Gunpowder

 

Bush and Kennedy go to the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Protection against Cruelty to Animals) to pick out a dog for Sawyer’s 67^th birthday that will suit his temperament and personality.

 

“How about a Dalmatian?” suggests Bush.

 

Kennedy shakes his head. “Too friendly” he replies.

 

“A Labrador?”

 

“Too intelligent.”

 

“A Congo Bush dog?”

 

“Too quiet.”

 

Finally, they settle on a Rottweiler on the basis that it is vicious, unpredictable, and calm only around certain humans.

 

The dog is indeed very vicious and hard to handle as they load it onto the barge. Only Bush seems to have the right tone of voice to keep it under control. “Sit! Stay!” bellows Bush, and the Rottweiler obeys his every command for the remainder of the journey back to the Renown.

 

Sawyer is thrilled to bits with the dog when it is presented to him, and he promptly names it Gunpowder. Within half an hour Gunpowder chases Buckland around the deck, causing him to betray his tendency to run like a girl in front of the entire crew, who emit gales of laughter at his predicament.

 

Gunpowder also doesn’t like Mr Wellard and on one occasion he chases him around a deserted deck. Wellard finally takes refuge in the rigging and desperately starts to climb up, but not before Gunpowder has taken hold of his white duck trouser leg and shakes his leg violently. Wellard is about to lose his grip when Bush comes up on deck and spots Wellard in trouble.

 

“Gunpowder!” yells Bush. “Leave the boy! Run! Run!” Gunpowder runs over to Bush, who kneels down and lovingly rubs the dog behind his ears. “Good boy!” praises Bush to the dog. Then Bush remembers Mr Wellard. “Are you alright Mr Wellard?” he calls out to the lad, “you’re shaking.”

 

“Quite well, Sir, considering” replies Wellard, though he is definitely shaken by very nearly having lost his life to the Captain’s dog.

 

********

 

One night, Gunpowder notices Hornblower fast asleep on watch. Gunpowder begins growling, poised to attack. Hornblower wakes up to the sound of a snarling Rottweiler and immediately recoils from his predator. He thinks about using a pistol for self defence.

 

At the last minute Sawyer shouts an order and Gunpowder runs back to his master. Sawyer leaves Hornblower with this warning: “The next time I catch you asleep on watch, Mr Hawn-blower, you can be sure Gunpowder will take care of you. Yes by God he will.”

 

*********

 

Hobbs is wary of the influence Gunpowder is having on Captain Sawyer. Sawyer just doesn’t need Hobbs as often as he used to.

 

“Shall I bring your newspaper and your slippers for you Sir?” asks Hobbs.

 

“Thank you Mr Hobbs, but Gunpowder has already brought those for me” replies Sawyer before falling asleep in his hammock. It just isn’t the same anymore, thinks Hobbs.

 

Hobbs goes back to his own hammock only to find Gunpowder has already made himself a bed in it. Hobbs tries aggression: “Get out!” he yells and reaches to pull the dog by the collar but Gunpowder sits up and barks sharply at Mr Hobbs. Hobbs takes one look at the size of Gunpowder’s glistening sharp teeth, raises his hands in a gesture of surrender and tiptoes backwards out the room. Gunpowder doesn’t stop barking until Hobbs has made a complete retreat.

 

Once out of the room Hobbs has to find another part of the deck in which to sleep. It is unfortunate for him that he has to spend a most uncomfortable night on deck in freezing conditions. He is about to get his pea-jacket….when he remembers he left it in his room. By morning he is barely able to wake up from his frostbitten hands, lips and face, all cruelly scarred by the blade of razor sharp ice.

 

***********

 

Later that morning Bush issues orders to his officers. “Row row row your boat!” he growls.

 

Bush’s attention is momentarily distracted by a series of barks from Gunpowder, who replies to Bush’s pronunciation of  “Row row row.”

 

“What are you implying, Gunpowder?” Bush demands, his lips curling into a snarl.

 

Gunpowder barks some more, oblivious to Mr Bush’s growing irritation.

 

“Well Gunpowder!” replies Bush “I don’t think I care much for your tone! GET AWAY!!” he bellows, thrusting a pointed finger toward the far end of the deck.

 

 Gunpowder gives a little whine at this reprimand and turns away, its head and tail hanging low in shame.

 

*****

 

That evening Hobbs creeps down the hold and begins tinkering with things he shouldn’t be, when he senses Gunpowder behind him, blocking his exit.

 

 As Hobbs turns around Gunpowder begins barking loudly in accusation.

 

“Nice doggy! Nice doggy!” says Hobbs, his nerves causing him to use the diminutive.

 

He tries to pat the dog but gets bitten savagely instead. The dog is visibly aggressive and barks even louder at Hobbs, and poises himself to pounce on him. e makeHe Hobbs now starts to panic and tries to fend off the dog with anything he can find, his hand nervously clutching at various objects, but this only provokes the dog further.

 

********

 

Mr Wellard begins his duties at six o’clock the next morning because Mr Kennedy has requested it so. The first person he meets on deck is Mr Bush and they briefly exchange greetings.

 

Bush goes back down to the gun decks to begin the routine of early morning firing practice. When it becomes apparent that Hobbs is 30 minutes late, Bush goes back upon deck to look for him, and sees Hobbs swaying aft, sporting a rather nasty head wound along with his uniform in tatters. Bush looks him over at his derelict appearance.

 

“God, what happened to you man?” asks Bush. 

 

Hobbs doesn’t have much of an imagination and thus offers the only reasonable explanation he can think of.

 

“I fell over a barrel of gunpowder whilst in the hold” he replies with diffidence.

 

This sounds plausible enough given Hobbs is the gunner, except for the visible teeth marks in his uniform and the fact that gunpowder is never EVER kept in the hold.

 

“What the DEVIL is a barrel of gunpowder doing in the hold?!” demands Bush, and instead of waiting for an explanation he strides past Hobbs to go look for himself.

 

“Wait! Wait!” pleads Hobbs “it isn’t safe!” but Bush is determined. He swings the door of the hold wide open and goes inside. Only the faintest glimmer of light illuminates the outline of a badly beaten dog, with a heavy club at its side. And objects scattered everywhere.

 

Bush looks over the sad scene and his lips begin to tremble. Yet instincts won’t allow  him to show any sorrow. “How did this happen?” he asks quietly.

 

“I didn’t notice the beaten dog when I first came in here, Sir” says Hobbs. “I was in the process of carrying the barrel of gunpowder away when I fell over the Captain’s dog, causing myself to collide with those shelves. Somebody must have beaten the dog senseless but when I fell over I realised what had happened and that nothing could be done to save it. I then picked myself up and pulled the barrel to the handling chamber where the barrels of gunpowder are kept, and came on deck to report to the first senior officer I could find that the Captain’s dog had been beaten to death.”

 

Again Bush feels his lips trembling. Finally, he manages to say “Very good, Mr Hobbs, please inform the Captain.”

 

******

 

Captain Sawyer was devastated by the news and immediately called every man and every officer in every division on deck so that he could conduct a public inquiry into the matter. Sawyer promised that no man would know greater wrath than on this day when the guilty party were punished for this heinous crime. He then addressed Mr Bush: “Mr Bush, I know you are honest a man – please be so good as to make your report as to what you saw.”

 

Mr Bush cleared his throat and made his public report:

 

“At six hundred hours I made my way up onto the quarterdeck where I exchanged felicitations with Mr Wellard. Then after issuing an order for the top gallant sails to be set, I went back down to the gun decks to begin our routine early morning firing practice. The time was now 10 minutes past the hour and Mr Hobbs had not as yet arrived to commence firing practice, which was most uncustomary for him to be late. Also, the carronades that he was to have mounted on the stern castles at least one hour beforehand were not in position, and so the firing practice had to be delayed until the gunner had arrived to carry out his duties. I thought he might still be down in the handling chamber, making up cartridges and passing them out the powder monkeys through the wet curtains. So I gave word to one of the crewmen to go down to the handling chamber and tell Mr Hobbs to immediately come to the gun deck to man his crew to set the carronades in place. The crewman arrived back at 30 minutes past the hour to inform me that the lantern was on at the window but the gunner was nowhere to be found in the handling chamber. By now I had become quite irritated at the unnecessary delay caused by Mr Hobbs’ absence and so I decided to search for him myself. I came up on the main deck and espied Mr Hobbs laying – or swaying, I should say – aft towards me. The first thing that caught my attention was the bloody head wound on his forehead and his uniform in absolute ruin – chewed to bits, you could say. I enquired as to what had happened and he informed me that he had fallen over a barrel of gunpowder in the hold. This news alarmed me as it is strictly forbidden to keep gunpowder in the hold, and the fact that Mr Hobbs was NOT wearing felt slippers, which, as you also know, is compulsory to prevent stray sparks from igniting the powder. I rushed down into the hold to investigate the situation for myself….that is when I discovered….when I discovered….the unfortunate finding. Mr Hobbs here maintains that the incident had already happened before his arrival in the hold, his discovery which was made by his supposed tripping over…tripping over the poor beast, which led to his severe head wound.”

 

It would not have been politic of Mr Bush to give his opinion on who he thought was guilty – just a recountenance of the facts is all that he was asked for. Sawyer listened to Bush make his report without interruption, all the while maintaining a stony countenance. When Mr Bush had finished, Sawyer appeared to mediate briefly on Bush’s report before giving his verdict: “You say you caught sight of Mr Wellard at six hundred hours? When his shift should have started at seven? Thankyou, Mr Bush, for this damning piece of evidence, that will be all.” Sawyer turned on Wellard. “You! Get below! I’ll teach you to wrangle Captains’ dogs with yer own bare hands! Your punishment shall commence with a dozen lashings!” Sawyer then ordered the Bosun’s Mate to carry out this punishment.

 

Kennedy intervened: “Sir! Mr Wellard commenced his shift early only because I told him to do so.”

 

Sawyer retracted the order to the Bosun’s Mate: “Belay that order for a dozen lashings….make that TWO dozen lashings.” As an afterthought he added “AND a flogging around the fleet.”

 

Kennedy and Bush watched the unfortunate lad creep down the ladder to his fate. The two of them gazed down at the spot for some time. Kennedy then spoke.

 

“If only we could intervene. We could put an end to the pain that is being inflicted.”

 

Bush replied: “I know how you feel, Mr Kennedy. I don’t envy that poor Rottweiler at all. Imagine being susceptible to so much suffering.”

 

Kennedy opened his mouth wildly and was about to express his annoyance at Mr Bush for not knowing he wasn’t talking about the dog’s feelings at all, but Mr Wellard’s. But Kennedy shut his mouth again quickly and figured (with much disdain) that there really were people in this world who thought animals were deserving of better treatment than humans. But in Mr Bush’s mind, people were superior to animals in that they were masters of their own destiny and therefore could control the elements needed to maintain good order and discipline (or at least, an appearance of it). If they couldn’t control those elements then they were deserving of punishment subject to the most rigorous penalties of the articles of war. And he knew perfectly well what that was.

 

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