| Don't waste any time in Mississippi To vacation there sure would be trippy You must go to Kauai But watch out for a guy Who is foul, is named Floyd, and's a hippie. |
| It sure must not be real fullfillin' To be born and raised in Dillon You learn how to fight And to smoke pot all night And when it's time to walk stright you ain't willin.' |
| A woman may look like a blimp And may even walk with a limp But take the right pills To revive youthful thrills And you'll be willin' to bugger a chimp. |
| It's not out of whack for a man To cause quite a stink on the can But praise to the boor Who can clear a whole floor With a smell that could gag a whole clan. |
| New LIMERICKS |
| More rhymes from the mind that brought you "There once was a man from Pahrump" and "Colonoscopy Blues".... |
| A kiss on the cheek's not so crass It's a way for affection to pass But to make very sure That the smooch is quite pure Kiss the cheek on the face, not the ass. |
| A movie's a great thing to see But only if it is, to a tee A well produced flick 'Cause if you see a dick A gay porn it's likely to be. |
| If you want your health to be well And have a clear mind for a spell A colonoscope's the tool Too make sure things are cool But when used you'll holler like hell. |
| Seattle's quite rainy, you know And when struck by a very swift blow Is the drop made of rain Or a tear from the pain As it rolls down you face, really slow? |
| When old frat guys graduate school They try to make each other the fool By getting on-line And taking the time To write e-mail weapons and duel. |
| Another guest Limerick form "The Hero from Vero" Should you choose to pay for a hump Then you'd best be off to Pahrump But bring three hundred bucks To ensure the girl sucks Or else you will look like a chump. |
| In "Deliverance" there's a scene that seems real And disgusted is how you will feel When the fay guy gets caught And is swiftly taught How it feels to be a pig and to squeal. |