Horrified, Lizzie told her Grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied Granny. "Many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing to strenous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong."
She paused to wipe a tear, and continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadnt come along, he'd still be here today!