The Life of a Sock pad, pad, pad all day long pad, pad, pad dammit can't we write about a thong? so I'm a sock, yeah, so what? you got a problem with that? I'm proud to be an American sock GET ME AWAY FROM THAT CAT!!! you know what it'll do to me after the day is done there won't be anything left of me and I won't fit the foot of anyone dammit wash your feet! wash off all that dirt and soot how would you like it if I spit on your foot?	Nipples (oh jesus) yeah so now they want me to write about nips what the hell am I writing next? spike studded leather, underwear, and whips? so how much do I love nips? let me get this straight... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 uh oh...time to masterbate WHOA!! That didn't come from me that other guy is the one who said nips and everyone else is like "yeah" oh man, what a bunch of dips I really didn't want to write about this I'd rather write about a flower now please excuse me while I take a cold shower	Lizard With No Tail OW! FUCKING BRAT! now my butt is all sore what the hell did you think I'd say? please sir, I'd like some more? well this ain't no fairy tale and it sure as hell isn't Oliver Twist because now my tail is gone and this lizard is pissed! so if I was a mail-in offer there's no way you'd survive now please allow six to eight weeks for me to eat you alive believe you me, I will get you back I don't wanna hear you cry and sob never mess with a lizard who's connected with the mob
Oreo Cookies! (M-m-mint) now this is a story listen to the sound of how the oreo cookie got turned around it started off fresh it started off sweet but now the cookie's off on a whole new beat ya see, some guy finally said "fuck that" then they turned the oreo into something phat all the hip new kids they just wanted a taste but what they didn't know is that the oreo was laced	The Cat With No Name There�s a ring at the front Who be ringing our bell? Oh look it�s the neighbor next door With the damn cat from hell Now this damn cat Is in attack mode 24/7 No frickin� way that this cat Is going anywhere near heaven Clawing up the couch Leaving �presents� all over the house If the cat were any smaller You�d mistake it for a black, furry mouse This cat eats so much That if you were to set the thing free, This town would have as much food As a third-world country So if you could hear this cat talk Being a furry black witch, The thing would probably say �Ha ha..left you another present, bitch!�	Ducks green sexy ducks like to get their freak on wakin' up at 6:10 and they're screwin' on your lawn good lord! What the hell?! can't they use some protection? never look at a duck when it has an errection you'll have to skip breakfast and then lunch too then you'll toss all your porn and you'll try something new so when your pants start to stretch and your blood starts to tingle I can give you seven digits for a duck I know is single
Catalano's checking my ass off oh look, another old guy oh god I'm sick of old old people and the shit they wanna buy why can't we get a sign that says no old allowed because you'd know then that we'd get the biggest pro-old people crowd management sucks, I hate the job gonna shoot the next person who acts like a snob get my gun, pump it twice shoot an old man and show him the spice damn I need a new job, it's not even funny why can't I leave? oh yeah, money	Monkeys oh look...monkeys! swinging from tree to tree scratching each other's backs dude! that one just ate a flea damn that's disgusting I don't mean to stare why the hell can't these monkeys buy some damn underwear tripping over each other running around butt naked not giving the slightest care to all the modesty rules that are sacred somebody please buy these damn monkeys some shorts don't care to hear their whining, crying, or retorts	Idiots! there are people that exist and they have no room to spare in that thing they call a brain which I hope is really there each day they yawn and stretch and they've got no frickin' clue that they shouldn't be allowed to do what they wanna do you see them everyday while you're driving in your car you can catch them later on while they're drooling on a bar who the hell am I describing? just think hard and you'll get it I'm describing no one other then the blundering idiot