 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
The "Doofer Book" | |
|||||||||||||||||||||
| The "Doofer Book" is a collection of the funniest things ever said and/ or done by our air traffic controllers. While it may be hard to find the humor in some of our ATC lingo, we find them very amusing ... Enjoy! |
|||||||||||||||||||||||
| JT - Calls command post and asks for the phone number for the "International Guard" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| BR - "Props37, check wheels down, wind 120/6, clear for takeoff" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| RR - "Nasa907, turn left on the parallel taxiway, assist you will follow me to parking" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| NE - Horse14, an emergency aircraft, has landed and contacts ground control. NE promptly tells the aircraft's pilot, "Horse14, standby! emergency in progress" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| IB - "Airfield2, did you say there was 'FUD' on the assault zone?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| TB - tells a landing aircraft, "Props37, if able turn left at taxiway expedite and contact ground when off" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| BN - While working local control, turns around and asks, "What does the conflict alert mean?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| AG - "Horse66, cleared to Mike Lima Utah as filed" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| NE - "Chief2, tower, the emergency vehicle is next to land" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| SD - "Horse66, say again, you were run over" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| AH - "Airfield2, proceed on taxiway 25 and the assault zone" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| CA - while passing emergency information, states, "20,000 pounds of fools on board" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| RR - Bull07, did you say your controlled departure time was five zero or niner zero after the hour?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| TB - "Jody94, wind calm, cleared touch and grow" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| MF - "Jody26, that traffic will be swerving to avoid you" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| GT - "Avalon16, taxi to runway 25 via intersection echo" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| SN - "Sunset is at 25:21 zulu" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| AH - "Raven65, expedite off the runway, we have departures we need to be getting out of here" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| JT - "Pipeline81V, there is a crane off your right wing" - Pipeline replies - "Roger, we're searching" - JT - "And Pipeline81V, it's erect!" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| SD - "SOF, tower, hold short of runway India" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| BN - on the crash phone, "This is BN in the net securing the line" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| NE - "Jody15, cleared Charlie Climbout, squawk 9603" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| JT - "Cads71, cleared to full stop" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| DR - an in-flight emergency has been declared, as the aircraft is landing roll, DR says, "Hey, did you guys know his engine was out?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| SD - during the daily crash phone test SD says, "all parties respond with 'how do you hear me'?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| BN - records the entire ATIS message, but when she starts to review it, she discovers the phone wasn't even plugged in | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| JT - a month after we have moved into the new tower, JT shows up for work at the old one | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| SN - Raven21 is holding short of the runway and calls ready for departure. SN says, "Raven21, Little Rock Tower, wind 320/8, runway 25, cleared for the option" Raven21 responds, "Tower, understand we are clear for takeoff?!?" |
|||||||||||||||||||||||
| RR - "Raven14, traffic one o' clock, 4 miles, southwest bound" Raven14 - "Roger, traffic not in sight" RR - "Raven14, traffic not a factor, its a C-130" |
|||||||||||||||||||||||
| RJ - during the air show, Rock01 is waiting to depart runway 07 and there is a B-52 (Scalup02) on the south downwind for runway 25. RJ - "Scalup02, continue west bound, I will call your inbound turn" Scalup02 - "Verify that is east bound?" RJ - "Yeah, that's what I meant, my bad" |
|||||||||||||||||||||||
| IB - "Airfield Lightning, proceed as requested" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| SD - "Jody62, can I get a VH1 radio check?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| JJ - "Information Indigo is current on the ATIS" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| GN - on the crash FM net - "Tower, Chief2 is on the net" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| IB - tells Airfield4 (vehicle) "Caution wake turbulence, flight of 4 departing" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| TL - while monitoring an ILS approach states "Raven11, passing final approach prix ..." | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| BN - "Jody93, be advise, there's 2 hawks, they're circling, they're passing you!! (No response from pilot - must have been pretty fast hawks) | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| RR - (in Clearance Delivery) "Hey JS, I'm having trouble with my ETVS" ... RR was trying to change the settings on the SOF position | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| IB - "FLight Data, Ground, controlled departure, 3 at 08:67" ... Data says, "Say again?" ...IB says, controlled departure, 3 at 67 ... oops! ... Horse04, say your CTO again" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| RR - "Horse57, bird advisory, small flock of birdsabout quarter field, northbound, altitude indicates one hundred feet" ... No response from pilot, probably laughing too hard RR - "Horse57, do you have the birds in sight?" |
|||||||||||||||||||||||
| XZ - while conducting the daily crash phone test, "Tower, how do you hear me? ... Tower, how do you hear me? ... No response from the tower" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| EE - Shuttle Endeavor lands at LRAFB May 8th, 2001. EE says to EL, "How does the shuttle land on top of the 747 without crashing?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||