This is an article written by Horror From the Cornfields Magazine about my band. Please enjoy!
Watch Out Linkin Park!
The oldest child is 16 and the youngest is 15, but don't let their age
and innocent looks fool you. Mr. Mitchell's Children, an acoustic
type of band from the westcoast, makes Marilyn Manson look like Britney
Spears. It comes as a shock that the band only plays with a viola and
acoustic guitar, however, the high pitched fiddling of the viola and
minor chords of the acoustic guitar would make any listener want to cower
away with an intense amount of trepidation. When asked about their name,
Catherine, the younger Mitchell child slowly replies, "He's scary and he's
our father of freakiness. Therefore, we're his children." As she goes
back to examining her viola, one can only wonder how this eccentric duo came together.
Catherine, who started playing the viola at age 8, decided that she needed a change
in her life. "I could only take being a good girl for so long," she tells us. April, who,
at the time of the band's start, had only been playing the guitar for 5 months, agrees: "That was my
problem as well. Everyone wants you to be very nice. Everyone wants you to play nice and then they stab
you in the back--ya know. Talk smack about you. Catherine and I don't like to be something we're not--nice."
With their pessimistic views on society,
the girls, who attended the same all girls high school, came together.
However, something still didn't click for us. How these two, innocent looking girls could
be so mortifying. "We don't have to look scary to actually be scary," Catherine says. "All
those bands with the 'scary' outfits and 'scary' makeup don't look scary. They look like fools.
We don't have to prove to anyone that we are scary. If they heard our music, they'd know
that we are the real deal." And indeed they are. Their first single, "Mr. Mitchell Is
Hiding Under Your Bed" has very morbid lyrics: "Mr. Mitchell is hiding under your bed/Stay up late
or soon you'll be dead/Can't lock your door or shut your window/Can't hide your knife under your pillow/
Cuz Mr. Mitchell is hiding under your bed"
So what does this have to do with Linkin Park? The two bands have been fueding for a while, although
not as advertised as the Ja Rule vs. 50 Cent battle. When asked about the feud, Brad, from
Linkin Park, replied, "Like, I don't know what is wrong with those girls, or like, what they've
been smoking, but like, they are totally hardcore. They like, totally scare me, ya know? Like,
I thought they were so cute and nice, but wow. I was like, at this label party and they were there
sitting on the couch all by themselves and I was like 'hey is this like your first label party?' and
the one with the pigtails was like 'I'm going to rape your soul'. Chester called them psyco
and he's been getting weird things in the mail ever since. I'm scared!"
As the girls pack up their instruments, they don't even say goodbye. All they do is walk out the
door, only to leave us with one last message. "We respect Linkin Park," April says. "We just like to watch
them cringe."
Okay, let's make something clear. I wrote this article. There is no such mag Horror From the Cornfleids (not that I know of anyways), nor are we feuding with Linkin Park. My "band" is called Mr. Mitchell's Children though. It's not a real band. It's just a theorhetical band. I hope this clarifies anything if any of you, for some odd reason, believed this article to be true.
