Last week, Shane went on a vacation to Hawaii. While there, he won free surfing lessons from the famous surfer, Kelly Slater. Lessons started at 1:00, local time. At precisely 1:07, local time, Kelly could be seen running screaming madly away from Shane. After realizing that his teacher would not be coming back with hot dogs, Shane decided he had learned enough to go surfing on his own. He chose a deserted beach, just to make sure if he messed up, no one would see him. What he failed to realize is that the beach was deserted because there was a huge shark infestation in those waters. He went out, and was doing pretty well, for Shane anyway, which means he didn't drown. Soon though, the sharks realized he was there. The sharks, many different species, cornered him against a rock. They slowly closed in on him, their black, dead eyes gleaming in the light. They were about to gorge themselves upon Shane's flesh when they caught a whiff of him. They swam off, never to be seen again. Unfortunately for Shane, his family had used his surfing lessons as a convenient distraction that allowed them to fly back home. To this day, Shane lives in various trash cans and cardboard boxes in the alleys all over Hawaii. The moral of this story is that if you get a chance to ditch Shane, do it. It will be the best desicion of your life.
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