| MURPHY'S LAWS |
| Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. |
| Leakproof Seals -- will. |
| Self Starters -- will not. |
| Interchangeable Parts -- won't. |
| All warranties expire upon payment of invoice. |
| Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit. |
| Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. |
| If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it. |
| A short cut is the longest distance between two points. |
| You will always find something in the last place you look. |
| It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. |
| You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away. |
| The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong. But that's the way to bet. |
| The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train. |
| The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. |
| No matter how long you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale cheaper. |
| The other line always moves faster. |
| Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought. |
| A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10-cent fuse by blowing first. |
| If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. |
| Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center. |
| The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before. |
| Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it. |
| In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there. |