It's still Monday, to me, but the calendar and the clock would tend to disagree.
So it amazes me to no end how I've made the transition from accidentally lazy to proudly lazy: a year and change, and I have certainly not progressed as a person. Or maybe I have, I just don't realize it; I'm absolutely more worldly than I was at the end of my junior year in high school. I've learned a lot about people, with an end result of wanting a lot more to avoid most of them. No, no, that's too negative; too drastic. I generally like people. But there are some who are easier to get along with than others. I'd be willing to bet there's a kind of mathematical equation to fit that concept...
If x = person A's agreeableness and
y = person B's agreeableness;
then x + y = the likelihood of and extent to which person A and person B will get along.
How the hell does this apply to anything at all? Oh, allow me to explain. Friends. I have plenty of them. Some of them I adore. Most of them I like. There are a few I can't be around for more than four minutes without ruining my appetite for socialization for the month. This can be easily explained by that very simple mathematical equation: some people get along really well with everybody, and some people don't. I am one of those who has a nice, average x value; I don't get along with everybody.
But i like it that way.
Oh, and I had another interesting hypothesis. It crept up on me while I was busy dreading writing my finals papers. I've noticed that lately it seems I just do not want to get down and write for school - it's such a chore, so boring, so strenuous. Such bullshit. But this hypothesis, this realization, apparated at that exact moment: I used to like writing! I used to do it all the time! I would write random stories, the first pages to books that would never see completion, I would construct essays in my head and actually be curious about them. But that stopped when I got so busy. The flow was stemmed, the tide went out to sea, and all that remained were the stagnant pools of unhappy sentences about boring things I didn't actually understand. So here I am. I'm picking it back up. I'm going to try to capture as much as I can in words, somewhere cohesive and organized - hah! - and see if it helps my Nature of Politics 12-page paper come together any faster.
Oh, and reading helps too.
I think tomorrow I'm going to climb a tree.
♥
It's been awhile - it makes me feel kind of guilty to come back here and see all the stuff I wanted to make happen. I've been making other things happen in the absence, though - I'm putting together a film festival with the library teen board, and I made a website for it. I've been working hard at school. By working hard, of course, I mean dragging ass home from the bus stop, followed by several hours' procrastination, a few hours in the pool, and a bedtime several hours later than what's healthy for someone so active. "Active." I've got a lot to show for that active schedule - washboard abs, for one. A pile of graphic design projects, for another. A messy room and an unmade bed. Rotting containers of leftover lunches. Chemically damaged hair and a bottle tan. These are the things I've accomplished in the past month; nothing else, really.
Maybe this newfound laziness is a result of a stressful calendar. It's more than likely. Lucky for me spring break is hours away... As a human being I need a break once in awhile, and the nonstop scheduling September through April gets to be a bit much by... Oh... November. Which means I've been ripping my own hair out and wasting my own life away for five months now. Life would be great if it wasn't so crippling.
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...And I fucking hate technology. Here's what they do. They sell you a cell phone for dirt cheap when you buy a two-year plan (for which, of course, you pay an arm and a leg.) Then your dirt cheap phone breaks, and you can't buy a new one for two years unless you pay another arm and a leg. So, there you are, stuck sitting on your ass for two more years in either a puddle of broken technology or a puddle of your own blood, because the goddamn industry just removed from your possession four major appendages. I thought the fucking point of living in the 21st century was more options?
On the upside, Rania in conjunction with her brothers Thomas & Anthony under the blessed guidance of Leigh (and his dropjaw editing skills) have posted their movies on the internet - please go here right now and enjoy.
I'm really excited because I'm working on a logo for MJG Productions, aka the fantabulous Mike G. Maybe I'll stop being lazy and post it, because it's so pretty it gives me nightmares... So I have a narcissistic design complex. This is bad?
I'm chatting with Isaac, and we're talking about refridgerators from hell. I miss University like hell... Ahh. Two more semesters.
♥
I have never hated anything more than midterms in my life up until now - which is strange, because now is when you'd think they'd matter. But quite honestly, I couldn't care less. My dad thinks I've lost my intensity, and he's upset over it. He's very upset over it. But I think the simple fact is that he's sucking the intensity out of me himself.
I can picture him sticking a siphon into my ear at night as I lay sleeping, innocent, harmless, and defenseless, and just slurping up all my motivation.
The busride home was harmless, and when I got home Allison and I made mashed potatoes and read the comics. The potatoes were awesome. The comics sucked.
♥
I'm almost finished with my application for RHP. I can't wait to get it out of my hands.
Today's interesting experience went something like this:
"Monica, sorry we don't talk anymore... ***** gives me shit when I talk to you."
Hahhahhaha...
I was openly relieved to get back to school today: back in school equals out of the pool equals a chance to rest my angry, tired, aching body. I think I'll take a vacation.
It is absolutely true that girls remember every mean thing ever said to them.
♥
i swear to never have children. that is the biggest lie i ever told in my whole life. but, this weekend has thus far contributed greatly to my strong hatred of little kids. i just can't handle the whining.
♥
Endear yourself to your waffle machine.
I am sitting in AP History not doing my work. Jack and Albert are sitting in front of me making fun of white people. They're working on their poetry project. I like the title "Three Little Chinks" but I don't think Albert does...
I can't wait for this week to be over! But I went trick-or-treating on Halloween (God save me) so I should have enough candy to numb my brain until Saturday.
Saturday. SAT's. Why would anyone make a test 4 1/2 hours long? How are kids supposed to write an essay when all we can think about is Canadian geese and the football game?
And Tejas is falling asleep. Well, he's doing his work, but he's falling asleep on the inside. Tejas, wake up. Tejas. Tejas.
;I fell asleep yesterday in homeroom. I was out cold. Then today in homeroom people were discussing homeroom yesterday - which was apparently pretty interesting - and it took me a few minutes and a lot of energy to figure out why I had no memory of anything they were talking about.
It is now much later in the day...
Tonight's workout was redick, considering that Wednesdays are supposed to be easy. I spent most of the main set staring at the black line and contemplating life and such and things. I came to the decision that there's two viewpoints in life, and they're both about obstacles. Either obstacles are a part of life and you have to accept them and find a way around, or it's completely unacceptable that your immediate path is blocked and you have to somehow move the obstacle. My theory is that which way a person leans on that one question determines their whole outlook on life. I can't quite figure out which is which yet, though.
Guess what? Sectionals are at Harvard in March and I have the cut for the 200 breast!
♥
It's finally getting cold out. I did a couple things today... First I dragged my butt out of bed. That was quite a task. Then I poured myself a bowl of cereal. From the cereal, things started going downhill. First I found upon returning to my room that dad had chosen today to move my furniture around and scrub the floors until they bleed. Then I realized that I had six hours of homework to get done and nowhere to do it, because my desk was utterly cluttered with the contents of under-my-bed. Then I added to this conjecture the fact that I had practice today, and that would take up a viable chunk of the afternoon during which I had intended to do six hours' of homework. So here I am, sitting in front of the computer. My room is clean and completely rearranged (it's so nice!) and my homework is untouched. Six hours from now it will be 10:45 pm. Dinner takes half an hour. 11:15 pm. I should get going.
But I won't, not yet, because I'm not done babbling. Wait... wait... Yes, I'm done now.
♥
I'm biting my nails down to the cuticle thinking about all this AP history work that has to be done before next week. But then again, I only have two chapters to go.
I'm having serious problems weaning myself off AIM for the new school year. I decided I can't juggle school, swimming, and four hours of unnecessary online conversations this time around, and right now I feel like a homeless guy who doesn't know where he's going to sleep tonight. And someone ran off with his blanket. And it's bitterly cold.
I'm still laughing about seeing David at the theater last night purely by coincidence. After Jo and I sat through the entire thing snorting with laughter and mooing during the super-quiet parts.
Summer is incredible. Being a kid in summer is... indescribable.
♥
