to fill a 2,000-square-foot house four inches deep.
If you put hair spray on dust bunnies
and run over them with rollerblades,
they can ignite.
A three-year-old's voice
is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan,
the motor is not strong enough
to rotate a 42-pound boy
wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however,
to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20-by-20-foot room.
You should not throw baseballs up
when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat,
you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows
even double-pane)
doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush
AND the words "uh-oh,"
it's already too late.
Brake fluid
mixed with Clorox makes smoke,
and lots of it.
A six-year-old
can start a fire with a flint rock
even though a 36-year-old man
says they can do it only in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire
even on an overcast day.
Legos will pass
through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
"Play-Dough" and "microwave"
should never be used in the same sentence.
Superglue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O
you put in a swimming pool,
you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches
even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks
make lots of noise when driving.
You probably do not want to know
what that odor is.
Always look in the oven
before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Austin
has a five-minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine
does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however,
make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up
twice their body weight when dizzy.
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