Rennae would like it to be known that she DOES NOT personally condone any of the humour on this page!

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Q: Did you hear about the tennis player with five legs
A: Her knickers fitted her like a glove
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Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and Martina Hingis
You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot Martina Hingis ... Twice!!
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A Martina fan dies and goes to heaven in her Hingis t-shirt. She knocks on the old
pearly gates and out walks St. Peter. "Hello" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, but no Hingis
fans in heaven." "What ?" exclaims the fan astonished. "But, but, but, I've been a
good person", replies the fan. "What have you done" replies St. Peter. "Well, 3
weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa and 2 weeks
before I died I gave 10 pounds to the homeless. Oh and a week before I died I gave
10 pounds to the Albanian orphans". "Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute
while I have a word with the governor." Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the fan in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with
me. Here's your thirty quid back, now f**k off".
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Top tip for Martina Hingis fans: Don't waste your money on t-shirts and flags, simply
strap a large inflatable penis to your forehead, and everyone will immediateley know
which player you support!
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On returning from a tournament in the Far East, Conchita Martinez was asked what
she thought of Red China. "Very nice" said the tennis intellectual. "It looks
particularly good on a blue tablecloth".
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Pete Sampras was recently voted the best looking tennis player by the Gay tennis
fan network. A lesser known fact was that Martina Hingis came a close second.
Chiefly because Martina possesses a face like an arse!
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One day Venus Williams goes to the doctors with a parrot stuck on her head. The
doctor says "Well what can I do for you ?". The parrot turns round and says "Can ya
get this blackhead off me foot".
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The bitter words between Martina Hingis and her mother has escalated, with her
mother urging Martina to "put her money where her mouth is". Martina has promised
to do so, although it remains unclear how she's going to get five million dollars up her
arse!!
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Q: What's the different between a coach full of Martina Hingis fans and an
Hedgehog ?
A: The Hedgehog's got the pricks on the outside.
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Anna Kournikova is apparently under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax
evasion, she's been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 3 years!!
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Q: How do you kill a Martina Hingis fan when she's drinking ?
A: Slam the toilet sit on her head.
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Rennae is to get a new chinese coach to help with her singles career. His name:
WINONE SOON
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Q: Why did God make Martina Hingis fans smelly?
A: So blind people can laugh at them too!
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Monica Seles has revealed that at one stage she felt so lonely that she took up the
advise of her agent and tried computer dating. "It wasn't up to much mind",
remembers Monica, "that Apple Mac was the worst shag of me life".
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Q: What do you call a Martina Hingis fan with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant
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A Rennae fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the Wimbledon qualifying results
come on the TV. The announcer says that Rennae has lost 6/0 6/0 and the dog
immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead. "That's
amazing," says the barman. "What does he do when she wins?"
The Rennae fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies: "I
dunno.... I've only had the dog four years."
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Q: What do you call a Martina Hingis fan with half a brain ?
A: Gifted
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Two Conchita Martinez fans were walking to Wimbledon one day. One of them picked
up a mirror, looks in it and says "Hey, I know that face". The second one picks it up
and says "of course you do, you thick sod, it's me".
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Q: Why did Jennifer Capriati get so excited when she finished a jigsaw after 6
months?
A: It said 2-4 years on the lid
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Q: How many Martina Hingis fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as you like, they will never see the light
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The WTA latest piece of merchandise has had to be put on hold. They had plans to
bring out a stamp with Martina Hingis on the front, but shelved the scheme after it
was discovered that people kept spitting on the wrong side.
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Martina Hingis: Why does everyone take an instant dislike to me ?
Rennae Stubbs: Because it saves time!
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Conchita Martinez was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign
that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh
well, never mind " and turned around and drove home.
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Q: What's the difference between Martina Hingis and a lemon?
A: One's yellow, bitter and best twisted, and the other's a citrus fruit!
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The seven dwarfs are down the in the mines when there's a cave-in. Snow White runs
and shouts down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Kournikova to win the
US Open" Snow White says "Well at least we know Dopey's alive".
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Q: What do you get when you offer Martina Hingis a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
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The WTA have moved quickly to halt rumours of a rift between Martina Hingis and
Rennae Stubbs. A spokesman said, "It's ridiculous to suggest that there is a
personality clash between the two, everyone knows that Hingis hasn't got one."
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Conchita Martinez visits an orchard and asks how much the apples are. "You can pick
as many as you like for a fiver" she is told.
"Great" she replies "I'll have a tenners worth"
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were exploring deepest, darkest Africa
when they came across a huge river. They were just wondering how they would get
across when a leprechaun appeared on the riverbank (It's a long way to Tipperary -
he'd got lost). "If you can get across this river without being eaten by the
crocodiles" he said, "I'll give you my pot of gold..." "No problem" says the
Englishman. He gets halfway across before being swallowed by an enormous
crocodile. The Scotsman goes next but almost as soon as he touches the water, a
croc. gets him. Finally it's the Irishman's turn. Before diving in, he gets out a
permanent marker and writes "Kournikova to win a tournament" on his shirt. He then
dives in and swims all the way across, no problem. "Thats amazing" says the
leprechaun, "How on earth did you do that". "Well", says the Irishman, "Kournikova
to win a tournament.. come on, not even a crocodile can swallow that..."
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Two shipwrecked Rennae fans are walking along the beach of a desert island one
day. One fan says to the other, "I see Rennae lost again."
Amazed at his friend, the other Rennae fan asks, "How do you know that?"
To which the first fan replies, "It's the first day of qualifying."
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Q: What do you call a Martina Hingis fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat
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