_1976: u got one for her
Scotty: i dunno, man, my old lady is gettin all crazy with wantin to go dyke on me.
el_gato_1976: ic
el_gato_1976: her stats?
Scotty: oh, shes about 5'6
Scotty: 120
Scotty: red hair
Scotty: good lookin broad.
Scotty: and i aint sayin that just cause im fuckin her, either
Scotty: if you know what im sayin.
el_gato_1976: yup
el_gato_1976: be cool if we all got together
Scotty: no doubt.
Scotty: ill run it by her, see what she thinks.
el_gato_1976: kewl
el_gato_1976: so when would u wanna hook up (just u or both of u)?
Scotty: i dunno, how bout this weekend?
el_gato_1976: k
el_gato_1976: how can we get ahold of u?
Scotty: ill be on tomorrow night.
el_gato_1976: k
Scotty: prolly about this time.
Scotty: or earlier.
Scotty: that cool with you?
el_gato_1976: sure
Scotty: aight.
Scotty: but you aint gonna try and fuck me in the ass or anything, are you?
el_gato_1976: never
el_gato_1976: i ain't down like that
Scotty: i did something like this once before and homeboy tried copin a feel, i had to bust his ass in front of his woman.
Scotty: i felt bad, cause i guess i got my signals crossed, or whatever, but it was a bad incident.
el_gato_1976: well, that ain't me
Scotty: aight, man, appreciate the honesty.
el_gato_1976: np
el_gato_1976: til' tomorrow, late
Scotty: late.

Scotty: hi.
gracieloulovesu: hello
Scotty: how are you?
Scotty: im fine, thank you for asking.
gracieloulovesu: lol
gracieloulovesu: i am good
Scotty: good.
gracieloulovesu: and glad you are fine
gracieloulovesu: lol
Scotty: thats good.
Scotty: it was hot today, wasnt it?
Scotty: my lemonade stand kicked some ASS
gracieloulovesu: lol
gracieloulovesu: how much you charge
gracieloulovesu: lol
Scotty: 75 cents.
Scotty: but an increase in my over head might result in some price spikes.
gracieloulovesu: is it spiked...lol
Scotty: no.
Scotty: that would be bad.
Scotty: its a big honkin glass, too.
gracieloulovesu: that good...
gracieloulovesu: where you selling
gracieloulovesu: lol
Scotty: my house.
Scotty: its cool.
Scotty: i use all my proceeds to buy pokemon cards.
gracieloulovesu: how old are you
Scotty: in 12.
Scotty: im using my brothers name while his girlfrined is babysitting me.
gracieloulovesu: nice
Scotty: i bought a pack today.
Scotty: and i got 2 SQUIRTLES
Scotty: yay.
Scotty: doubles.
Scotty: hello?
gracieloulovesu: hello
gracieloulovesu: does you babysitter know what you are doing
Scotty: yeah, but she doesnt care.
Scotty: shes talkin to some guy on the phone in the other room.
Scotty: as long as i dont touch the stove, im good.
gracieloulovesu: thought you said she was your brothers girlfriend
gracieloulovesu: lol
Scotty: hey, maybe their just friends.
Scotty: i dont care, im just worried about my money.
Scotty: gotta make those ends, cherry pie.
gracieloulovesu: lol
Scotty: you sure do laugh a lot.
gracieloulovesu: i just think it is funny that i am 10 years older than you
Scotty: well, its ok as long as we dont talk about bad stuff.
Scotty: right?
gracieloulovesu: yeah
Scotty: ok.
Scotty: my mom says these pokemon cards are gonna be off the hook one day.
Scotty: like worth money and stuff.
gracieloulovesu: yeah that might be true
Scotty: i think it will be.
Scotty: hey, that'll be in like ten years, right?
Scotty: ill be older.
Scotty: well, legal, anyhow.
Scotty: can i call you?
gracieloulovesu: lol...yeah
gracieloulovesu: lol
Scotty: you can share my pokemon fortune with me.
gracieloulovesu: ok
Scotty: we'll have fun.
gracieloulovesu: ok...you will take care of me then
Scotty: i would.
Scotty: i think ladies are nice.
Scotty: but only when they're sweet.
Scotty: and not mean.
gracieloulovesu: well i am not a mean person
Scotty: like my mom after she goes out drinkin.
Scotty: whoa, buddy, stay away from her after she knocks back a few.
gracieloulovesu: lol
Scotty: ok, sweet thang
Scotty: i gotta go.
Scotty: lol
Scotty: im just kiddin.
Scotty: i think she wants to use the computer now.
gracieloulovesu: ok...nice talkin to you
Scotty: my bro's a pretty decent guy.
gracieloulovesu: so you tryin to set him up
Scotty: he says a lot of bad things, but he's ok to me.
Scotty: nah.
Scotty: im just sayin.
Scotty: he says a lot of people give him a hard time.
gracieloulovesu: well you will have to tell him hi from me
Scotty: ok.
Scotty: thanks.
Scotty: and dont forget about my pokemons.
gracieloulovesu: ok...just remember me when you are famous
Scotty: i will, cherry pie/
Scotty: bye-bye
gracieloulovesu: bye bye
gracieloulovesu: be good to your babysitter
gracieloulovesu: lol

Here is another one by me...it sucks but here it is.

tackadod: I love hot pants
Roni: yeah well too bad you dont have any.
tackadod: well I assume you do
Roni: Yea, well not for you.
Roni: youre on your own there, slick.
tackadod: fine you don't have to be such a bitch about it
Roni: sure i do :D
tackadod: fiesty
Roni: yup.
tackadod: so where you from
Roni: my mommy.
Roni: Hey i have a joke for you.
Roni: do you like jokes?
tackadod: yep
tackadod: so what do you have to look this joke up or what
Roni: no.
Roni: well, knock knock.
tackadod: whos there
Roni: open the fucking door.
Roni: knock knock.
tackadod: whos there
Roni: ask me that again fucker and youll see my 12 guage staring at you.
Roni: knock knock.
tackadod: whos there
Roni: ...okay this is where the joke ends.
Roni: would you really keep asking whos there if a psycho like that was on your fucking doorstep?
tackadod: :D good one
Roni: no im really asking you, brah.
Roni: pay attention.
tackadod: ok ok no I wouldn't
Roni: and why not?
tackadod: is this still part of the joke or your physc class
Roni: well, a lil bit of both.
Roni: im interested in your input tho.
tackadod: well first of all I would look outside to see who it is, if it is a sexy chic in hot pants then I'll let you in, if not you can keep on knocking
tackadod: and I do have a 12 gauge 3 in fact
Roni: but you already asked whos there.
Roni: but you didnt have it in your pants, and before you can run to get 1 of 3 of those 12 guages you would be trying to get the one the guy has out of your nose.
Roni: now, you tell me, do you stand a chance?
Roni: i mean if the fucker wants to be really psycho he can bust down your door and forget about the fucking knock knock and say CLICK CLICK BOOM
tackadod: well the real question is are you coming in or not
tackadod: I keep the gun by the front door
Roni: really?
Roni: do you get compliments on it?
Roni: like "hey man, nice gun ya got there"
tackadod: you can tell me when you see it
tackadod: :p
Roni: *ahem*
tackadod: yes
Roni: not that gun sir.
tackadod: get your mind out of the gutter
tackadod: well..........
Roni: well.
Roni: Have you ever seen the back of a 20?
tackadod: why
Roni: just asking.
Roni: have you?
tackadod: no
tackadod: well I have but what am I looking ofr
tackadod: for that is
Roni: The guy in the bushes with the gun.
Roni: he's plannin some dirty shit.
tackadod: have you ever seen the hitchhiker on the back of a 10
Roni: noperz. cant say i have.
tackadod: you should look for him
Roni: Hm.
Roni: Do you play Jax?
tackadod: hmm don't know what it is so probably not
Roni: Jax is old school.
Roni: I used to like throwing the lil ball at my "special" brothers head (were not allowed to call him retarded)
Roni: he loved the attention.
Roni: he thought we were laughing WITH him.
Roni: hes a cool kid tho.
Roni: hello?
tackadod: yep
Roni: am i boring you?
tackadod: no I was just listening to your story
Roni: ohh
Roni: do you have any special people in your family?
tackadod: can't say that i do
tackadod: so where are you from besides mom
tackadod: and dad
Roni: Well, ma says im not supposed to say that kind of crap on the net.
Roni: shes one of those "paranoid" people, always thinking someone is out to get her.
tackadod: so you still live with ma
Roni: Well i kind of have to help her with my lil brother.
tackadod: icey
Roni: icey?
tackadod: I see
Roni: ahh.
Roni: i thought you meant you were cold.
tackadod: ucey now
Roni: what?
Roni: can you please speak english.
tackadod: ok nevermind
tackadod: play on words over your head
Roni: sorry.
Roni: so have i told you about that one joke?
tackadod: the knock knocks
Roni: no.
Roni: the one about the banana and the vibrator.
tackadod: no
Roni: *ahem* ok.
Roni: what did the banana say to the vibrator.
Roni: Excuse me the vibrator say to the banana
tackadod: ????
Roni: sorry.
Roni: wait.
Roni: or was it the other way around.
Roni: JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST!
Roni: i forgot.
Roni: fuck.
tackadod: better go and look that one up
Roni: Man, dont make fun of me.
Roni: thats just rude.
tackadod: I have a racial joke
Roni: okay.
tackadod: are you "native american"
Roni: no.
tackadod: ok
Roni: wait, i think i have some in me.
tackadod: why where there only 2000 indians at the battle of little big horn
tackadod: to late
Roni: hm, i dont know, why.
Roni: they were all out getting drunk?
tackadod: they could only get 2 station wagons started
Roni: haha.
Roni: i like my answer better.
tackadod: your answer wasn't funny, if you would have said they were drinking fire water that would have been funny
Roni: fire water...is funny?
tackadod: damn straight
tackadod: me smokem peace pipe
Roni: hm so if i told someone i was drinking firewater they would laugh?
tackadod: funny shit like that
tackadod: only if you were indian
Roni: hmm.
Roni: howbout if i said "me want to kickum white boys ass"
Roni: would that be funny also?
tackadod: kinda like I'll trade you your gold for some beads and trinkets
tackadod: yes that is funny
Roni: howbout.
Roni: aye, brah, ill give you my fuckin turtle shell i got right here for your horse.
Roni: thats a fair trade, ennit?
Roni: funny?
tackadod: good one
Roni: do you have anymore jokes to tell julie?
tackadod: me thinking
Roni: goody.
tackadod: say do you have any norwegian in you
Roni: not that id claim.
tackadod: want some
tackadod: hahaha
Roni: okay that was wickity wickity WACK!
Roni: sorry.
tackadod: I had to buy some time while thinking of joke
Roni: ohh
tackadod: or so I will have you believe
Roni: i knew you were lyin, slick.
tackadod: so can you tell me what you look like
Roni: well, i have short frizzy black hair, im 5 foot, i have brown eyes and i weigh about 180 pounds.
Roni: :D
tackadod: kick ass me too
Roni: really?
Roni: do you get picked on too?
tackadod: everyday
tackadod: and twice on sunday
Roni: it sucks, doesnt it.
Roni: and thats not even the worse, they call me crazy eyes from that movie mr deeds.
tackadod: ate least you have both your eyes
Roni: yeah, i guess youre right, I guess they cant be at one place without the other because theyre constantly looking at eachother... Roni: The glasses i wear magnifies the effect.
tackadod: walley vision eh
Roni: yeah...
Roni: you know why my name is really hot pants?
tackadod: I used to cut the bottom off of the coke bottle for my good eye
tackadod: why
Roni: ouch.
Roni: well, ill tell you a story.
tackadod: bout a man named jed
Roni: People usually think that my nickname is hotpants because they think im this real hot broad...
Roni: haha, good one.
tackadod: the cordoroy story
Roni: In 7th grade cooking class, i was trying to maneuver to get around a chair next to the hot stove, well unfortunately the boiling water spilled all over me and my pants...
Roni: The nurse called the ambulance and they took me to the ER that day..
Roni: And ever since then ive been known as hot pants.
Roni: the physical scarring is nothing compared to the emotional scars.
Roni: I mean i can handle looking like freddy krueger all over my butt and legs and half my front...Its the teasing that gets me.
Roni: you know what i mean?
Roni: exuse me, are you there?
tackadod: I understand, when I was younger I had to wear cordoroy pants and we had to run in phy ed. Well my pants started rubbing together in the thighs and smoke started coming out while I was doing my laps then all of a sudden my whole pants went up in flames.
Roni: smoke?
Roni: thats not possible, why do you have to lie?
tackadod: fire exstinguishing and the whole 9 yards
Roni: you know, do you think this is some kind of a sick joke?
tackadod: are you calling me a lyer
Roni: Im questioning your honesty...
Roni: in no way shape or form did i say "liar"
tackadod: ok
tackadod: so your are telling me your butt is disfigured
Roni: just half of it.
Roni: its not that noticable.
tackadod: well I bet it still looks nice in a pair of jeans
Roni: i cant wear jeans.
tackadod: why is that
Roni: 180 pounds and 5 foot, its hard to find pants my size.
tackadod: you can wear wranglers, that is what I wear and we are the same size
tackadod: that way when you bend over it says WOW
Roni: :">
Roni: i never tried wranglers...but i do wear sweatpants, those are comfortable.
Roni: i have a pair in almost every color, from black to pink.
tackadod: well that is good
Roni: yeah, except it doesnt get the guys.
tackadod: well you just have to comb that black matty hair a different way to get their attention
Roni: i dont know, im thinking of shaving it.
tackadod: whys that
Roni: So i dont have to put up with it.
Roni: besides, it gets hot here during the day and jimmys lemonade stand down the street isnt helping much.
tackadod: what do you mean not helping
tackadod: are you friends with Timmy
Roni: Well, you know when its hot outside, you want to have some lemonade and this kid Jimmy i know has a lemonade stand and he helps me out sometimes.
Roni: i get lemonade, and help the kid out at the same time...besides hes so cute.
tackadod: icey
Roni: What do you do on hot days?
Roni: Do you have a lil jimmy down the street?
tackadod: no he is timmy he is in a wheel chair
tackadod: he doesn't have lemonade
tackadod: I have to drink from the hose
Roni: TIMMAY!
Roni: now thats just stealing jokes from South Park.
tackadod: am not
Roni: Im not dumb, i do watch TV
Roni: TACO FLAVORED KEESES FOR MY BEN!!
tackadod: I can't watch tv
Roni: why the fuck not?
tackadod: dont' you remember I only have 1 good eye and I need a coke bottle for that 1
Roni: oh yes, i forgot.
Roni: So do you like exotic movies?
tackadod: like what
tackadod: debbie does dallas
Roni: hm, i have this new one i just watched earlier, Babes with booty.
Roni: that one was great.
tackadod: never seen it
Roni: Well i dont give a shit about debbie, or dallas for that matter.
Roni: but babes wit booty...dayum
Roni: its like the baby got back video, only totally naked.
tackadod: and you like that stuff
Roni: well doesnt every bi girl?
tackadod: damn
Roni: i dont like beanpole dames in the magazines.
tackadod: I was just gonna mention that bi thing
Roni: yeah.
Roni: i am bi.
tackadod: so you like to lick or be licked
Roni: why?
tackadod: just wondering since I am not bi
Roni: Well, personally, some people think im weird for this but i like it when a girl runs her tongue around the rim of my um...you know.
tackadod: hmmm fascinating a sort of rim job
Roni: no.
Roni: my you know ;)
tackadod: oh the other "box"
Roni: ?
Roni: Box?
Roni: no no
Roni: my...you know ;)
tackadod: just spit it out
Roni: belly button!!
Roni: OMG that is the absolute best fuckin feeling in the world.
Roni: have you ever had that
Roni: ?
tackadod: um no can't say that I have
Roni: man, my last girlfriend, she did it the best.
tackadod: so is it the same when a guy would do that
Roni: I never had a guy do it to me yet.
tackadod: so which way do you swing towards more
Roni: hm. its pretty equal.
tackadod: you know what my favorite part is
Roni: which one do you swing towards more?
Roni: what.
tackadod: this is a part of your body
Roni: ?
tackadod: say when you pull your panties down the part inbetween your leg and your puss
Roni: ok, lady.
Roni: whatever butters your biscuits.
tackadod: just saying do you know what I mean
Roni: well ima woman aint i, lady?
tackadod: do you shave
Roni: yeah, only when my nipples get real furry.
Roni: other than that it isnt a problem.
tackadod: so you don't mind getting pubes in your teeth
Roni: ?
Roni: Well i dont eat myself out, im not that flexible.
Roni: Listen sir, obviously this conversation has taken a wrong turn somewhere.
Roni: I need to go.
tackadod: yep me too it is getting too hard to type with one hand
tackadod: :p
Roni: ...later masturbater.

fitt_paul_2002: hi
Roni: hey.
fitt_paul_2002: 18.m.uk u
Roni: hey, have you ever had popcorn that tasted like half jizz.
fitt_paul_2002: no lol
Roni: shit.
fitt_paul_2002: i dont know wat jizz tastes like thou
Roni: do you have something against it?
fitt_paul_2002: no
Roni: Maybe youre missing out.
Roni: tell something.
Roni: me*
fitt_paul_2002: wat
Roni: what do you like?
fitt_paul_2002: sex
Roni: wow, blunt arent we.
Roni: What is it about this sex that makes you like it so.
fitt_paul_2002: lol
fitt_paul_2002: the girls always good
fitt_paul_2002: and i always cum
fitt_paul_2002: why
Roni: Well apparently you havent had a nasty ho, like some in the states have you.
fitt_paul_2002: no
Roni: you hear stories about girls from the states?
fitt_paul_2002: not really no
fitt_paul_2002: why
Roni: kuz, there are a high abundance of girls who like their asses licked.
fitt_paul_2002: do u
Roni: me, no.
Roni: i like working out.
fitt_paul_2002: why u tell m ethat then
Roni: today at school i met a girl who found a 20 on the floor...i never found money on the floor of a public place..have you?
fitt_paul_2002: no
fitt_paul_2002: wats ur a.s.l
Roni: hm, if you found money on the ground of some place what would you do with it?
fitt_paul_2002: spend it
Roni: on what?
fitt_paul_2002: i dunno
Roni: well you cant spend it unless you know what you want.
fitt_paul_2002: alcohol
fitt_paul_2002: u
Roni: well the booze i get, you cant get a case for under 20 bucks.
fitt_paul_2002: depends wat u drink lol
fitt_paul_2002: wats ur a,s,l
Roni: youre right.
fitt_paul_2002: wats ur a,s,l
Roni: what do you think about mustard and crap like that.
fitt_paul_2002: i dunno
fitt_paul_2002: why
Roni: well you either like it or you dont
Roni: you cant just answer something like that with an "i dunno"
fitt_paul_2002: i doint
fitt_paul_2002: do u have a cam
Roni: why do you get off track all the time?
Roni: are you ADHD?
fitt_paul_2002: wats that
Roni: Attention Deficit Disorder type thing
Roni: its where its like you have a worm in your ass and you cant pay attention to what people say for long periods of time.
fitt_paul_2002: oh
fitt_paul_2002: u gone from talking about sex and arse licking to money and now mustard
Roni: well i do expect you to try to keep up with me.
fitt_paul_2002: can u tell me ur a.s.l
Roni: why is that even relevant in this conversation?
fitt_paul_2002: cos i wanna know
Roni: look, richard, if i told you my asl, then id have to shoot you.
Roni: working in the CIA isnt all that easy, buddy, im not allowed to disclose that information.
fitt_paul_2002: bye ur to wierd
Roni: im weird?
Roni: thats mean.
fitt_paul_2002: but true
Roni: look, its not my fault you have a lil smokie thats ready to pop out and you wanna try to stick it in the floppy.
fitt_paul_2002: huh
Roni: look, richard, why do you have to play dumb? You know damn well what im talking about.
fitt_paul_2002: i wish i did
Roni: I wish i had a stick right now to club you with for forgetting about me.
Roni: that really hurts me, richard.
fitt_paul_2002: who the fuck is richard
Roni: well you are.
fitt_paul_2002: no
Roni: wait no, i was talking to the fucking richard behind for you for a second.
Roni: look, you dont have to be this way im not going to rat you out to anyone
Roni: come on you know me!!! ITS JULIE!
Roni: hotpants ;)
fitt_paul_2002: girl u need help lol
Roni: fuck.
Roni: you eat alot of paint chips?
Roni: do you remember the cat?
fitt_paul_2002: no
Roni: well, fuck richard...what do you remember.
fitt_paul_2002: i g2g
Roni: hey dont lie.
Roni: come on why you gotta do that?
Roni: you broke my heart once, you dont have to do it again richard.
fitt_paul_2002: gonna go jerk off
fitt_paul_2002: lol
Roni: :)) richard, you never change do you.
fitt_paul_2002: bye
Roni: look, richard like i said im not going to tell anybody.
Roni: itll be just me and you.
Roni: like no one even has to know.
Roni: thats how it is in this CIA crap.
Roni: i can make it so me or you can be totally wiped off the face of the earth and have never existed.
fitt_paul_2002: bye my dicks hard i gotta go
Roni: well CHRIST RICHARD!
Roni: make it unhard, im trying to reason with you.
Roni: gawd youre a rockhead.
fitt_paul_2002: id offer u to watch but u are 2 wierd sorry
Roni: Sorry, jimmy is just fine thanks.
Roni: richard, you been hittin the ganj lately?

MY CAT CHOKED!!!!

Roni: hey.
nice_guy638: how are you?
Roni: shitty, what about you.
nice_guy638: why shitty?
Roni: well my cat just died.
nice_guy638: im sorry
Roni: yeah, the lil guy choked on a condom.
Roni: FUCK, shoulda looked around better for those things.
nice_guy638: wow
Roni: yeah...
Roni: i didnt bother to look under the bed...i feel like a murderer.
nice_guy638: things happen
Roni: yeah but how would you like to choke on a condom.
nice_guy638: no thanks
Roni: okay then.
Roni: fuckin kitty.
nice_guy638: can i help somehow?
Roni: well, would you try to revive him?
Roni: i mean it only happened like 15 minutes ago.
Roni: and it aint like i can call the vet, because what would i say, "cause of death was because he choked on a USED MOTHER FUCKING CONDOM"
Roni: they gonna bitch smack me with a lawsuit, yo.
nice_guy638: i doubt it
Roni: yeah thats animal neglect.
nice_guy638: it was an accident!!
Roni: but, come on!!
Roni: a fucking CONDOM!
Roni: dude, fuckin A.
Roni: im fucked.
nice_guy638: i dont know
Roni: crap.
Roni: well, would you help me?
Roni: i mean maybe you can grab it.
nice_guy638: if i could
Roni: well could you grab it?
nice_guy638: grab what?
Roni: the condom.
nice_guy638: if its dead it too late
Roni: fuck.
nice_guy638: try pulling it out?
Roni: i have big hands.
Roni: the kitty is small.
nice_guy638: use twezzers
Roni: i would but i dont have any.
nice_guy638: needle nose pliers
Roni: hm, that might work.
nice_guy638: try it
Roni: ok.

Here is Scotty fucking with someone. And i have to say, its mother fuckin hilarious.

bicurious_str8guy: hi.
Scotty: hello.
bicurious_str8guy: how are you doing tonight
Scotty: id be fine if it werent for all this peanut butter.....
bicurious_str8guy: whats the matter with peanut butter
Scotty: nothing.
Scotty: NOTHING IS WRONG WITH PEANUT BUTTER UNTIL ITS ON YOUR COUCH.
bicurious_str8guy: how did it get there
Scotty: and this "crunchy" bullshit has GOT to go.
Scotty: my stupid fucking dog.
bicurious_str8guy: what a mess
Scotty: oh, and then my girlfriends friends just left.
Scotty: and they were licking it off the couch like a bunch of retards.
bicurious_str8guy: did you have sex with them
Scotty: while they were licking peanut butter off of my couch?
Scotty: no.
Scotty: shhyah.
bicurious_str8guy: well why else would they be licking anything on your couch
Scotty: maybe they just like peanut butter. couch flavored, too.
Scotty: who knows, they're a bunch of fucktards, anyway.
Scotty: always eating pancakes and shit like that.
Scotty: slappin each other with dishtowels and making each other fry bacon. its fuckin crazy over here.

Scotty: HI! This is Stu from JOYMAKERS! I'm here to give you your SPECIAL BIRTHDAY INSTANT MESSAGE from your SECRET ADMIRER!!!!!!!!!
Scotty: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! AND TONY IS SORRY ABOUT HIS DAD THE OTHER NGIHT, AND HE HOPES THE GENITAL WARTS WILL GO AWAY SOON!
Scotty: hello?
its_meg1981: that's funny
Scotty: god, im gonna get fired if i messed this one up.
its_meg1981: yeah i think you did
Scotty: thats your screenname?!
Scotty: SHIT
Scotty: its_mel1982!
Scotty: THATS who the message was supposed to go to.
its_meg1981: yeah you screwed up
Scotty: ok, you gotta rub it in?
Scotty: dude, my boss said one more screw up and im done.
its_meg1981: yeah sorry about that
Scotty: could you do me a favor, and just act like its you?
its_meg1981: um ok
Scotty: ok, sweet.
Scotty: ok, just type, "oh that tony, what a scoundrel." (laugh laugh laugh)
its_meg1981: "oh that tony, what a scoundrel." (laugh laugh laugh)
Scotty: and a little copy and paste.....BINGO
its_meg1981: hey
Scotty: ONE SUCCESSFULLY DELIVERED BIRTHDAY MESSAGE!
its_meg1981: a/s/l
Scotty: what does that mean?
its_meg1981: are you for real
Scotty: i bet you feel all surpirsed that Tony said hi, huh?
Scotty: seeing as how it is your birthday.
its_meg1981: i dont know a tony
its_meg1981: my birthday isnt for two months
Scotty: (you have to pretend)
its_meg1981: okk
Scotty: what happens is, i make these IMs to whoever my paper says. and when im done for the night, i have to send my boss a copy of every paid message for delivery confirmation to the customer.
its_meg1981: your kidding
Scotty: at least, thats what im supposed to do, but ive been screwin up lately.
Scotty: nope.
its_meg1981: how old are you Scotty: whoever tony is, looks like he's out 15 bucks, unless i can find out who his message was supposed to go to.
Scotty: how old are you?
Scotty: (we're not really supposed to talk about this kinda stuff with recipients)
its_meg1981: 21
its_meg1981: but i'm not a recipent
Scotty: well, technically, you are.
Scotty: cause you pretended.
Scotty: see?
Scotty: im 24.
Scotty: i do this part time Joymakers thing.
its_meg1981: but technically your wrong
Scotty: no, see, i said for you to pretend, and you typed out what i told you to.
its_meg1981: no
its_meg1981: but i already did
Scotty: once you assumed the guise of whoever tony's message was supposed to go, the message was properly delivered, thus saving my job and my ass.
its_meg1981: so this is off the record
Scotty: well, yeah.
Scotty: i mean, i cant tell them i fucked up.
its_meg1981: true so after wer'e done talking i'll say ohhh that silly tony that knucklehead haha
Scotty: bingo.
Scotty: i make my quota, and i get my raise, and we're all happy.
Scotty: except for tony.
Scotty: who's screwed.
its_meg1981: basically
Scotty: i kinda feel bad for tony.
Scotty: dont you?
its_meg1981: nah, he shoulda given a better means of getting ahold of her
its_meg1981: lol
Scotty: maybe he just wanted to surprise her.
Scotty: you never know.
its_meg1981: maybe
Scotty: well, it looks like ive got a graduation annoucement at 7, a booty call set up at 715, an engagement at 730, and from 745 all the way to 12am, ill be doing some Veneral Diesease Testing notices.
its_meg1981: HAHAHAHAH your good
Scotty: good how/.
its_meg1981: funny
Scotty: how is this funny?
Scotty: i figured since this was "off the record"
Scotty: we could talk like pals, you know?
its_meg1981: yeah
its_meg1981: just is
its_meg1981: thats' all
Scotty: yeah.
Scotty: well, i guess i had better get back to work.
its_meg1981: ok have fun
Scotty: i got some prep work to do before those STD ones.
Scotty: those are always tough.
Scotty: later.
Scotty: OH
Scotty: AND THANK YOU FOR USING "JOYMAKERS" THE INTERNETS NUMBER ONE MESSAGING SERVICE.
its_meg1981: oh yeah
its_meg1981: by the way
Scotty: (this is where you type, "oh that silly tony"
its_meg1981: i looked that up on the net
its_meg1981: it doesnt exist
Scotty: dont make fun just cause we havent hit the bogs yet.
Scotty: *bigs.
its_meg1981: whats the site
Scotty: well, you gonna help me out here or not?
Scotty: cause i need you to type that.
Scotty: if not, i gotta lie.
Scotty: up to you.
its_meg1981: i'll say ohhh that silly tony that knucklehead haha
Scotty: excellent!
its_meg1981: ohhh that silly tony that knucklehead haha
Scotty: thank you.
Scotty: ok, have a good night, and thanks for being such a sport about me screwing up again.

Here is another one with me...This one was fun to do, kuz basically the dude was dumb enough to buy everything...its kinda long but, FUNNY AS FUCK THO!

ssayaingohan19: sup
Roni: nothing.
Roni: besides the fact that im kinda plugged.
ssayaingohan19: really
ssayaingohan19: why is tha
Roni: cheese.
ssayaingohan19: ohhh i c
Roni: yeah, its kind of a disorder.
ssayaingohan19: wow harsh
Roni: i have watery discharge when i go boom boom.
ssayaingohan19: wow
Roni: its real sad tho.
ssayaingohan19: im sorry
Roni: its okay.
Roni: i mean, im hoping that the cheese will stop the stuff.
Roni: but it just makes me plugged.
ssayaingohan19: hmm
ssayaingohan19: did this happend before
ssayaingohan19: and did it work
Roni: what?
ssayaingohan19: the cheese
Roni: naw it didnt.
Roni: its kind of embarrassing, in public kuz it looks like i have the runs.
ssayaingohan19: wow
Roni: so yeah, whats up with you?
ssayaingohan19: well nothing much just chillin
Roni: eating cheese?
ssayaingohan19: lol
ssayaingohan19: nop
ssayaingohan19: not hungry
Roni: oh.
Roni: i thought maybe you had something against cheese.
ssayaingohan19: no why would i
Roni: well, some people do.
ssayaingohan19: why??
Roni: fuck if i know.
Roni: whys the sky blue?
ssayaingohan19: lol
Roni: why do some whores like ass fucking?
ssayaingohan19: lol
ssayaingohan19: well your very attractive
Roni: thanks.
ssayaingohan19: welcome
Roni: whats your asl, slick.
ssayaingohan19: 20 m nyc
Roni: nice.
Roni: so, have you ever had a whore who liked for you to you know.
ssayaingohan19: ok explain again
ssayaingohan19: lol
Roni: you know damn well what im talkin about, yo.
ssayaingohan19: liked for me to you know
Roni: yeah.
Roni: you know.
Roni: look dont play games, i know you know what im talking about.
ssayaingohan19: im dead serious
ssayaingohan19: i dont know
ssayaingohan19: try to explain it to me again
ssayaingohan19: plss
Roni: crap.
ssayaingohan19: what about crap
Roni: its brown.
Roni: and crappy.
ssayaingohan19: ohhh to crap
ssayaingohan19: i get it now
Roni: are you sure, brah?
ssayaingohan19: lol
ssayaingohan19: im sure
ssayaingohan19: to take a dump
Roni: what about it?
ssayaingohan19: thas what u mean right
Roni: well, i mean whatever you mean.
ssayaingohan19: so your sayin that if anyone ever asked me to take a crap on someone???
Roni: no.:|
Roni: why would i ask something like that.
ssayaingohan19: well i dont know
ssayaingohan19: if u tell me str8 out
Roni: well, i asked if you ever had a girl ask you to "you know"
Roni: pee in her boomper.
ssayaingohan19: pee in her boomper??
Roni: sure.
Roni: why not.
ssayaingohan19: take it up the ass??
ssayaingohan19: is that what u mean
Roni: word.
ssayaingohan19: so thas what u talking about
ssayaingohan19: well no no one asked me that
Roni: i know a girl who would ask you in a heartbeat and even ask you to lick her ass.
ssayaingohan19: dam
ssayaingohan19: and she would actually do that
Roni: yeah.
Roni: i shit you not, brah.
ssayaingohan19: wow
ssayaingohan19: and how old is she
Roni: my age.
Roni: she might be a year old
ssayaingohan19: ohh ok
ssayaingohan19: but why would she do that
Roni: because, its what whores do.
Roni: silly ones.
ssayaingohan19: so she is a whore
Roni: thats what i said.
Roni: did i stu stu studder?
ssayaingohan19: ye ye yeah
ssayaingohan19: lol
Roni: right.
ssayaingohan19: so tell me about yourself
Roni: what do you want to know.
ssayaingohan19: anything u r willing to tell me
Roni: hm.
Roni: i like to fish.
ssayaingohan19: sounds nice
Roni: ima pimp on the side.
ssayaingohan19: really
Roni: without all the pimp glam stuff.. i dont get into that bullshit.
Roni: yeah.
Roni: cant you tell?
ssayaingohan19: well u dont look like it
Roni: :|
Roni: what do i look like.
ssayaingohan19: u seem like a really fun girl
Roni: but not a pimp.
ssayaingohan19: nop
ssayaingohan19: your very very attractive
Roni: you said that already.
ssayaingohan19: want to make sure
ssayaingohan19: lol
Roni: well shit.
Roni: so i dont look like a pimp?
ssayaingohan19: nop
ssayaingohan19: lol
Roni: whats with this nop stuff?
ssayaingohan19: heck i cant stop looking at u
Roni: please, do.
ssayaingohan19: well if u insist
ssayaingohan19: so your a pimp
Roni: and i paint on the weekend.
Roni: s
ssayaingohan19: wow u most get shit load of money
Roni: yeah, i get the most props from painting the dead whores.
Roni: it makes me feel better and keeps the doctors off my back.
Roni: even more so when its done naked.
ssayaingohan19: what u paint dead bodies
Roni: well theyre whores.
Roni: how do you paint dead bodies.
ssayaingohan19: wellllllllllllllll
ssayaingohan19: when the body gets shot or decapitated u have to clean it up or put make up on so it wont look so dead
Roni: im not a mortician, brah.
Roni: i PAINT...dead bodies.
Roni: on back alley brick walls.
Roni: whores.
ssayaingohan19: there u go
ssayaingohan19: thas what u should have tould me babe
Roni: thats what i said, babe.
Roni: i usually paint death scenes too.
Roni: but those are on canvas.
ssayaingohan19: were do u paint them at
Roni: i actually sold one to rob zombie.
Roni: hes got one of my paintings.
ssayaingohan19: nice
Roni: i have a small studio where i live
Roni: yeah.
ssayaingohan19: u meet him??
Roni: naw, cant meet the star.
Roni: but his people bought it from me.
Roni: on his behalf.
ssayaingohan19: well thas still good
Roni: yeah.
ssayaingohan19: did u reice his check or something
Roni: it was cold hard cash.
ssayaingohan19: ahhh
Roni: not like theres "rob zombie" money going all over the place.
Roni: yeah, charged him 10 bucks.
ssayaingohan19: well it could be like a check or soemthing
Roni: it was cash, i said.
ssayaingohan19: i know
ssayaingohan19: well u must be really good by now with all these good things happening to u
ssayaingohan19: thas good
Roni: eh, thats shitty.
Roni: paintings wont get you far.
ssayaingohan19: yeah but i bet u have alot of talent with that
Roni: maybe so.
ssayaingohan19: what about your pimpin career
Roni: theyre whores, they come and go.
ssayaingohan19: well yeah
Roni: it wont last long..
ssayaingohan19: yeah but u doing good so far in your life
Roni: well, i guess you can say that.
Roni: i couldnt leave though, even if i wanted to.
ssayaingohan19: why not
ssayaingohan19: /
ssayaingohan19: ?
Roni: well, you know how parents are.
ssayaingohan19: what they dont want u to stop pimpin and painting
Roni: well they dont like the pimpin part, kuz the whores make a mess everywhere .
Roni: the painting gets everywhere too, because sometimes i just paint myself and roll around on a canvas and call it art.
ssayaingohan19: sounds like fun
Roni: it is, but dad is always messin around with the whores.
Roni: ma is always sniffin the paints.
Roni: selling the paintings for a few ounces of smack each day.
ssayaingohan19: why would he be doing that
Roni: come on, hes a guy.
ssayaingohan19: well yeah i guess
ssayaingohan19: but still not all guys are like that
Roni: ...well i cant say that much for dad.
Roni: hes a case.
ssayaingohan19: k
ssayaingohan19: well im not like that Roni: thats good.
ssayaingohan19: if i had a girl ill stay with that girl Roni: fan fuckn tastic
ssayaingohan19: thank u
Roni: can i get your views on mustard?
ssayaingohan19: well your a cheary person
Roni: cheary?
ssayaingohan19: cheery
Roni: i dont like sarcasm, sir.
Roni: please dont mock me.
ssayaingohan19: i am not mocking u babe
Roni: ok.
Roni: so.
Roni: mustard?
Roni: grey poupon?
ssayaingohan19: do u have a boyfriend??
Roni: youre avoiding the question
ssayaingohan19: am i?
Roni: yes i have a boyfriend.
ssayaingohan19: how am i avoiding the question
Roni: i asked you twice about your views on mustard, and you totally just went right through them.
ssayaingohan19: ohh lol
ssayaingohan19: i thought u was calling me mustard
Roni: okay question...why would i call you mustard.
ssayaingohan19: dont know
ssayaingohan19: people have the fasination of calling someone names
Roni: do i look like a fruitcake to you, sir.
ssayaingohan19: no
ssayaingohan19: i tould u already twice on how u look
Roni: well, youre talking to me like im stupid.
Roni: do you find me stupid?
ssayaingohan19: believe me i donnot find u stupid
ssayaingohan19: your doing amazingly good
Roni: good at what.
ssayaingohan19: on what u doing
ssayaingohan19: u seem very successful
Roni: well, thank you.
ssayaingohan19: your welcome
ssayaingohan19: heck your younger than me and look at where u r right now
Roni: ha, thanks.
ssayaingohan19: welcome
ssayaingohan19: so your from the bronx huh
Roni: who said that.
ssayaingohan19: well in your pro it said something about the bronx
Roni: no, it didnt.
ssayaingohan19: ohhh its an x i c
ssayaingohan19: sorry about that
ssayaingohan19: cause i saw a bx
Roni: oh its okay.
ssayaingohan19: so i figured your from the bronx
Roni: oh its fine.
Roni: dont worry.
ssayaingohan19: kool
ssayaingohan19: so were are u from??
Roni: charm city.
ssayaingohan19: in what state is that
ssayaingohan19: brb k
Roni: k
ssayaingohan19: back
Roni: k
ssayaingohan19: so where were we
Roni: you were about to tell me how you were planning on taking over the world.
ssayaingohan19: ohhh yess
ssayaingohan19: well it will never work
ssayaingohan19: lol
Roni: thats havin confidence brah.
ssayaingohan19: so what else u r willing to talk about
Roni: my huge wang.
ssayaingohan19: it sure is
ssayaingohan19: really
ssayaingohan19: thas interesting
Roni: word.
ssayaingohan19: how huge is your wang as u call it
Roni: i dont think you can handle it?
ssayaingohan19: welll go ahead
ssayaingohan19: u never know
Roni: im afraid of stalkers.
ssayaingohan19: lol
ssayaingohan19: im farrrrrrrrrrr away
Roni: so are you saying that if you were here you would stalk me.
Roni: for my huge wang.
ssayaingohan19: ohhh brother no i wouldnt stalk u for your huge wang
Roni: would you stalk me for my pretty lil asshole?
ssayaingohan19: im not a stalker
Roni: oh.
Roni: so, are you gay?
ssayaingohan19: nooo im not gay
ssayaingohan19: i find u attractive remember
Roni: yes.
ssayaingohan19: so there u go
Roni: thats 4 times now buddy, youre pushin it.
ssayaingohan19: k babe i wont say it anymore
Roni: thanks.
ssayaingohan19: welcome
Roni: so since you find me attractive, as you say. that means you wouldnt mind having my huge wang?
ssayaingohan19: why u say that
Roni: well, because you keep telling me how attractive i am and you seem to be interested in my wang.
ssayaingohan19: ok here is a question
ssayaingohan19: what is your wang
Roni: the raw dog?
ssayaingohan19: what your dick
Roni: word.
ssayaingohan19: ohhso u have a dick
Roni: thats what ive been trying to say.
ssayaingohan19: so your a shemale
Roni: yes :">
ssayaingohan19: interesting
ssayaingohan19: and u have a boyfriend girlfriend
Roni: i have a boyfriend.
Roni: hes bisexual.
Roni: he loves it.
ssayaingohan19: interesting
ssayaingohan19: i hope u dont take this any wrong way were u first a man or woman
Roni: i dont talk about it.
ssayaingohan19: ohh ok
ssayaingohan19: sorry about that
Roni: do i look like a man or woman?
ssayaingohan19: honestly u look like a woman
Roni: ah.
ssayaingohan19: yup
ssayaingohan19: u do have a femanen look
Roni: well thank you.
ssayaingohan19: no problem
ssayaingohan19: welcome
Roni: so would you do me?
ssayaingohan19: well i would but if u didnt had a dick
Roni: :(
ssayaingohan19: im sorry
Roni: what if i tucked it.
ssayaingohan19: lol
ssayaingohan19: well i dont know
ssayaingohan19: what do u mean like do it to uin the ass
Roni: sure.
ssayaingohan19: is that what u mean
Roni: yeah
ssayaingohan19: well i dontknow
ssayaingohan19: why are u interested in me or something

Heres another scotty...Read it Scotty: its too bad your only 16.
jarvis_bitch: why?
Scotty: cause i figured we could go get peircings and smoke cigarettes together, but you'd have to bring your mom.
Scotty: oh, and plus, you're hot.
Scotty: but, i suppose thats not the most important thing.
jarvis_bitch: really
Scotty: no.
Scotty: wait.
Scotty: what?
jarvis_bitch: huh.........watchu talkin bout
Scotty: well...."what im talking about" is that you're hot. jarvis_bitch: thanx!!!!
Scotty: but its not that big a deal. do you like it when guys just talk to you because you're hot?
jarvis_bitch: no!!!!!!
Scotty: wouldnt you want a dude to be like, "hey, i think you're groovy to talk to?"
jarvis_bitch: sure
Scotty: oh, and by the way, one word ansers piss me off.
jarvis_bitch: fine
jarvis_bitch: bye!!

This one is Scotty in action. Funny, how at first me and him decided to fuck with the same girl. Whats even funnier, is...she kinda believed it. Poor girl never saw it comin. PS. the screen names of me and scott were changed to prevent the hate PMs.

Scotty: hey, jimmy.
baddazzbytch29: what
baddazzbytch29: :))
Scotty: jimmy, man, shit.
Scotty: the cops, dude.
baddazzbytch29: :))
Scotty: they was all OVER my shit.
Scotty: what, this aint funny, jimmy.
baddazzbytch29: :))
Scotty: i swear, man, i had to put that shit up my fuckin ASS.
baddazzbytch29: :))
Scotty: you owe me, dude.
baddazzbytch29: u like it that way or what??
baddazzbytch29: :))
Scotty: like what?
baddazzbytch29: my jimmy blazer
baddazzbytch29: :))
Scotty: i got at least 10 grand worth of heroin shoved up my bung!
Scotty: how in the fuck is that funny?
baddazzbytch29: :))
baddazzbytch29: cuz ur a fuckin idiot
baddazzbytch29: :))
baddazzbytch29: who the fuck is this
Scotty: dude, if gotta go to tony, you know he wont be happy with this.
baddazzbytch29: tony who ur momma
baddazzbytch29: :))
Scotty: you knucklefuck, JIMMY, stop fuckin around!
Scotty: what am i gonna do about this smack?!
baddazzbytch29: i wish i was jimmy but im not
Scotty: oh.
Scotty: my bad.
baddazzbytch29: umm shoveit up ur ass or something
baddazzbytch29: :))
baddazzbytch29: oh wait
baddazzbytch29: u already did that
Scotty: im lookin for badassbitch43.
Scotty: um.
baddazzbytch29: oh ok
baddazzbytch29: lol
Scotty: can you just forget everything i just said.
baddazzbytch29: thnx for the neew story
Scotty: cause that ouwld be great.
baddazzbytch29: sure why not
baddazzbytch29: :))
Scotty: excellent.
Scotty: thanks.
baddazzbytch29: i dont realy care
baddazzbytch29: bye bye
baddazzbytch29: ur welcome

This next one is me, fucking with the same girl..

Roni: isnt it tru that you once asked a 7th grader for racy pics?
baddazzbytch29: what
baddazzbytch29: hell no
Roni: well see im part of this "internet monitor" type thing and you were reported.
baddazzbytch29: what
Roni: he told me that you wanted him to touch himself while talking to you.
baddazzbytch29: what the hell r u talkin bout?
baddazzbytch29: what
baddazzbytch29: umm no sorry i got a boyfriend and i dont like umm little kids
baddazzbytch29: so anywayz what the fuck were u talkin about?
Roni: well, the kid came to me because you scared him.
baddazzbytch29: what kid?
baddazzbytch29: i dont talk to kids
Roni: the 7th grader.
baddazzbytch29: and that would be who
baddazzbytch29: i dont know ppl that r in 7th grade
Roni: well it was on the internet...he said all he wanted was a chat and you wanted him to touch himself and take pics of himself.
baddazzbytch29: ok r u sure that u have the rite person...and when was this and where the fuck was i
Roni: well our program doesnt provide that information, and im not allowed to disclose the kids name or screen name.
Roni: its policy.
Roni: the screen name the boy provided was yours.
baddazzbytch29: oh ok well if u talk to that kid tell him hes a lyin sack of mother fukken shit cuz umm i dont talk to little 7th graders hell maybe he was lyin to me and started talkin like a fuckin 23 yr old and ya maybe its a fuckin trick cuz i got lots of ppl that hate me on this internet
baddazzbytch29 (7:31:27 PM): so i dont know what the fuck is goin on here cuz im bein fukken accused of shit that i didnt do
baddazzbytch29: so im jus not understanding this shit
baddazzbytch29: so i guess whatever
Roni: well you wouldnt be accused if you werent a suspect.
Roni: of course youre going to deny it.

This is Scotty once again, workin his magic. LOL, I love this one so fucking much. Read it and youll know what im talkin about ;) DUDE THE SHIT IS FUCKING CLASSIC!

Scotty: hi, do you also chat under the screename : "hotfurAzZ456" ?
wondergurl_15_2003: no
Scotty: are you sure?
wondergurl_15_2003: yes i am sure
wondergurl_15_2003: lol
Scotty: because whatever you said to my son, he keeps wetting himself and he refuses to eat anything.
wondergurl_15_2003: this is the only screen name that i have
Scotty: hrmm.
Scotty: that is very interesting.
Scotty: i feel bad for him.
Scotty: he keeps moaning about a "teabag"
Scotty: and he cries, OH does he cry.
Scotty: hello?
Scotty: its really important my boy gets the help he needs.
wondergurl_15_2003: so get it for hom
wondergurl_15_2003: him
Scotty: but i have to find out who said whatever it is that turned him into a retard!
wondergurl_15_2003: i dont know your son
Scotty: look, i aint gonna say nothin to the cops.
Scotty: just tell me what ya said, and ill be on my way to a new healthy life with my boy.
wondergurl_15_2003: i dotn know what you are talking about
wondergurl_15_2003: this is the first time in months i have been online
Scotty: well, ok.
Scotty: but if you seen any perverts, tell 'em im lookin for 'em.
wondergurl_15_2003: how old is your son?
Scotty: hes only seven.
wondergurl_15_2003: and you are 21?
Scotty: no
Scotty: im 22.
Scotty: he aint my real kid.,
wondergurl_15_2003: so you had him when you were like 15?
Scotty: its just my wife's kid from a previous
Scotty: marriage
Scotty: but hes a good kid, and no one needs to be tellin him about fisting!
wondergurl_15_2003: why would i be tlaking to a 7 year old
Scotty: why? THATS WHAT IM ASKING
wondergurl_15_2003: and he gave you my screen name
wondergurl_15_2003: ?
Scotty: he said something about a "wonder girl would come and save him by touching him in his secret places" or soemthing like that.
Scotty: i figured you would be a good place to start.
wondergurl_15_2003: well it wasnt me
wondergurl_15_2003: for now?
Scotty: sorry i bothered you. but i have to go feed my son now.
Scotty: he's tired.
Scotty: its been a long, long day.
wondergurl_15_2003: bye

Here i am again, with yet another person. Read it.

rainbowboygf: hi
Roni: hi.
rainbowboygf: saw your profile.. your cute!
Roni: well id like to say thanks, but that isnt me.
rainbowboygf: oh darn
rainbowboygf: who are you?
Roni: yeah, thats my sister.
rainbowboygf: oh.. how old are you: what do you look like
Roni: i use that to boost my self esteem and have people tell me im cute for once.
rainbowboygf: well I bet your just cutier than your sister!
rainbowboygf: I mean that!
Roni: yeah...im like 5 foot, 190 pounds, i have spiked red hair and brown eyes
rainbowboygf: can I see the real you?
rainbowboygf: so your short and big.. thats my kind of girl ;-)
rainbowboygf: :-*
Roni: what are you doing. (note, thats the part he brought up the doodle IMvironment)
rainbowboygf: :-(
rainbowboygf: tic tac toe?
Roni: what? (another note: yes i fuckin know what TIC TAC TOE is, i was being dumb.)
rainbowboygf: never mind..
rainbowboygf: can I see your picture?
Roni: i dont have one.
Roni: im cockeyed.
rainbowboygf: wanna chat on the phone?
Roni: i hope that doesnt make you hate me.
rainbowboygf: cockeyed? whats that mean?
Roni: it means my eyes, look at eachother. im crosseyed.
rainbowboygf: I don't hate you.. I will never hate you.. Hate is a very strong word
rainbowboygf: thats ok. I have a lazy eye.. one eye looks at you while the other looks into another world. ;-)
rainbowboygf: (* )/\(*) like that.
Roni: really?
rainbowboygf: yes
rainbowboygf: yours are probably like this ( *)/\(* )
Roni: id appreciate it if you didnt make fun of me.
Roni: im a very sensitive person.
rainbowboygf: I am not making fun of you.
Roni: are you calling me a liar?
rainbowboygf: nope
rainbowboygf: just stating the facts .
Roni: yeah, i know about my defect. you dont have to remind me
Roni: thats so insensitive
rainbowboygf: stating the facts that I was not making fun of you..nothing to do with your eyes.. geesh.. take a chill.
Roni: so rainbow boy.
Roni: wouldnt that make you...gee i dunno...gay?
rainbowboygf: uh no
rainbowboygf: I happen to collect paintings of rainbows.. so I am into that.. and I think gay people need to find something other than a rainbow to use as a logo
rainbowboygf: its just plain sick
Roni: oh, my ma told me that rainbows scream GAY
rainbowboygf: no.. gays scream rainbow.. there is nothing natrual about being gay
rainbowboygf: so they are all messed
rainbowboygf: up

Aight, this dude, just went along with it, which was kewl kuz it made it even funnier. PS...i know i have a sick sick sense of humor...but its fuckin funny. slightly_messed_up_2: hey hot pants....lol
Roni: hi
slightly_messed_up_2: what are you up to?
Roni: im just wondering what to do about this problem.
slightly_messed_up_2: problem concerning men? or something else
Roni: concerning the fact that there is a watery substance coming from my butt after i go boom boom.
slightly_messed_up_2: well, for one, I'd stop using spiked anal beads
Roni: i showed my friend once and she cant explain it and she is in the medical field.
Roni: well the problem with that is...i dont use anal beads.
slightly_messed_up_2: well, then I can't help you....is there anything else going on tonight that's non-medical realated
Roni: hm.
Roni: no.
slightly_messed_up_2: asl?
Roni: 56/f/moorhead
slightly_messed_up_2: really? I don't know too many 56 year olds that talk about their boom boom to strangers
Roni: yeah, well its kind of freaky to me.
Roni: i want to know if maybe youre experiencing the same problem.
slightly_messed_up_2: nope...the only substance coming out of my ass is poo
Roni: man i wonder if its serious
slightly_messed_up_2: probably...you know at your age, you should be seeing the doctor even if your poo is discolored
Roni: i thought about that, but my insurance plan doesnt cover "discolored poo"
slightly_messed_up_2: what about
slightly_messed_up_2: "watery discharge of an unknown origin"
Roni: not that im aware of.
Roni: its sad really because...what if i die.
slightly_messed_up_2: we all die
Roni: then tim, my one eyed limp handed son wont have anything to live on but SSI
Roni: well sure we all die, but im young.
slightly_messed_up_2: true...but people have died younger
Roni: thats true too, but from butt disorders like watery substances?
slightly_messed_up_2: i've never heard of that in an autopsy so maybe you're just being a worry wart
Roni: or maybe im making history with my butt disorder.
Roni: the first person to die from this
slightly_messed_up_2: and think of it....I'd be famous cause you disclosed to problem to me
Roni: well, gee why dont we all just think about how youre gonna get rich and famous when i die
slightly_messed_up_2: well since I don't believe a word you're saying then I think it's ok to think about my possible new fortune
Roni: wow, youre optimistic
slightly_messed_up_2: well I'm just trying to make YOU feel better...I'm here for you kid
Roni: that means alot to me.
Roni: youre a sweet boy
slightly_messed_up_2: that's what my mom and grandma keep telling me

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