Revealed!
Wellard was the 5th Beatle!
By Olivia, reporting from Liverpool, England
BIG NEWS is soon to rock the
very foundation of Beatle teaching with the revelation that Midshipman Henry
Wellard, of His Majesty’s ship Renown, was the official 5th Beatle.
The news comes after scores
of forensic scientific tests have discovered the DNA of Midshipman Wellard
matches those of the Fab Four.
Although numerous others
have claimed or been accorded 5th Beatle status, including Pete
Best, Stu Sutcliffe and Mick Jagger, it with without a doubt that Wellard may
well have been the ‘other Beatle’ mentioned in Fab Four legend, as our
exclusive pictures show.
Other evidence has come to
light which confirms Wellard’s place in Beatle history. It has been discovered
that Wellard’s surprisingly deep and melodious voice perfectly suited the
harmonious of the Liverpudillian Band, most notably on the track “A Day in the
Life” where Wellard can be distinctly heard to sing the line “I’d love to turn
you on.”
But it was not just the
singing department where Wellard’s Beatle qualities excelled. He also taught
Ringo Starr how to read, which proved to be vital to his post-Beatle career as
narrator of Thomas the Tank Engine. “He saved my a**” says Ringo. “Learning how
to read really opened doors for me. It allowed me to become a lot more than just
Beatle Ringo. I could be Beatle anybody!”
Wellard also contributed
lyrics to such tracks as “Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite”, where the
following lyrics shows cryptic references to himself, and two other lieutenants
of the Renown, Mr Hornblower and Mr Kennedy:
Messrs.
K. and H. assure the public
Their production will be second to none
And of course Henry The Horse dances the waltz!
Wellard’s cloned Beatle
appearance, including the mop-top hairdo, also meant he was able to stand in at
the last minute when one of the Fab Four fell ill, particularly when the
Beatles visited Australia in 1964, as their tour manager explains: “Jimmy Nicol
was brought in to stand in for Ringo when he was ill with tonsillitis, but after
Jimmy became sick with stage fright there was just no other choice but to bring
in Henry Wellard. He looked so much like the other three, and the stage was
often so far away, that the audience couldn’t tell the difference between
them.”
Wellard even stood in as
Paul McCartney’s double on the back cover of the Sgt Pepper album, as the Sgt
Pepper photographer reveals: “it was recorded in Beatle legend that the stand
in for Paul was a chap by the name of William Campbell, but it was actually
Henry Wellard.”
And what is the verdict
given by the Fab Four themselves? Paul McCartney says: “We are and always have
been a four piece band. Others may have lent us a hand or a wig along the way,
but it’s always just been us four. No-one else.”
But Ringo holds a more
inclusive view of the quintet: “I have livid memories of the lad. He taught us
elegance, grace and good grammars. His help in language studies was impertinent
if we were going to get anywhere. Thanks to him, I have a wider vocabulary
which I am able to use in contest. I have a very admiral relationship towards
him.”
Story: Olivia
Pictures: The remarkable
similarities left little doubt about Wellard being the 5th Beatle.
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