The Parable of Bullet and Lulu

"This Museum Really Sucks!"

Beware Ye Who Enter Here

Taoism: Shit happens

Krishna: Shit happens Ram Ram Ding Ding

Hinduism: This shit has happened before

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Buddhism: When shit happens is it really shit?

Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage

Confusionism: Confusious say, "Shit"

Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock, "Shit"

Unitarian: What is this shit?

Mormons: Shit happens again and again

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit

Nihilism: Who gives a shit?

7th Day Adventists: Shit happens on Saturdays

Protestants: Shit won't happen if I work harder

Catholicism: If shit happens I deserve it

Anglicans: We are the shit and We are not amused. Shaken not stirred

Episcopalians: Same shit as Anglicans, but were American and we're a thinking church

Existentialism: "Merd!"

Atheism: Shit doesn't exist and you can't prove it

Thelema: Shit if Thou Wilt shall be the whole of the Law

Masonry: My shit is illuminated, but it's a secret and don't tell anyone or we'll kill you

Knights Templar: In days of old when knights were bold and toilets weren't invented, you laid your shit upon the road and walked away contented

Satanism: We are the Queen

Sufism: Shit? We only smell roses. You're drowning in it