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its cold in the awakened state of redemption. i have crawled acrossed the barest of sands, the deepest of rivers to find my reflection in the mirror of truths. the instructions on my map state that it is only your deepest self that can ever see the value of your worth. i wonder if i've been stupid to have wandered for so long, to be so tardy in believing I have the right to live as well. There is no one in this hall of repair, no one but me and this mirror that speaks truth. If I stood infront what would I see? I'm so afraid to leave this spot on the bench and see with my own two eyes what I've avoided my whole life. It may take me a few more years to muster up the courage. So I wonder what the fight was for. The gashes, the cuts, the scrapes and bruises. I wanted this so damn bad. I wanted my worth, I wanted to see it-feel it-believe it. Yet here I sit in my own sulking matter waiting for that chime of infinite to sound and haven't the will to look into this mirror. The mirror of my truth. Maybe its time I get over my own destroyed past and start to rebuild my present so I don't ruin my future. Maybe I need to get over my own engrained flaws, before I'll ever know or see my own worth. |
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