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Dear University of Calgary, I am interested in attending your school of higher learning. With regards to my previous failure to achieve adequate grades in the past at your institution, it was not actually me, but rather 3 leprechauns posing as me. You must understand that I took their gold and then to get back at me they kept me locked up in a tiny leprechaun sized prison where I was constantly beaten, so that they could in my absence ruin not only my academic rating but my credit rating as well. I will do better this time around because I bought a magic gorilla hand and wished to know everything. I hope to see you in the fall and thank you for your consideration. Sincerely Craig Elder |
