That's all it was, a never-ending ache inside his heart. That's all it was.

Never mind that it felt as though in his mind he'd been ripped apart, limb from limb, flesh stripped from the bones of his psyche, teeth and nails wrenched from jaws and extremities within his ribcage. Never mind that it hurt, it hurt more than he would ever be able to say, more than he would ever be able to cry, more than he would ever be able to scream...

Never mind all that. Come away, come away, you don't need to be there.

He could hardly see for the tears in his eyes, hardly fight for the overwhelming vulnerability he felt crawling over his skin. He was open. He was open to Her, Mother, he was open to the agony of the loss (How could he just call her 'the loss'?) he was weakened by it and She knew and he knew and they all knew but the tables were turning and She screamed her last as the ninja's blade bit Her flesh for the last time.

He dropped to his knees after the battle, held his head in his hands as though this was the end and he would never move again (Vincent would understand, Vincent knows, Vincent will leave me alone) but after forever there were hands on his shoulders (only one of them's a hand) and a tearful face close to his own begging, begging for him to get up, they had to go after Sephiroth, they had to avenge Aeris.

Aeris.

And the cold, cold eyes the colour of autumn were not so cold any more but burning with rage and agony, agony that was usually sheathed behind the aloof and the obtuse (God, Vincent, it's happening to you again, isn't it?) and the shadow-stalker's eyes were bright with tears and fury, blade still stained with vengeance that was not enough, would never be enough.

Get up.

Get up, Cloud.

They weren't going to let him stay here until he was ready, they were going to push him out. Vincent knew, Vincent knew to be kind he had to be cruel, Vincent wouldn't let them, let him hide (you bastard, you've been hiding for decades, leave me alone) let him stay.

Let me stay.

She was gone and she wasn't coming back, couldn't come back, God and it hurt and Sephiroth had to die, had to die, had to hurt as much as he was hurting, he'd hurt everyone, all his friends, all his enemies, all his life had been nothing but a lie (get up, make him pay) and he wasn't going to take it any more, he was going to follow Sephiroth to the depths of Hell if he had to...

highlight below to see the prompt:
loss

words

home